Who do you want in the delivery room ??

I second the use of a DH t-shirt, being naked wasn't going to be an issue for me as it was a homebirth privacy wasn't an issue... and if I was concerned about hubby seeing me naked I doubt I would have ended up pregnant :) I just felt like I needed something on, after all it was the middle of winter (although we had super heated the house)

I think we all need to have a flexible plan, if we are too rigid we set ourselves up for failure, but if we don't at least think about these things then we might feel forced into something that we later regret because we were in a vunerable place.

I was quite happy to have DH there, but I also would have been happy if he wasn't there. I didn't need him there but I also thought it probably wasn't fair to kick him out of the house! I think for DH it was more important.

For me it was about establishing roles, as a women it is my body that was giving birth, so DH was told on no uncertain terms if he mentioned anything about how I should breathe etc... he would be thrown out (I would have too). But instead he was great, I told him what I saw his role as beforehand and because we have been though so much together before the birth we had already established a very strong trust. Personally I see the man's role as being the silent protector, I told him it was his job to make me feel safe, to bring me what i needed and to keep the house warm. Talk it over with you husband, if you need to work on your relationship to have more trust or to feel more comfortable with him, then do it. Ask yourself what do you want from him, and tell him what you see his role is, giving him a task or responsibilty (whether he is there or not) will make him feel included.

I am also reminded of Michel Odent an obstetrician who I believe did not attend the birth of any of his four children, because he believed that his presence would inhibit the birth process.

Whatever you decide make sure you listen to those instincts

Those of you who want to be alone during labour, have you heard of Freebirthing? Its not for everyone, but it is for some!
I would have had DH, MW, student MW, my sister, my mum in the room if I had given birth, but since I had a section there was DH and a whole bunch of Drs and nurses etc...

I would have DHs mum there too but a bit hard with her being in a diff country, although Im trying to get her here with number 2. And I will have DD there too.

Im not a nakey person, and people said when it comes time I wont care if I am nakey, but I never got to that point Maybe this time!

haha I think Im leaning towards HB, I dont want all the extra pressure that comes with a hospital birth, expecially having a VBAC...
And if I do end up at the hospital (and I still want DD there) I dont care waht tehy say, shes coming, its my body, my baby, my child, my birthing room. If I decide I dont want her there (Im not 100% sold on the HB, not sure why, which is silly cos its everything I want (and more!)) and Im transfered to hospital then it might not be the best place to have DD there anyway (like transferring for distress reasons etc) Does that make sense?

I didn't even consider asking DH if he wanted to be there or not, I assumed he did. It wasn't until someone mentioned it on here that I thought to ask him (this was after baby number 2, lol) and he looked at me like, 'where else would I be??'. Good to know we were on the same page

With my first I only wanted DH & MW there (felt a bit self-concious). Though after he was born I ended up with a fully retained placenta so got transferred to the hospital and had heaps of people in the theater while the dr had her arm, ummm, up 'there' TBH I was so euphoric after giving birth (mixed with tiredness from a long-ish labour and blood-loss) that I didn't really notice who was there!

With number 2 I had a student mw too and thought about asking MIL, but I wouldn't have asked my own Mum! As much as I love my Mum she fusses too much and would have irritated me. So I didn't ask MIL as I know Mum would have been hurt. With number 3 I had another student mw and then Mum turned up literally just after bub arrived! The student mw distractred her while I got tidied up.

With this one I plan to just have DH & MW again and if she has a student then them too.

eta: Wow, what a ramble

Edited by mummydee