The healing begins

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   I finally feel like things are changing for the better.  

Thank you to everyone for all your support through everything.  It has been a life changing experience for me.

I know some of you have been very worried about me so here's an update on how things are going...

I now have answers and direction.  I didn't know it at the time, but my body was too sick to handle a pregnancy.  Sometimes a mc just happens, but for me it was never going to work out well.  I am grateful now that it did happen, because if I had carried the baby she would have had problems.  Today I met and spoke to a woman who like me has health issues.  She has 3 children, two of which have severe hormonal problems at age 2 & 7 years old.  Her third child is fine because she was fully recovered when she had her.  That was enough for me to know that I won't be planning any babies soon.

I have a condition called myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), also known as chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).  Basically normal body functions don't always work properly and need support to keep working otherwise things goes wrong, like liver problems, immunity problems, digestion problems, just to name a few!  It can have a snowball affect as once one thing goes wrong, that can trigger something else to go wrong and so on and so on on.  Every person that has it can be affected slightly differently and to a different level, the one thing that is the same is the constant debilitating fatigue, hense the name.  There's no real treatment, just management of it through lifestyle changes, diet, and pill popping.

Before I got pregnant I hadn't had many problems with it for years and really thought I was fine.  I had never read or been told about any problems with being pregnant while having this condition.  I have since found out that I have very low adrenal function which then caused hypothyroidism.  This is low thyroid function.  The big problem with pregnancy is you need hormones!  Both these glands control over 200 hormones in your body, one of the big ones being progesterone which coincidentally is the one needed in early pregnancy for the baby to grow.  When my adrenal gland stopped working properly because it was simply worn out from the stress of handling a pregnancy, it caused stress on my thyroid so then it too got worn out and couldn't do what it's supposed to do.  So not only did this cause the mc, but then afterwards because I didn't know what was going on, I got sicker and sicker and then had a physical and emotional crash after the mc too.

I have learnt all this in a matter of weeks and it has taken me until today to finally feel good about what I have been through.  I am glad that I least I know what went wrong and why.  I have the power of knowledge, so next time I will be prepared and ready so I have the best chance to make it work.  I need to take some time to allow myself to get healthy again and to be strong enough to be pregnant and handle it so I won't be TTC for awhile.  I hope it won't be too long but I will only do it when I am ready.

I am sharing all this in the hope that someone that reads this might learn from my experience.  Many people who have this condition don't talk about it as you don't look like a sick person so you can be judged.  If you know someone who has these problems and wants to be pregnant, please share this with them.  I don't want anyone to go through what I went through when it can be avoided.  If you have this condition or know of someone who does and you want to be pregnant, I strongly...no that word is not strong enough...I BEG you to demand progesterone supplements from your doctor.  If you have this condition pregnancy will cause immense strain on your already strained body.  Your body is naturally weaker than a normal persons body so please try to be as healthy as you can be as you won't know there is a problem until it's too late.  

I hope this will help at least one other person as I had no one to tell me this and I wish I had.  I am there to help support anyone who has this problem so please feel free to PM if you want to.

For me now it's just onwards and upwards from here      