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cuppatea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cuppatea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 November 2009 at 8:25pm

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asicsgal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote asicsgal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 November 2009 at 8:34pm
Originally posted by Pook72 Pook72 wrote:

I tested last night and I just shook, very scared but have to learn to relax! It's natural to worry I think? I wish I could sleep fopr the next 8 weeks!

Two baby angels

Best wishes for this little one to stick

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ISpyCharlie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ISpyCharlie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2009 at 9:45am

Congratulations Pook72!!

I too haven't approach that bridge yet, though I still can't get my M/C out of my head, so I am bound to feel anxious again, when I do fall pregnant. And I know logically that 'it wasn't mean to be', though it doesn't stop it hurting any less.



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Pook72 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pook72 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2009 at 10:39am
Hi Ispy!

I don't think I will ever got over my MC's and I don't think I should in a way, they were a part of me and would have been my children...... I want to be a mother and If I don't try I won't know. I have been going to accupunture for a couple of months and have found it has really helped me to relax. I am going to drop down to part time hours soon as well as lots of TLC is what my specialist said is most likely to help. Does that make sense? *deep breath*
June 99. June 09, Dec 09, Sept 10 March 12
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peanut butter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peanut butter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2009 at 1:22pm
I think its normal to feel as you do. I am a bit like kebakat in my approach and am not too bothered by my MC (in fact I feel a fraud even saying I had one). I guess it was my scientific background too. I dont like the phrase "happened for a reason". I dont agree with that...I just think it "didnt happen" at all. In my case I see it as a clump of cells that didnt quite have what it takes to make a baby. I guess its not that different to thinking of each AF as being a lost baby too. We all know that an egg gets lost each month but you could go tot he extreme and think that was a baby that didnt make it. Thats kind of how I think about my early MC.

Your situation is different in that you got to your scan totally expecting to see a baby. I remember you posting that in our Aug thread and that totally put the willies up me. I am just so grateful that my MC was early.....before I thought of it as a proper baby (bad choice of words).

Now, the way I tried to cope with the next pregnancy...and its just what I tried to do..not what I succeeded in doing well, was not to worry. I figured that there really wasnt anything I could do to stop a MC happening but I could make sure that I enjoyed every bit of the pregnancy so that this baby was enjoyed the whole way rather than worried about the whole way. If by chance it didnt work, I'd deal with that then. A bit like the "smile, it might not happen" mentality. Remember....statistically....most babies do survive!!!

As for worrying after they are born.....I still do.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote X Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2009 at 1:34pm
This is my opinion (& I don't mean to offend anyone by it)...

I have had two MC this year, both at 6 weeks. I lost one baby, fell pregnant the very next cycle, & then lost that baby too.

I think that every day when faced with every single thing that happens to us, we have a choice. We can choose to be negative or we can choose to be positive. We can't actually control the things that happen to us, but we CAN control the way we react to them. When I had my MC I had to choose. Do I let it break me, do I fall into a black hole of despair & never get over it, or do I choose to stay positive, view it as only a minor setbgack, put a smile on my face & carry on? I chose the second option. I try to do this with every bad situation I am faced with. That is just the way I have decided to live my life.

Was it sad? Yes, it was. Do I still sometimes think about those babies & what could've been? Yes, of course I do. But am I going to let it make me unhappy? No. Am I going to let it make me avoid other pregnant women due around the same time as me? No. Am I going to let it be a defining moment of sadness in my life? No. I choose to be positive.

So I waited a month & then we started trying again. We fell pregnant straight away & now I am 16 weeks pregnant. Did I let it ruin this pregnancy for me? Hell no. I chose not to be worried & upset & paranoid this time. I chose just to enjoy my pregnancy & remain optimistic.

As I said-that's just my approach to life. I really don't mean to offend anyone who is still struggling to come to terms with their MC. We are all different.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ElfsMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2009 at 2:40pm
yeah everyone worries after they are born but i was ridiculous..not letting others look after him..i think partly thats normal but also i was a bit OTT...

I get what you are saying about the early baby thing but i just dont get when it 'becomes a baby' if not at conception?

It eased a little after getting preg with E in terms of being pissed off i wasnt a mother and I assume it will be the same this time but i still think of the aug 07 guys adn think..wow my little one would have been doing this or that..doesnt help bub was conceived day after our wedding i guess:)

odette- i would love to be like that..I'm just not...:) maybe if i tried more often to think positive i guess? this time its a lot of worrying abotu mc then preterm lol.. so i cant win.. but i am slowly thinking soon i will be a mother of two little guys and being at cuppateas today looking at her two thinking this will be me next year made me smile:)
Mum to two amazing boys!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Babe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2009 at 6:02pm
I'm abit practical too. My first pancake was perfect then like the 7 or so after that completely missed the pan It sucked but since there wasn't anything I felt I could do about since I'd already been warned not to expect to have another viable pregnancy I just blocked it out. The worst were the late 12-14 week ones but still life went on.

This time round I completely panicked when I had a massive bleed at 14 weeks but other than that I figured it'd happen or it wouldn't. The area where its hit me is the bonding. I really struggle to feel connected in any way to him and thats a real stressor for me. I figure it'll sort itself out though. Bit blase maybe but if I stressed about it all the time then I reckon it'd just make things worse.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Raspberryjam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2009 at 9:52pm
Well Odettenz Im quite like you I choose to be positive too, but i have had many dark moments also.
When I first fell pregant with Milla, I had spot bleeding and was terrified. Without a Mum or a sister i had no idea what to expectand yip, wished I could sleep til I knew it was all ok.
Then my daughter was born with a complex congenital heart defect, and I know first hand that the fear of loosing a child is the closest thing you will ever feel to desperation. This dosent just apply for critical children like mine, Im sure many of you have been worried beyond belief about seemingly minor mishaps, or even if your babe is still growing in your tum and you have every right to be.
One thing I have learnt, after the docs told us to take her home and love her, is that I am her Mum and thats all I can be, and I believe that she chose us to be her parents because we love her best, and we do because thats all she expects of us.
Being positive makes a huge difference to us, Id say things could get crazy round here if we werent. I am a bit nervous right now, but I know in my heart of hearts that I can only do what is in my control to make this baby survive and hopefully be a healthy one.
Everything really does happen for a reason, but sometimes its beyond me what that reason is!

Edited by Raspberryjam
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asicsgal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote asicsgal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2009 at 6:16pm
Yes I agree about being positive otherwise you could just roll over and give up on everything.
As hard as the M/C's were I picked myself up and carried on. We all do have a choice when faced with different circumstances.
After the diagnosis and subsequent death of my mother (after a 12 month disease that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy), it taught me a valuable lesson. No matter how hard things get, I can survive it.
It goes without saying that we should'nt have to justify why we feel down sometimes, why we're anxious etc etc. We are all different, all different situations, all different pasts, it's great the support here and a place to talk to others who understand.
Raspberry Jam, yep I do believe everything happens for a reason but yes sometimes we may never know what the reason is.
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