I do, I truely do.
How on earth, seriously, does it all go pear shaped?
We have dinner the same time each night, the same routine each night of having dinner, then going to get jammies, put on jammies, teeth-brush/face-wash, hair brush, toilet, story, sticker, bed.
yet somehow, somewhere, it all turns to custard.
They turn silly, they whinge, they get narky and nasty to each other, we try to stay calm, we try to make sure that it's not too late, that we stay with the routine, but right now it feels that the routine has adapted to include paris packing a tanrum at some randomly stupid thing like arguing with us about the fact that she doesn't need to go toilet, or that she wants to brush her teeth herself (when she knows that she only does it in the mornings, we do a really good brush at night), or that she just packs a tanrum at well, nothing really, alot of the time it's random things.
Ayja, well ayja likes to stretch it all out for as long as possible, including not getting dressed, we have tried helping her, dressing her, letting her do it herself, trying to make things fun, trying to keep things serious, (not all at the same time) she then usually gets silly, rolls around on her bed, does all sorts of silly things, no matter if she's gone to the loo just before bed/nappy-on time, as soon as i have FINALLY tucked her into bed, she insists she needs to go toilet, mostly she does go but it's very much a "i pushed it out" kind of effort. she usually will get up and do this again at least 2 times. she is driving us insane, we have tried being obliging, we have tried being harsh and telling her that well, she has a nappy on, and she should just go wees in it, we have tried letting her know that if she gets up for no good reason the doors will be closed, hall light turned off.. all of which, well, despite us actually following through... does nothing.
I feel at the moment that when i am at work i am waiting to get home to spend time with my kids, but when i am at home, despite running myself ragged to spend time with them, and do fun things, they don't appreciate it, they don't care, they just take and take and take and still be naughty.
what the hell has happened, where have my kids gone.
I don't feel that i am doing anything well right now. i try and try and try, i spend my time at work wishing to be home, I know i am working a heap of heaps to make up for the fact that mikes money gets cut for 3 months each xmas and theres nothing else we can get and no use him getting a job cos then we'd have to find childcare for paris too as well as trying to fit with my roster shifts, I feel that when i'm at home i try and try at it all truns out crap, what happened, when did things change, i have stayed the same, always the same, my kids no longer listen, they whinge when we do nice things, the cry when they can't get their own way. how on earth did all this happen?
I am fed up. I feel like i can't win.
I miss my kids, my normal, well-behaved, good listening kids. My kids that apreciate when we do fun things, and understand when we can't.
And most of all, I miss putting them to bed, and having them go to sleep before 9pm.
I don't know what to do anymore.