Wheres my lovely daughter gone?

Not enjoying my toddler at the moment and really getting to the end of my tether... I know its partly cos I'm very fat and pregnant and dont have as much patience as normal, and I also know its a normal stage etc, but where has my lovely daughter gone?

She just doesnt listen anymore and hardly does anything when asked. I have tried Diane Levy's ask, tell, act discipline thing, but she wont stay anywhere that I put her now. Example, today she was watching a DVD we had just got from the video shop. I was tidying up in her room and she came in and got grumpy that I was putting things away. She said she wanted to play with the blocks which was fine. So I started tidying up the dolls house. Decided she would rather play dolls house. I said if she wanted to play dolls house she had to help tidy up the blocks first. She just ignored me and starting playing dolls. I asked her to put the blocks away, still ignoring, I told her and she still ignored me. I told her once more and gave her the choice wither put blocks away or sit in the hallway. Still ignored so I put her in the hallway, but she just wont stay there. I kept putting her back without saying anything, but it didnt stop so I was losing it and just walked away and left her to it. In the meantime she ended up getting the DVD off pause and was watching that on the couch 2 minutes later when I came back! Argh!!!

Up until recently she has quite happily sat on her bed for a few minutes until we go and get her, even willingly gone there when we have asked her to, but not any more.

So help please! All I want is to have an effective strategy that actually works. I know I need to stop worrying about the small issues, like picking something up, but I think that if I let her get away with that isnt it teaching her that its ok?

Aww, hugs Aimee. I remember this last year, being hot and fat and pregnant and having a child that was not helping me out at all.

Jake is being very "trying" ATm, and I find I am yelling and wanting to shake him at times as well. I hate feeling like that, but I am sure the hot nights and lack of sleep in all of us is compounding things.

I have got no stragegies, sorry, I just wanted to say big hugs.   I am just muddling though myself - and bribing lots with lollypops and ice blocks etc (bad habit, i know, but it gives me peice.) I find that I keep reminding him if hes a good boy/helps mummy/is nice to charlotte whatever, he can have a whatever after his sleep. Also, I find if I really really praise up good behaviour from him, Charlotte, Rod and myself ("good girl mummy, good cleanig up" very enthusiatically) really helps, as does holding onto those aww thats cute memories for keeping in your minds eye when you want to kill them helps diffuse things.

Big hugs to you xxxx

Hun, I hate to say this.... easier in than out.... at the start, anyhow, lol. its all good now though!

Edited by fattartsrock

awww hunn your doing a great job although you prop dont feel you are. toddlers are hard little critters to figure out just as soon as you get one thing working they go and change the rules. with james i have to change my direction with disapline and use time out in his room which i take him to he will scream bule muder untill i go get him but hes got the idae and is much better afterward. i have had to try many def things with james over the year big hugs hunn

yeah yay for DC going back, and looking forward to music, swimming etc starting back up, I'm sure its boredom alot of the time

Thanks everyone, I think I needed a rant and some sympathy more than anything!! Feel a lot better today and going to try a few more positive things today - one of which is getting off the bloody computer duringn the day!

*hugs* aimee.....i'm glad you are feeling better today!   i feel the same most days lately and i'm not preggy!   is their anyone that can take hannah to the park or something to give you a couple of hours to yourself?

Finally had some success! Gina Ford is once again my hero!! Have been reading her contented toddler book and her suggestion was to leave the door open and just keep going in at longer intervals, not going to her but jsut pottering around in her room telling her shes a good girl for staying in bed and that you'll be back again soon. Shut the door if they get up. (We always put her to bed with door shut cos her room is directly opposite our lounge door).

So first two nights took well over an hour of going in and out, but I think it was cos she was sleeping in to make up for the late nights... So yesterday morning I wok e her up at her usual 7am, and bed at 6.30pm. She was asleep within 15 mins. No crying, no fussing, nothing - and it was soooo hot. So YAY, long may it continue.

AND, since I have started operation 'positive happy mum' during the day we have had no tantrums, no issues with getting dressed etc etc. So that definitely makes a huge differnce.