Legal guardians

We still haven't decided, been discussing it for over a year... As we're both young we wonder if it'd be wise to get our parents as her legal guardian (both are about 50 years old...) whereas our friends are all about 20ish.

You'd be surprised Nic at friends who are in their 20's DP and I were godparents at 21ish and we wouldn't have changed it for the world and if anything happened we would have dropped anything for our godson, now we have 3godkids I've told our besties if we get the kids we get their stuff too (they have a big screen tv, haha) We're godparents to them and will have legal guardianship as they don't trust anyone else so thats quite a big thing

Our DD's guardians will most likely be my baby bro and his GF as they love DD like their own, SIL spoils her and DD has her wrapped round her little finger, my parents are in their 60's so wouldn't put that on them, SIL and bro were both working, bro is doing a course till end of year then will be working again. Plus they would have all the support of my family who know DD as she lives with us at my parents house.

Main reason we wouldn't give her to besties is because they have their three already although whats one more in the grand scheme but she knows my family alot more then them and it'd be too unsettling for her. DP's family we didnt even really consider.

I really don't know. I would say my bro and SIL but she is Swedish and I'd be worried they'd decide to move there and that wouldn't be fair on our parents or DH's sisters.

One of his sisters has a partner with MS and I think has put of having her own family because of that, another is probably going to be single and suffers from depression (I think), the other is a possibility but has no children of her own.

We don't have any friends that I would consider.

That only leaves our parents, his are in their 60s and mine late 50s.

Sabrina0007 wrote: Most likely MIL. Even if we didnt choose her she would fight until she got DD. Its kind of hard for me because there isnt really anyone at all i trust enough to have DD if i was to die. Therefore i dont think about it.

Exactly, I just feel my friends or our friends are far too immature. I mean one of our friends had a baby almost 2 months ago and she chose to FF simply because she wanted to have Friday/Saturday nights free to be able to go party. And a lot of our friends are into the whole partying and what not and tbh I wouldn't want to 'ruin their life' or anything.

Tbh I would much rather pick MIL over my own mum but simply because MIL absolutely adores DD (so does my mum, but she has a much harder time switching off after work) and I know MIL already loves to play 'mummy'

My bestie is great with DD but she doesn't plan to have kids of her own so I would feel bad choosing her... I have cousins etc but again they have kids of their own. I'm not close with my half siblings...

Suppose that decides it for me then...

We have had quite a few talks about this and could not come up with a definite answer, talked to our lawyer when we did our wills etc.
My parents are split up but both see heaps of the kids and Dhs parents are very involved in their lives as well. My sister has three kids of her own and lives in the NI, my other two siblings don't have kids yet.
If something happened now, my inlaws would probably get them, with lots of input from my parents but it does worry me that the years pass quickly and they are getting older so we had a meeting with our parents, and my best friend and decided if we left this world they would all sit down together and decide what was best at the time - eg school is different to now etc.

My mom initially. I am seperated from the father, and he lives on an army base in a one bedroom apartment with thousands of guns. He would need a month minimum to sort out bigger accomodation, arrange work hours, get all set up for a baby/toddler/child let alone the fact that he has no experience with children and if baby is young he would be totally useless for a few weeks until he got it sorted.

So legally, my Mom will be guardian with the expectation that when his father is ready they will make the switch.

DS is simple, he'd go to either his father, or his fathers parents (not like I have any say in the matter, it took me 3 years to fight for the right to have day-to-day care of him from them!)

DD and this one coming are a lot tougher... there is noone in DPs family that we trust enough to be their guardian, my sister has too many kids of her own to have the room for 2 more, and my mum and I dont have that kind of relationship where I would have her raise my kids.... DP has life insurance, so there is something there as back-up for the kids (not DS though as he has his fathers family to take on that responsibility) but if something were to happen to BOTH of us before they were of an age to take care of themselves, it would probably be between DDs godparents, or my oldests godparents, at least I know they will fight to make sure my kids keep in contact regularly as it is inevitable they will be split up in the event anything happened to me.

At this stage my sister would become legal guardian. Shes pretty much expecting it, but she will also raise him the way we would, and she (currently) doesnt plan on having children so he would be raised as her own.
Both sets of parents are getting old, and I dont like my MIL and wouldnt want my child raised by her. DH's family hasnt settled down yet (eg married etc) and I dont think they are ready, my younger brother (and his wife) arent in a position financially and my family have concerns over the way my older brother is raising his children and I dont want any of our friends to have them. So that pretty leaves my sister. Only think not so good about it is I think he wouldnt grow up knowing DH's side of the family (although he might not if DH died anyway).
It is a hard decision to make, and one I would rather not think of.

We've been struggling with this one for awhile. No way to anyone in my family or DPs and we don't have any friends at the moment that I would trust to bring the boys up with the same values and love that we would.

DH and I have really only touched on this subject, more to exclude people than to actually make a decision (as it seems a lot of you guys have too which makes me feel better!)

My first choice would be my Dad as he's young at heart, loves kids and a lot of my parenting "philosophy" comes from my own parents. Unfortunately, my stepmother and I do not get on AT ALL and I wouldn't want her involved with my kids on a daily basis

My Mum and stepdad are great but have had health issues over the past couple of years that mean they likely won't outlive DH and I and young kids would be a burden. However, they'd probably be good legal guardians.

My bro and sis are younger and both would be great at the day to day stuff but would be a massive lifestyle change for them!

SIL and her husband have their hands full enough with their own two and I doubt they would cope with two (or more) extras TBH.

Which leaves my ILs who I do trust and know they'd do a great job, but they're in their 60s (as of this year) and MIL is a smoker which bothers both DH and I enough that I don't think he'd go for it!

We usually get as far as half agreeing that my sister is the best choice but then worrying that because she is single (for now) it is too much of a burden and would stop her living her own life...

We also have the issue of location as my Dad is in NZ (but away from extended family) and then Mum is in Sydney with bro and sis and her extended family. ILs are all in Victoria. DH's extended family is in Wellington.

Decisions decisions!