| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
angelswings13 
Groupie
Joined: 01 May 2013
Location: Hastings
Points: 41
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Posted: 22 November 2013 at 3:36pm |
|
Hey Nic
I've been with my partner for 6 years. When I found out I was pregnant 7ish months ago, he flipped. He said abort or I'm out. Our money situation is awful, he is "FREE SPIRIT" as you put it. He likes to go out, he likes to party, he likes to do whatever he wants whenever he wants, and he doesn't want responsibility, and I'm much the same as you, I used to get angry at his constant going out, but I've gotten used to it now, and I know he wouldn't cheat... But I knew, right from the second it was confirmed that I was pregnant, that I couldn't abort. And I told him that. And those first few weeks/months were really pretty sh*t. He didn't come to scans, or appointments, and he didn't want to hear about it. We fought a lot, and he partied even more than normal. Then things started to change. We found out we were having a boy. Suddenly things really changed. He might have even got a wee bit excited.
I'm now almost 35 weeks. I have struggled my ASS off to buy everything I need for baby with no help from him, but he has stuck around. He makes sure I eat. He is partying less. He is talking about our son and what he will be like.
I knew it was going to be hard, I was terrified of being a single mother, but I knew I had to stand up for myself, make a decision for myself, and deal with his reaction afterwards.
I'm sure there are some pretty hard days yet to come, but I'm a lot more confident, even knowing he is still reluctant, that he is going to stick by me through it <3
Good luck!
|
|
#1 DS 17/12/13
#2 EDD 14/07/16
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
Nic133474
Newbie
Joined: 19 November 2013
Points: 15
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 November 2013 at 5:10pm |
WOW you are so brave and go you for doing everything for your baby boy... he is going to be so loved. My partner is getting worse everyday hes now texting me to 'get rid of that thing in me' and starting a fight however he can... he does what he wants and has been out everynight this week while I am so sick and left with the 2 boys who do get a bit neglected cause I cant do much (neglected as in interacting and time with Mummy, I do still cook, clean and do as much as I can for them). It was so bad the other night when his friend just showed up (and I am not allowed to tell anybody I am pregnant so they just think I am grumpy and look like a zombie for no reason) and my partner was talking to his friend getting agitated about work and the boys wanted his attention and he lost it and screamed at them (I wont write the word but it is nasty and starts with F) OFF. I just about fell over in shock! My 4 year old has a bit of an attitude and just said 'Nah you Dad' but my 3 year old broke his little heart and came and cuddled into me sobbing. I cant say anything at the moment as I dont want to fight so I just said 'you cant talk to them like that' and his excuse was he was talking to his mate and they were annoying.... REALLY?? I have never sworn at my kids and never will, I dont even like growling at them cause I feel mean. Im not in an ideal position as he is unhappy about the pregnancy but using it to his advantage by doing what he wants when he wants and if I do make a comment... the whole get rid of itstarts again. He did it just a few hours ago because he took my eftpos card and didnt give it back and I had to get food etc and I got screamed at for a good 30 minutes. I want to leave but I cant... where do I go? I cant raise the boys alone and especially after the baby is born as I have to have a c section so I will need help. Im stuck and miserable and he knows it and is using it... I really wish I had a support system to help me out of this. Im now scared I am going to miscarry as the stress I am under is non stop 
|
|
RachFizz
Senior Member
Joined: 20 August 2009
Location: Lower Hutt
Points: 2203
|
Post Options
Thanks(1)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 November 2013 at 6:09pm |
Huge hugs lemongirl. There will be support for you no matter what you decide, and there will be haters too. I would say follow your heart, and that you never know what tomorrow may bring.
|
|
TTC#1 since Apr11
On hold for study!
|
|
Jessaroo
Senior Member
Joined: 03 June 2013
Location: Nelson
Points: 1064
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 November 2013 at 9:06pm |
|
Sounds like an effing douche bag to me. It may seem like there is nowhere to go but I promise things work out you have to make the best decision for you and for your kids - if he continues this way and you walk - his loss. Stay strong, I'll be thinking of you xxx
|
|
|
|
Nic133474
Newbie
Joined: 19 November 2013
Points: 15
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 22 November 2013 at 9:23pm |
|
Thank you so much for your kind words xx I am a blubbering mess and im over walking on eggshells. His cousjin and partner live here at the moment and they were home when he flipped out and I feel embarrassed so apologized. Not many people really know what he is like and sometimes think im being over dramatic but once they witness it themselves they dont know what to say. It is time to leave, I just hope it will make him a better Dad for our boys and this baby if he wants anything to do with it. I love him so much but he mustn't love me if he can treat me.like this. Thanks again xx
|
|
JaniceN
Groupie
Joined: 01 September 2013
Points: 41
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 25 November 2013 at 10:01pm |
|
After reading this all I can say is wow . What a f wit. This is abuse , emotional abuse and you need to get out with your kids. You need to do what's right for you and them and believe me they aren't suffering because of you but they sure as hell will be sensing all that is wrong and how stressed and unhappy you are, kids are tough and they'll be worrying about you mum. You sound as though you already know you don't want to give up this baby and you know you need out. I hope you find your strength and get out. It will be hard but you will get through this . You are worth more and you don't need a guy like that .take care
|
|
Lisa333133896
Newbie
Joined: 25 November 2013
Points: 7
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 26 November 2013 at 9:23am |
|
I liked the previous comment. I confirm this opinion
|
|
What to do with an unplanned pregnancy
