Wheres my lovely daughter gone?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13759
Printed Date: 21 July 2025 at 10:14pm
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Topic: Wheres my lovely daughter gone?
Posted By: aimeejoy
Subject: Wheres my lovely daughter gone?
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 9:15pm
Not enjoying my toddler at the moment and really getting to the end of my tether... I know its partly cos I'm very fat and pregnant and dont have as much patience as normal, and I also know its a normal stage etc, but where has my lovely daughter gone? 
She just doesnt listen anymore and hardly does anything when asked. I have tried Diane Levy's ask, tell, act discipline thing, but she wont stay anywhere that I put her now. Example, today she was watching a DVD we had just got from the video shop. I was tidying up in her room and she came in and got grumpy that I was putting things away. She said she wanted to play with the blocks which was fine. So I started tidying up the dolls house. Decided she would rather play dolls house. I said if she wanted to play dolls house she had to help tidy up the blocks first. She just ignored me and starting playing dolls. I asked her to put the blocks away, still ignoring, I told her and she still ignored me. I told her once more and gave her the choice wither put blocks away or sit in the hallway. Still ignored so I put her in the hallway, but she just wont stay there. I kept putting her back without saying anything, but it didnt stop so I was losing it and just walked away and left her to it. In the meantime she ended up getting the DVD off pause and was watching that on the couch 2 minutes later when I came back! Argh!!! 
Up until recently she has quite happily sat on her bed for a few minutes until we go and get her, even willingly gone there when we have asked her to, but not any more. So help please! All I want is to have an effective strategy that actually works. I know I need to stop worrying about the small issues, like picking something up, but I think that if I let her get away with that isnt it teaching her that its ok? ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Replies:
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 9:18pm
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BTW, the sleeping issue hasnt really improved. Last night we put bonjela on the molars and she went to sleep straight away - might also have been cos it was cooler. Tonight tho did bonjela and it wasnt that hot again, but she still did the screaming blue murder.
Had enough (to be honest I just wanted to shake her - didnt tho, please dont get the authorities on me!) so just rubbed her back and she was asleep in a few minutes. So no idea whats going on. Maybe its part of the clingy thing at the moment, and with the baby almost here? I dont know, just not enjoying motherhood at the moment. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 9:32pm
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Aww, hugs Aimee. I remember this last year, being hot and fat and pregnant and having a child that was not helping me out at all.
Jake is being very "trying" ATm, and I find I am yelling and wanting to shake him at times as well. I hate feeling like that, but I am sure the hot nights and lack of sleep in all of us is compounding things. I have got no stragegies, sorry, I just wanted to say big hugs. I am just muddling though myself - and bribing lots with lollypops and ice blocks etc (bad habit, i know, but it gives me peice.) I find that I keep reminding him if hes a good boy/helps mummy/is nice to charlotte whatever, he can have a whatever after his sleep. Also, I find if I really really praise up good behaviour from him, Charlotte, Rod and myself ("good girl mummy, good cleanig up" very enthusiatically) really helps, as does holding onto those aww thats cute memories for keeping in your minds eye when you want to kill them helps diffuse things. Big hugs to you xxxx ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 9:37pm
Thanks Annie  I do actually think a lot of it is to do with me, not her, but its all just too hard at the mo. Get this baby out of me! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 9:39pm
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Hun, I hate to say this.... easier in than out.... at the start, anyhow, lol. its all good now though! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 9:40pm
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Oh babe - not fun.
I've gone through many a similar time lately and have worked out that it's when I start 'bluffing' that Han really takes advantage of me. So the only thing I can advise is to make a stand and stick with it. Very easily said when I'm not big and preggo! Atleast you get a 'holiday' soon - pity it's to give birth! hehe 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 9:43pm
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awww hunn your doing a great job although you prop dont feel you are. toddlers are hard little critters to figure out just as soon as you get one thing working they go and change the rules. with james i have to change my direction with disapline and use time out in his room which i take him to he will scream bule muder untill i go get him but hes got the idae and is much better afterward. i have had to try many def things with james over the year big hugs hunn ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 9:53pm
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same here, although mostly i'm finding it harder with Paris. but certainly i am getting to the point where i just think ARGH! we haven't been too bad here thank god in the last week since starting back at daycare, so i think it was cos she was bored so just wanted attention.
hugs chickie, it will get better, i hope.   ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 10:07pm
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yeah yay for DC going back, and looking forward to music, swimming etc starting back up, I'm sure its boredom alot of the time ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 10:34pm
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Big cyber hugs and I hope it passes soon. SOrry I have no ideas to help I cant remember my girls at that age lol, well not the trying stuff anyway. ON the brightside of it tho I would rather deal with a toddler that didnt listen to me oppose to a teenager......now that gets my shackles up and rritates me into wanting to shake her too.. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 20 January 2008 at 7:43am
Thanks everyone, I think I needed a rant and some sympathy more than anything!!  Feel a lot better today and going to try a few more positive things today - one of which is getting off the bloody computer duringn the day! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 20 January 2008 at 10:40am
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Sending loads of positive vibes your way ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 20 January 2008 at 10:51am
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*hugs* aimee.....i'm glad you are feeling better today! i feel the same most days lately and i'm not preggy! is their anyone that can take hannah to the park or something to give you a couple of hours to yourself? ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 20 January 2008 at 1:26pm
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I have managed in the last few weeks to pawn her off to the grandmas a couple of times a week for a few hours, but the relaxed feeling doesnt last long does it?!
Have been a very positive happy mummy so far today and I am amazed at how different a kid she is! We have had no problems whatsoever, so it obviously helps. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 3:48am
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Finally had some success! Gina Ford is once again my hero!! Have been reading her contented toddler book and her suggestion was to leave the door open and just keep going in at longer intervals, not going to her but jsut pottering around in her room telling her shes a good girl for staying in bed and that you'll be back again soon. Shut the door if they get up. (We always put her to bed with door shut cos her room is directly opposite our lounge door).
So first two nights took well over an hour of going in and out, but I think it was cos she was sleeping in to make up for the late nights... So yesterday morning I wok e her up at her usual 7am, and bed at 6.30pm. She was asleep within 15 mins. No crying, no fussing, nothing - and it was soooo hot. So YAY, long may it continue.
AND, since I have started operation 'positive happy mum' during the day we have had no tantrums, no issues with getting dressed etc etc. So that definitely makes a huge differnce. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 7:54am
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it does make a huge deffernce i found out with james if i,m nice sweeet mummy so is he ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |