TT advice for 3 1/2 yr old

Hi, I need some advice on trying to toilet train my 3 1/2 year old. I feel like I've tried and failed at everything with her, sticker charts, rewards, lollies - nothing seems to motivate her. She gets very emotional about the toilet and being a big kid - and will just not do pee's or poo on it.

She talks about being a big kid but when it comes to wearing knickers she says she wants to be a baby and wear a nappy, have tried pull ups but she treats this like a nappy and just wets it.

I have tried unsuccessfully to have her in knickers, she will hold onto all her bowel movements for up to 6 hours, we continually go into the toilet and she will sit on it, but once we come back out to the lounge she will wet her pants, we went through 6 days of this in a row and I gave up, do you think I'm giving up too soon?

Has anyone else out there had a child this stubborn and was there anything you found helpful, there are things that she'll be missing out on soon as she will start kindy soon and they need to be potty trained (even this isn't motivation for her).

Thanks,
Angela

I also think that maybe you should have tried longer than six days. I've just toilet trained my boy and for the first 8-9 days it was accident every time but i just kept him in either undies or no pants, cleaned up a lot (played outside a lot too) and changed him umpteen times a day. Then miraculously he got it and started using the potty with big rewards and now 3 weeks later he is 100% at home and about 70% when we are out. Can you commit to just going for it and only using pull ups for nights? It is hard work but then it is done.   

Just my opinion too but I think 6 days isn't really long enough either, since its summer its a perfect time and yep you will have to clean up a fair bit but it shouldn't take too long, you really just need the first one so you can go mental on the congrats ...

The way I was told to do it was to sit them on the potty or toilet while you run the bath at night, cause the water sound will often make them go and since its after dinner etc... Try this for a week to get them used to the idea, still wearing nappies so no pressure. Then go cold turkey, no pull ups etc except for sleep times... I had DD on the potty for awhile just to get her used to it and then she just decided one morning that nappies were for babies, we still had quiet a few accidents, its a year later and we still get the (very) odd accident. I just stayed home the first 2 days and then if we went anywhere else I took the potty for the next 3 and kept reminding/asking her if she needed to go...

I don;t have alot of advise - although I have tried everything I am sure I am an expert - my son not long turned 4 and he still has a few accidents and poo's he will do a few 'skiddie' before we get him to do them on the toilet.

Its fustrating cause we know he can do it!

Wee's remindign him like Kebakat said did work - but now it doesnt it really fustrates him if we keep telling him to go - he wants to go when no one tells him to but he still has accidents....

Trouble is with our boy is he is very stubborn - knows his own mind and it has/had become a power struggle between us - his 3 year ol year was a hard one because of the constant battle of TT - once we took the presure off his behaviour was much better...

We are getting there though - he is in Undies all the time (except for nights where he has requested to sleep in undies but I won;t let him as he is always wet by morning)

Good luck and if she really doesnt have any interest at all then I wouldnt push it as it may make her be more stubborn about it.

We have made AMAZING progress, I've taken the stubborn approach myself and know that she understands but was just being pure stubborn - the first day I re-tried we had accidents all day long, second day only a couple of accidents and was taking her to the toilet every 30 mins, 3rd day and she's been taking herself to the toilet when she needs to and no accidents yet.

She was playing up and whinging that she didn't want to go to the toilet in those 2 days so I left her sitting on the toilet to do her business and walked off - perhaps she found that since I wasn't there to whinge at and cry too there was no point in making a big deal about it.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel although I know it's early days, is just such a neat feeling for me that she can do it and it was me and my reacting to her emotions that was probably the problem.