I hate bedtimes, etc, VENT FROM NAM
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Forum Name: Kindy and Beyond
Forum Description: So you've survived the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, now the fun really begins! Talk to other parents of older children here!
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Topic: I hate bedtimes, etc, VENT FROM NAM
Posted By: mum2paris
Subject: I hate bedtimes, etc, VENT FROM NAM
Date Posted: 18 December 2008 at 8:32pm
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I do, I truely do.
How on earth, seriously, does it all go pear shaped? We have dinner the same time each night, the same routine each night of having dinner, then going to get jammies, put on jammies, teeth-brush/face-wash, hair brush, toilet, story, sticker, bed. yet somehow, somewhere, it all turns to custard. They turn silly, they whinge, they get narky and nasty to each other, we try to stay calm, we try to make sure that it's not too late, that we stay with the routine, but right now it feels that the routine has adapted to include paris packing a tanrum at some randomly stupid thing like arguing with us about the fact that she doesn't need to go toilet, or that she wants to brush her teeth herself (when she knows that she only does it in the mornings, we do a really good brush at night), or that she just packs a tanrum at well, nothing really, alot of the time it's random things. Ayja, well ayja likes to stretch it all out for as long as possible, including not getting dressed, we have tried helping her, dressing her, letting her do it herself, trying to make things fun, trying to keep things serious, (not all at the same time) she then usually gets silly, rolls around on her bed, does all sorts of silly things, no matter if she's gone to the loo just before bed/nappy-on time, as soon as i have FINALLY tucked her into bed, she insists she needs to go toilet, mostly she does go but it's very much a "i pushed it out" kind of effort. she usually will get up and do this again at least 2 times. she is driving us insane, we have tried being obliging, we have tried being harsh and telling her that well, she has a nappy on, and she should just go wees in it, we have tried letting her know that if she gets up for no good reason the doors will be closed, hall light turned off.. all of which, well, despite us actually following through... does nothing. I feel at the moment that when i am at work i am waiting to get home to spend time with my kids, but when i am at home, despite running myself ragged to spend time with them, and do fun things, they don't appreciate it, they don't care, they just take and take and take and still be naughty. what the hell has happened, where have my kids gone. I don't feel that i am doing anything well right now. i try and try and try, i spend my time at work wishing to be home, I know i am working a heap of heaps to make up for the fact that mikes money gets cut for 3 months each xmas and theres nothing else we can get and no use him getting a job cos then we'd have to find childcare for paris too as well as trying to fit with my roster shifts, I feel that when i'm at home i try and try at it all truns out crap, what happened, when did things change, i have stayed the same, always the same, my kids no longer listen, they whinge when we do nice things, the cry when they can't get their own way. how on earth did all this happen? I am fed up. I feel like i can't win. I miss my kids, my normal, well-behaved, good listening kids. My kids that apreciate when we do fun things, and understand when we can't. And most of all, I miss putting them to bed, and having them go to sleep before 9pm. 
I don't know what to do anymore. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 18 December 2008 at 8:57pm
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Big hugs! I wish I could offer a light at the end of the tunnel on the bedtime thing, but the Miss Five in our household has just come out for the third time tonight to ask me to tuck her in (which I've already done twice) and she's been in bed since 7.30pm. Me and daylight savings, we're not mates. She refuses to sleep during daylight hours. They say insomnia is the curse of the gifted child, maybe your wee Ayja is a bit of a bright spark too?
As for the other stuff, hang in there. It's an exhausting time of the year no matter what situation you're in, but when you're in a tough spot in the first place it's even more exhausting. Your girls do appreciate what you do for them, and they do know how hard you try, they're just exercising the 'brat' gene that is present in all girls their age. Believe me, I'd like to stamp the "talk to the hand, whatever!" out of mine at least a dozen times a day! I wish I had an easy answer, but hey, we all know there are none of those or else I'd be charging by the tip and really rich  . But you are definitely not the only one, and one day they'll be grown with daughters of their own and they'll suddenly be realising what their poor old mothers went thru. I know I am!-------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 18 December 2008 at 11:02pm
i wish i could offer you some advice......but i feel as though i just wrote the same post you did ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 19 December 2008 at 8:35am
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No advice here either, but i feel the same at the momnet my nomally petty well behaved kids turn to nasty at bed time. hug's hun hope it get's better soon/. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 19 December 2008 at 7:43pm
Ugh, we're having these type of issues round here at the moment too  I can offer no advice as I'm tearing out my hair at the moment myself. Every night, bedtime 7pm. Has been like this since he was born. Every night - dinner/play/bath/teeth/bottle/bed. He was always so good, asleep by 7.15 at the latest. OMG not now!! Some nights he is STILL getting up and down at 11pm. He's so tall now that he can reach the door handles so I can't even just shut the door! He gets in to everything. One night I found him sitting in my clothes hamper pretending to drive a car. Another night I woke up at about 3am cos I heard a door slam, and he's gone downstairs alone and was playing with his toys. That kinda freaks me - sometimes I'm so deeply asleep (esp when I'm really tired) that I just don't hear him.
Aargh! I'm feeling for you Janine. I really am. Try not to get down about it any more chick. Its just a stage, and you are a wonderful mum. Boundary pushing is a normal part of them growing up. Lets hope they get bored of it real real soon 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 20 December 2008 at 1:40pm
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Ooooohhh I feel for you. Janaya was the same.
Hmmmm.... Have you tried perhaps putting on some music on once the "bedtime" routine starts? Used to work a treat for "clean up" times for us. We used to run about 15 mins worth and she knew she had x amount of songs to get her room cleaned up. She used to be absolutely horrible when I was working full time, it used to start from the time I picked her up from creche till the end of the night. I dont know if its because ive stopped working, or becauser shes grown up a bit, but shes definately much better now, there is a light! ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 20 December 2008 at 1:59pm
| Sorry no advice here but we are having the same issues with Jack. I think it may be because its so light outside and a lot warmer so it doesn't really seem like time to go to bed. |