loss affecting future pregnancies?

Pook72 wrote: I tested last night and I just shook, very scared but have to learn to relax! It's natural to worry I think? I wish I could sleep fopr the next 8 weeks! Two baby angels

Best wishes for this little one to stick

Hi Ispy!

I don't think I will ever got over my MC's and I don't think I should in a way, they were a part of me and would have been my children...... I want to be a mother and If I don't try I won't know. I have been going to accupunture for a couple of months and have found it has really helped me to relax. I am going to drop down to part time hours soon as well as lots of TLC is what my specialist said is most likely to help. Does that make sense? *deep breath*

This is my opinion (& I don't mean to offend anyone by it)...

I have had two MC this year, both at 6 weeks. I lost one baby, fell pregnant the very next cycle, & then lost that baby too.

I think that every day when faced with every single thing that happens to us, we have a choice. We can choose to be negative or we can choose to be positive. We can't actually control the things that happen to us, but we CAN control the way we react to them. When I had my MC I had to choose. Do I let it break me, do I fall into a black hole of despair & never get over it, or do I choose to stay positive, view it as only a minor setbgack, put a smile on my face & carry on? I chose the second option. I try to do this with every bad situation I am faced with. That is just the way I have decided to live my life.

Was it sad? Yes, it was. Do I still sometimes think about those babies & what could've been? Yes, of course I do. But am I going to let it make me unhappy? No. Am I going to let it make me avoid other pregnant women due around the same time as me? No. Am I going to let it be a defining moment of sadness in my life? No. I choose to be positive.

So I waited a month & then we started trying again. We fell pregnant straight away & now I am 16 weeks pregnant. Did I let it ruin this pregnancy for me? Hell no. I chose not to be worried & upset & paranoid this time. I chose just to enjoy my pregnancy & remain optimistic.

As I said-that's just my approach to life. I really don't mean to offend anyone who is still struggling to come to terms with their MC. We are all different.

I'm abit practical too. My first pancake was perfect then like the 7 or so after that completely missed the pan It sucked but since there wasn't anything I felt I could do about since I'd already been warned not to expect to have another viable pregnancy I just blocked it out. The worst were the late 12-14 week ones but still life went on.

This time round I completely panicked when I had a massive bleed at 14 weeks but other than that I figured it'd happen or it wouldn't. The area where its hit me is the bonding. I really struggle to feel connected in any way to him and thats a real stressor for me. I figure it'll sort itself out though. Bit blase maybe but if I stressed about it all the time then I reckon it'd just make things worse.

Yes I agree about being positive otherwise you could just roll over and give up on everything.
As hard as the M/C's were I picked myself up and carried on. We all do have a choice when faced with different circumstances.
After the diagnosis and subsequent death of my mother (after a 12 month disease that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy), it taught me a valuable lesson. No matter how hard things get, I can survive it.
It goes without saying that we should'nt have to justify why we feel down sometimes, why we're anxious etc etc. We are all different, all different situations, all different pasts, it's great the support here and a place to talk to others who understand.
Raspberry Jam, yep I do believe everything happens for a reason but yes sometimes we may never know what the reason is.