Anger!

.

Edited by Sheza

Can I ask what it is about his "angry" behavior that is triggering enough of your own anger to call him a sh*thead?

It is definitely normal behavior, toddlers don't have the same coping mechanisms as we adults do and when they are experiencing a new situation or emotion it is pretty intense for them - and thus they find ways of coping that can seem pretty intense to us in turn.

It is also pretty normal for them to take out their frustrations on the ones nearest to them, but again we are the adults and have to be very aware of what our own responses will teach them.

I know you have a wee bubba to look after too, but are you making sure you get some time to yourself each day, even if it is just in half hour blocks... like a nice hot cuppa and a magazine, or an uninterrupted shower? The more calm we can be, the easier it is to deal with these kind of stressful experiences.

We have been through this too, and it will definitely pass.

I know how you feel Sheen , I think mothers are under this impression that we have to love and like our kids at all times, loving them , is usually a lot easier than liking them , and just like any other person , sometimes they can really suck .
There are plenty of times when I think C is being a sh*thead,it doesn't mean I don't love her , doesn't mean I wouldn't die for her it just means, that every so often , I've learnt I don't have to like everything she does .
I know how much you love Caden and Bella , and I know you would consider them your greatest treasures, so I know that if Caden's behaviour is bothering you that much for you to call him a less than flattering nanme , its because you are reaching the end of your rope , which is OK , its alright to be stressed by behaviour like that ..its tiring, especially with a small baby to contend with as well .
As for what you asked tho, yes, it will pass, no you don't have a demon child , atm hes most likely feeling confused, up til a few months ago he was the only baby , now all thats changed and since he can't verbalise it very well, hes taking his frustration and confusion out in the way he does know how, physically .
Be gentle with him , because it is stemming from uncertainty , but still be firm , don't allow him to get away with it, you'll just make a rod for your own back .
Chin up babe ,it'll pass (and you'll move onto even more fun years ! wooop !!! ) your doing a great job

He might be hurting himself like that because its those occassions where he does get attention from you vs the other tantys.

you could tell him not to hit himself with his cars etc so they dont get broke.

a lot of mothers swear by the technique of acknowledging and naming the emotion... saying to him i know you are angry/upset/annoyed etc but we dont do *whatever the behaviour is* . how bout we go and do something else - then maybe suggest something that he likes doing that you can do.

I found the boys both got into this angry/frustration thing before they started talking. Like, they knew what they wanted to say, but they couldn't and they would get really angry when I wouldn't understand. Passed....oh so slowly it seemed. But pass it did.

lol Marisa
I just laughed out loud at that and Caden laughed at me laughing

Thanks for the tips I will give them a go, I can put him in his cot with no toys or anything and shut the door when he is having a temper tant.

He hasnt hit Isabella on purpose out of anger yet, just his dad But no doubt that day will come!

lol Nikki! Thanks and I did um and arr about the sh*thead bit, I decided to say it cos thats how I felt!! I

we just put him in his room(through lack of anywhere better in our house) and shut the door.

I just thought I'd come back to clarify that I wasn't trying to infer that the OP had anything less than absolute love for both her children.

It is more to the point that I feel when we get to the stage where our kids behavior brings about such strong emotions in us, and reactions including using strong language (whether it is within their earshot or not), it is often a sign that there is something going on within ourselves too (and not solely about their behavior) that needs to be addressed.

In terms of where I'm personally coming from though, I guess I have recently been feeling more aware of the origins and intent of language we use to insult people (or vent our frustration at them) - kids included. I know I'd get a bit irritated if one of you called me a sh*thead (even if not to my face), not to say that I don't ever use that kind of language or think really rotten things about my kids on occasion - nobody is perfect after all.

It actually seems to me like a testament to how well you do take care of your kids Sheza, in so far as Caden feeling loved and secure enough to let out his frustrations rather than just bottling them up.

The older he gets the better he will get at coping, especially when he enters a more verbal stage.



Edited by HippyMama