Do you ever feel

Ignore the bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He/she is your baby and you and your other half (if you have one) are allowed to parent however you want! (well you know what I mean). We all have ideas on what we will and won't do for and with our children. Some will work others won't. Everyone will have an opinion, I plan on ignoring those I don't agree with. So long as your child is happy and healthy and you feel you are doing the best you can then that makes you an awesome mum!

firstly ignore other people, secondly you wont know what kind of parent your going to be until your baby arrives

That's pretty ridiculous that someone would think using or not using a dummy makes you a bad parent. Try not to let it get to you, being pregnant seems to make you public property at times!

Giving out advise can be touchy whether you've got children or not if it's not asked for. So personally I'd avoid it unless someone asks what you think.    Some things are less straightforward than you think unless you've been there.

Best thing to do, is keep an open mind about everything That way when things dont quite go to plan you wont be too bummed etc

We all say we wont do this we wont do that etc etc and often find outselves doing it lol.
I always said Id never co sleep but when my second was born and had terrible reflux and would only sleep with me, i did it.

For me a dummy = a life saver

When your pregnant you have all these expectations and things you want to do etc, but when that baby arrives its a whollleeee different ball game! and you just do what works really!

As for the advice thing, I agree with what Freckle said

Sheza wrote: Best thing to do, is keep an open mind about everything That way when things dont quite go to plan you wont be too bummed etc We all say we wont do this we wont do that etc etc and often find outselves doing it lol. I always said Id never co sleep but when my second was born and had terrible reflux and would only sleep with me, i did it. For me a dummy = a life saver When your pregnant you have all these expectations and things you want to do etc, but when that baby arrives its a whollleeee different ball game! and you just do what works really! As for the advice thing, I agree with what Freckle said

Yup exactly! Thats what I plan on doing is keeping an open mind. What works for me now may not work for me when bubs is actually here. As long as bubs is safe and all that that is all that matters really! I will use a dummy if necessary, because I know it can be a lifesaver haha but atm im just not for them but as you said things change and my mind is very open to that! I know it can be a bit disheartening if you have all these plans and dont end up going ahead with all of them. So yeah trying to keep an open mind about EVERYTHING :)

two_boys wrote: I can't believe anyone is saying you will be a bad parent I hope these people aren't friends cos if they are you might need to find some new ones who aren't arseholes. I sometimes read on here or hear pregnant women talking about what they will won't do etc and have a little chuckle to myself, the same as when my kids are throwing mega tanties and I see pregnant women or couples with young babies look in horror and I just think "yeah you will learn soon". But OMG I would never say anything to them, I especially would not say they were going to be bad parents that's awful. The person who said that about you giving them advice after asking for it was probably just upset cos your were right! I see no other reason why someone would ask for advice and then put you down for giving it.

Not really friends, kind of, but not close ones. But it still gets to me! and the person who got all sh*tty at me because I gave them my opinion was a close friend of mine. Lets just say she kind of isnt anymore after that performance she made. Kinda shows who your true friends are huh?

Oh and for the record, I don't think you will be a bad parent, I think you're gonna be just fine,if you were going to be as bad a parent as they say, then you wouldn't care at all, and you obviously do, your babies welfare is clearly important to you, so I think you will be all good.
Focus on THAT, not what these so called "friends " are saying

Using a dummy is fine, not using a dummy is fine too, anyone with a brain knows that neither decision makes you a bad parent.

I'm guessing that most likely you said something that got under your friend's skin, and she reacted because she was tired and fed up and probably secretly worrying that she was a useless parent herself. Sometimes even when we ask for advice there are things we'd rather not hear. That doesn't excuse saying that anyone will be a bad Mum, of course, but might explain why she said it.

We all go into this parenthood thing with lots of ideas. Despite the fact that they are just that - ideals - that's a great thing. To be honest I reckon we'd be more likely to be bad parents if we didn't. The fact you don't want to use a dummy means you've thought about it, that's a step up from someone who doesn't give a toss.

When you actually have a baby, sometimes your ideals don't work. That's fine to. You adjust, and work with your baby - that's being a good parent.

I wouldn't go as far as say I wouldn't take parenting advice from someone who's not a Mum... but I would expect it to be a lot more black and white and 'this is the way it's done' than that from someone with a bit of experience

Oh - and edited to answer your original question, yes, of course I do. I think we all do, you'd have to be pretty cocky to think you are / will be a brilliant parent all the time! Jacob has trouble sleeping in the day, and of course I wonder that if I looked after him better (somehow - not quite sure how!) he'd sleep better. On the other hand, I know I love him and will do my utmost to keep him loved and safe, and deep down I know that means I'm plenty good enough.

Edited by Hopes

Babies don't listen to any of the parenting advise or read the manuals they do what suits them much like every other person on the planet.

You'll be fine and yes hormones can make things seem a much bigger deal than they actually are.

Take care of yourself pregnancy and babies provide enough to stress about without worrying about what someone else says.

AandCsmum wrote: TheKelly wrote: Oh and for the record, I don't think you will be a bad parent, I think you're gonna be just fine,if you were going to be as bad a parent as they say, then you wouldn't care at all, and you obviously do, your babies welfare is clearly important to you, so I think you will be all good. Focus on THAT, not what these so called "friends " are saying *like* I must be doing a super job cause at just shy of 2 my boy still has a dummy

I like too, and we have just binned the dummy after 2 and a half years