Friendship Issues

I didn't know where to put this as we TTC-ed for 2 years and then got pregnant and miscarried so it's going in the infertility and miscarriage forums.

I have a friend who I went through a lot of my school years with. We weren't that close at school and it wasn't until two years AFTER school that we became quite close. Hubby and I see her and her partner usually 2 - 3 times a week, and she became the close girlfriend that I'd go to whenever I was upset about not falling pregnant. She was also the one who came over and sat with me, talked when I needed her to talk, listened when I needed her to listen, after I miscarriage. When no one else would talk to me about it. (Other than hubby of course!) No one else knew what to say and would switch topic when I tried to talk about it.

A few weeks back, she was trying to give me advice, and after I told her that I needed a break from discussing my 2 year infertility and then my miscarriage, she took it personally and we haven't been the same since. I didn't just snap at her, I told her a few times that I needed time out from it but she kept pushing and then I snapped. I told her that she hadn't a clue what was going on so could she please back off. I wasn't rude about it at all. I didn't actually say back off!

She hasn't got kids, she's not TTC, and she wont be trying for a few years. I just didn't need her telling me what to do when she hadn't experienced it.

I see her once a week at pub quiz, but she's a bit short with me, and she doesn't want to hang out other than that anymore.

I'm a bit lost about how to go on, because I miss her. I'm not sure if I overreacted or not.

We had issues before where she kept reverting back to her (before I miscarried) e.g. "Who knows if I can even conceive?" "I'm going to try for this long then do this..." "Will you be a surrogate for me if I can't get pregnant?" I was like dude!! You aren't even TTC! And I am! And this sucks for me! Luckily the two of us worked through that but... I hate not having her by my side.

What should I do?

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Edited by jjands

Maybe some time apart might not be a bad thing? A chance for her and you to cool off and get some breathing space. Then when you are feeling stronger and happier maybe you can ask her if she wants to meet for coffee.   Tell her that you miss her and if possible try and make her understand how you are feeling about TTC and your miscarriage. No one understands what we are going through, the only ones that do understand are the ones that have been through it. So she will scratch her head and do her best to understand.....but really she wont. She obviously cares and worries about you a lot, she is probably feeling sad and probably a llittle hurt about your reaction - even a lilttle embarassed.
I also have a friend that can be incredibily blunt with me re TTC. She tells me on a regular basis that "there is more to life than having a baby" like I am a freak with wanting it so bad. She has had two years of TTC with no luck and things are not looking so good there.....so of course she is speaking more about herself when she spits that in my face. For me right now there is nothing more important than having a baby. In fact, I feel physcially sick at the thought of never being a Mother. So now I dont discuss it with her so much or when I do I make sure I am feeling strong so I can deal with her firm opinions.
Dont lose your freind over this, give her a big hug and say sorry - let her know that you want to talk about other things right now.....but when you are ready to talk about your m/c she will be the first one you do open up to.
Take care