Instagram mums get raw and real
If a picture paints a thousand words, our instagram accounts sure have a lot to say. We ask three mums why they went public and what they hope to share with the world.
tashs.things
OHbaby!: What made you decide to document your life on Instagram and make it public?
Tash Stokes: The idea that one day this may become like an online journal for my children to look back on. As well as it being a way to share and bring light to a more realistic side to parenting that isn’t always the one we see online.
What is behind each post?
I am honest with my feelings and what our family is currently going through. Not just the good stuff – don’t get me wrong, I love sharing that stuff – but I don’t think it portrays motherhood sincerely if we only share the good moments. Often we find comfort and reassurance in the fact that we aren’t alone in our parenting struggles, and I try to consciously think about that when I post. For the most part though, this is just a journal of our lives.
What boundaries do you set around your Instagram account?
Keeping my children safe is obviously my top priority. I am also super conscious of not sharing anything that may come back to hurt my children in any way. I don’t post things like embarrassing stories, tantrums or nudity. Keeping a line of decency is really important to me as I remember that my children are people too and deserve respect and privacy.
How does it feel having so many followers?
Surreal! It still shocks me when people introduce themselves in person as a follower – I hope I live up to my online presence!
How has Instagram affected your family?
It hasn’t and I guess that’s my aim. It’s something I enjoy doing but it will never be my job or take time away from my family. I’ve always said if it began to do that, I would stop.
For many of us, our social media accounts reflect a ‘highlight reel’ of our life. How do you ensure your posts reflect ‘real life’?
I’m not ashamed to call it like it is. If we are going through a rough stage, I’ll share that. The feedback I get is from mums who are grateful I’ve been brave enough to show a side to motherhood most others don’t. I encourage mothers to open that line of communication by doing it myself.
What do you say to sponsorship offers?
I don’t do any sponsorship work. I don’t like the idea that my life could be used as an advert for anything. I’m just a regular mum living a happy, but very normal, life. I don’t view myself as someone who has the capacity to influence. I really value the kindness my followers show me, and I don’t feel like I could sell something honestly enough and still have their full support.
“This photo (below) is a bit ‘out there’ but it did gain me a lot of support, and even though it’s 10 months old, it still gets shared on different pages about four times a week! This shot represents how I show my reality as much as I can.”
thecultureofgrace
OHbaby!: What made you decide to document your life on Instagram?
Erana Pound: It wasn’t really a conscious decision. I started posting regularly when I was in the last stages of my pregnancy with my fourth child. It grew from there and I never stopped!
What is behind your decisions to share each post?
My decision to post usually comes from what is on my mind at the time or the message I want to get across. I’m very aware that, because I occasionally do gifted and sponsored work, I need to balance that quite well. I’m very mindful of the fact that personally I like to stay positive and I want my posts to reflect that.
I’ll give products we try an honest review, but I won’t post about things that we don’t genuinely use. I generally don’t post or engage in things that can cause division. I have my view on things, like schooling, obviously, but I try hard not to push any agendas or opinions and instead just show what we do. People can make up their own minds. I like to always engage with my followers and respond to them. They have taken the time to message me and so it’s important for me to acknowledge that. In terms of personal details, I just use common sense.
How does it feel having over 11,000 followers, most of whom are strangers?
I don’t really feel any different than when I had 2000 followers, to be honest. I feel extremely privileged to be able to share my life with others, encouraging and maybe even inspiring people to give things like homeschooling a go. I want my account to be a place where people can feel like an equal. Most of my followers are strangers, yes, but I’ve made some of my best friends through it.
In what ways has Instagram changed or affected your family life?
We have definitely had our moments. As my account has grown, I’ve had to learn to put a lot of boundaries in place – especially around when I use my phone, when I reply to messages and emails, and also how much of the day I’m sharing. It’s been a huge learning curve to find that balance. In a way, those of us who stay at home really appreciate this community, but it’s not the same for our partners who go to work, or for our kids. Instagram can take up a lot of time and being mindful of what you prioritise is really important.
For many of us, our social media accounts reflect a ‘highlight reel’ of our life. How do you find the balance between inspiring or encouraging people, while not making them feel inadequate?
This is definitely an issue but I think there’s a fine line between showing real life and actually just being quite negative and draining. I don’t want that, but I do want to show people that we have the same struggles. Our kids argue, I annoy my husband by leaving my clothes on the floor, I haven’t vacuumed in days and the washing is piling up. I try and make sure I include some of that in my posts and people do appreciate it. I know that, as part of what I do, I may unintentionally make people feel inadequate, but at the same time, I can’t carry that burden. It’s one of the biggest issues of social media, I reckon: the feeling of not being good enough because we spend our days watching someone else’s highlights. I try to be encouraging and ensure people see the ‘real’ as well.
How do you respond to sponsorship or collaboration offers?
Basically it depends what it is, what my time is looking like and what they are wanting from me. I’m happy to collaborate on things that will fit with us or will help a small business grow. I also appreciate my long-term relationships with bigger businesses. I can’t say yes to everything, and so for me, I need to choose what fits best.
rawandfree
OHbaby!: What made you decide to document your life on Instagram and make it public?
Sophie Steevens: My Instagram account began as I embarked on a journey to reverse my auto immune disease (Graves’ Disease) through a plant-based lifestyle. I was learning so much and I wanted to share my journey to hopefully help and inspire others along the way.
What is behind your decisions to share each image and how do you decide what you will and won’t post?
I like to keep each post as positive as I can by sharing helpful tips on a plant-based lifestyle, so this makes it pretty easy when deciding what to post. I try to be an advocate for healthy living, so the majority of my posts are based around good food or sharing my family’s active beach/surf lifestyle.
What boundaries do you set around your Instagram account, in terms of what you won’t post, how you respond to followers, the personal details you share...
I don’t like to go too in-depth regarding our lives. I’m open to sharing more about my personal health journey, but I like to keep some aspects of our family life a little more private. I’ve been lucky so far and only received positive comments and feedback from my followers, so it’s easy to respond back to them. I’m super grateful for my followers’ support, and Raw and Free has become a really positive platform.
How does it feel to have nearly 116,000 followers?
I actually don’t really think about the number of followers I have now, it doesn’t feel any different to when I was posting to 1000 or 10,000 followers! I just speak as if I’m talking to a friend and try to keep it as organic as possible. I was in Auckland recently and was stopped by a few of my followers on the street and in a café. It was really cool to meet them but it did take me a little while to get my head around the fact that they knew so much about me!
In what ways has Instagram changed or affected your family life?
It has definitely created lots of opportunities for my family and me, which is super cool. It also allows me to work from home, which is important to me, especially while the boys are young. It hasn’t affected us in any negative ways. I think Instagram can be a really positive platform, when used in the right way.
For many of us, our social media accounts reflect a ‘highlight reel’ of our life. How do you find the balance between inspiring or encouraging people, while also not making them feel inadequate?
I try to keep my account as real and raw as possible, sharing both the ups and downs. The majority of my posts are actually food-related or about encouraging healthy living, but I guess it’s only natural for us all to want to share our highlights. I think this is how Instagram can become destructive though, especially for younger people. We find ourselves comparing our own lives to others’ ‘perfect’ lives, but at the end of the day, it’s not real and we all need to remember that the majority of the content on Instagram is just little snippets of people’s lives – and often the best parts.
How do you respond to sponsorship or collaboration offers?
I get many offers but I only collaborate with brands that I believe in one hundred percent. I want to keep Raw and Free as authentic as possible so will often turn down anything I wouldn’t personally use myself. I’m really grateful for the many awesome opportunities that do come my way though, and for the awesome people I get to work with. It’s exciting how many opportunities social media can create.
