The art of learning to breastfeed

Time, gentleness, and the right support can make all the difference. Auckland lactation consultant Cathy McCormick shares what new mums most need to know.

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things in the world. And yet for many new mothers, it is also one of the most unexpectedly challenging. If you are finding it harder than you imagined, you are not alone, and you are not doing anything wrong. What you need most, in those early days and weeks, is time, kindness, and support from someone who truly understands both you and your baby.

Most mothers struggle with the unexpected reality of postnatal healing. When breastfeeding challenges arise on top of that, it is easy to feel distressed and to blame yourself. Receiving conflicting advice can make things even more stressful. What every new mother deserves is kind, personalised guidance that acknowledges her specific situation and helps her stay connected to her own values and instincts. Skin-to-skin time and quiet moments with your baby are often the simplest and most powerful place to begin.

“What often helps mums relax and connect with their baby is lots of skin to skin and quiet time. You have more time than you think. Hang in there.”

Cathy McCormick, IBCLC

Worries that begin in pregnancy

Some of the most common anxieties I hear from pregnant women are worries about breast size, inverted nipples, pain, or whether they will produce enough milk. These are all valid concerns, and the good news is that preparing early makes a real difference. Your midwife is a wonderful person to talk to, as they will be supporting you through the first four to six weeks after birth. Spending time with friends who are already breastfeeding, watching and learning from them, can also be invaluable.

If you feel you need extra support, seeing a lactation consultant during pregnancy can be one of the best investments you make. By the time your baby arrives, you will already have a trusted support person who knows you, helping you feel calm, confident, and ready to work toward your breastfeeding goals.

Low milk supply - real and perceived

Low milk supply is the most common reason mothers stop breastfeeding in the first six to twelve weeks. Whether the supply is genuinely low or simply feels that way, many women doubt their ability to feed their baby. In my experience, mothers who have had more medicalised births often encounter early feeding challenges that can create a mistrust in the process entirely.

It is important to understand how milk supply works. Breastfeeding operates on a demand-and-supply basis - the more your baby feeds, the more milk your body produces. Most newborns need to feed eight to twelve times from each breast over a twenty-four hour period until they are around six to eight weeks old, spending fifteen to twenty minutes at each breast. Babies do not always follow a predictable schedule, and that is normal.

Cathy's tip:
Learn your baby's subtle feeding cues rather than watching the clock. Responding early to hunger cues, before baby becomes distressed, makes for calmer feeds and a better milk supply. Your baby is your best guide.

If you suspect low milk supply, seek advice you trust before reaching for a pump. Sometimes pumping can interfere with your natural supply rather than support it. A lactation consultant can assess your baby's latch, suggest natural ways to support milk production, or refer you to a specialist if needed.

Too much milk

At the other end of the spectrum, an oversupply of milk can cause its own challenges including blocked ducts, mastitis, and lactose overload. Pumping when you do not genuinely need to can signal your body to produce more milk than your baby requires. Trust your baby to regulate your supply - they really are your best pump.

Nipple pain

Some nipple sensitivity in the first few days is normal. However, damage such as trauma, blisters, bleeding, or grazes is not something you simply have to endure. These are usually signs that your baby does not have enough breast tissue in their mouth, or that there is some tightness around their head, neck, or jaw affecting how they open up to feed.

Squeezing a little breastmilk onto your nipples after feeds can help, as it is rich in antibodies and has natural healing properties. A good quality nipple cream can also provide relief. Most importantly, get advice from your midwife or lactation consultant so you can work toward a deeper, more comfortable latch and allow healing to begin. If nipples are not healing, a swab may be needed to check for infection.

Engorgement, blocked ducts, and mastitis

Full breasts in the first few days after birth are completely normal as your milk comes in. The key is to keep the milk moving - feed frequently, watch your baby's feeding cues, and hand-express between feeds to relieve pressure. Applying cold packs or chilled cabbage leaves for ten minutes after feeds is very important and can feel wonderfully soothing. Reverse pressure softening - gently pushing inward around the areola with your fingertips - can also help your baby latch more deeply when breasts are very full.

Blocked ducts and mastitis are both inflammation issues. Use the same approaches at the very first sign - feed frequently, apply cold packs after feeds, and take an anti-inflammatory if needed. Many cases can resolve without antibiotics when caught early.

When to seek help immediately

If you develop a fever, feel flu-like symptoms, or have a painful red area on your breast that is not improving with home measures within twelve to twenty-four hours, contact your midwife or GP promptly. Infective mastitis requires antibiotic treatment and extra support so you can rest and recover.

Lactose overload

An unsettled breastfed baby can be very distressing. One common cause is lactose overload, which happens when a baby receives a lot of the watery foremilk but not enough of the fatty, creamy hindmilk. Spacing feeds too far apart means breasts become very full, increasing the foremilk-to-hindmilk ratio. Feeding your baby responsively - whenever they show hunger cues, typically eight to twelve times in twenty-four hours - keeps the breast from becoming overly full and helps your baby receive a more balanced feed. Signs of lactose overload include a bloated tummy, pulling legs up, lots of spilling, and unsettled behaviour after feeds.

“All new mothers need kind advice that acknowledges them and their specific needs. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to breastfeeding - only the approach that works for you and your baby.”

Cathy McCormick, IBCLC