star charts

I would have thought that at least 1 other person would have used star charts

Edited by Linzy

FYI I've noticed that in general you get around 1 reply for every 10 views, unless it's a specially lurky thread

Yeah Weegee I've heard of that theory or something similar though not through that guy. About encouraging your children in the character traits you want to develop rather than praising. We found thats working alot better for us than alot of empty praising. We now focus on watching for the good things that he does and just quietly saying how kind/generous/helpful/loving that was and thanking him. He glows we don't make a big deal out of it and just get on with the next thing we're doing but we've noticed that the things we're commenting on are becoming stronger and more obvious, natural responses from him all the time.

Anyway slightly OT I think sorry Linzy

Star charts didn't really work for us. Jake loves stickers but wasn't a fan of putting them on the chart.
I heard somewhere they aren't useful til 3 and you have to make sure they get the stickers and prizes regularly that young coz of the short attention span?
Don't know if any of that helps but I hope you work something out

Our DD has a star chart, but she is 5 and it is for things like making her bed, emptying the dishwasher etc. She gets $1 for every 10 stars. We started it because she wanted to learn about pocket money and saving etc.

We tried a star chart with her when she was younger for good behaviour, but canned it pretty quickly because (as babe said) she was connecting doing things right with getting rewards, and it actually encouraged tantrums.

Good luck

Weegee - I think you're referring to intrinsic motivation? If so, it's something that needs to be learnt through starting with extrinsic motivation (eg start charts, praising etc) and gradually phased out. It's what parents do naturally anyway, because of course we don't all get stickers or praise each time we go to the toilet or sleep through the night, do we? That's how it was taught to us at TCol anyway.

So Linzy, sorry haven't used them yet but about to make 2 for Jack. One is for each time DH goes away and we're just going to put special rewards on it, like going to the park, visiting nana etc if we have a good day.

The 2nd will be for TT which we're starting soon. Don't know about how many stickers we'll use, but we made the mistake of using M&M's at first and now everytime he sits on the potty he says 'chocolate' lol.

Last night was the first night he stayed in bed all night, I did have to return him once but that as fine. Haven't used the star chart yet, will see how we go without it first. But thanks for the feedback

Hope it continues!

Nikki, Chloe is the same, she likes the stickers most. I really only give her the zoo animal when she reaches ten stickers because we got heaps really cheap during the year and I get bored of just giving her stickers... but she loves it. Haha