star charts
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29976
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Topic: star charts
Posted By: myfullhouse
Subject: star charts
Date Posted: 17 November 2009 at 8:33pm
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Does anyone use them? How do you find them? Do they work? How many stars do they have to get?
I am thinking of using one to encourage Jack to stay in bed (or return to bed) after coming into our room at night. As he is only 2.5yrs Mum suggested that he get his first reward after 1 night, then stretch it out after that, going no more than 3 nights without a reward. What are your thoughts/suggestions? ------------- Lindsey 
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Replies:
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 8:58am
I would have thought that at least 1 other person would have used star charts  ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 10:14am
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I haven't used them yet - JJ is too little - but I've been pondering this due to something I came across in my teacher training. This guy (Alfie Kohn) is a bit out there and lots of people disagree with him but I can't fault his logic. He vehemently opposes star charts and reward systems, saying they diminish the childs own motivation to accomplish something (he is very scathing about the Super Nanny). He also says you shouldn't say "good boy" or "good girl" for achieving something, rather put the focus on the behaviour (so say "you did it!" instead).
Anyway I can't find the exact article I'm thinking of but here's a link to a http://www.pregnancy.org/article/save-your-stars-avoiding-reward-junkies - summary of his thinking . I dunno if I agree with him yet but it's worth an explore  ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 10:16am
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FYI I've noticed that in general you get around 1 reply for every 10 views, unless it's a specially lurky thread -------------
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 10:53am
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I agree with him to a certain extent, I wouldn't want to use a star chart or similar all the time. However it is human nature to do some things when you know that you will be rewarded/compensated, it is even used in law, the Holidays Act states that people should be compensated for working public holidays and I am sure that not a lot of people volunteer to work without taking into consideration the compensation.
Elizabeth Pantley uses them as one of her solutions for 'nighttime visitors'. She suggests 2 options, either having to earn a certain number of stars to get a reward or getting a reward each time for a certain length of time. I am not really sure what will work best. Jack doesn't have a good sense of time so having to earn a certain number of stars before the reward may be a bit too much. ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 10:56am
Yeah Weegee I've heard of that theory or something similar though not through that guy. About encouraging your children in the character traits you want to develop rather than praising. We found thats working alot better for us than alot of empty praising. We now focus on watching for the good things that he does and just quietly saying how kind/generous/helpful/loving that was and thanking him. He glows  we don't make a big deal out of it and just get on with the next thing we're doing but we've noticed that the things we're commenting on are becoming stronger and more obvious, natural responses from him all the time.
Anyway slightly OT I think sorry Linzy
Star charts didn't really work for us. Jake loves stickers but wasn't a fan of putting them on the chart. I heard somewhere they aren't useful til 3 and you have to make sure they get the stickers and prizes regularly that young coz of the short attention span? Don't know if any of that helps but I hope you work something out -------------   
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 11:04am
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Oh I just saw your last post
TBH I'd be inclined to close his door rather than trying to persuade him to go back to bed. Jake isn't allowed out of his room at night fullstop and I wouldn't be rewarding him for doing something thats a simple requirement. I'm inclined to think star charts and reward systems teach kids a 'what am I gonna get out of it' attitude. In saying that we did give it a go with TT but it only lasted about 2 hours. -------------
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Posted By: rachndean
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 1:32pm
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Our DD has a star chart, but she is 5 and it is for things like making her bed, emptying the dishwasher etc. She gets $1 for every 10 stars. We started it because she wanted to learn about pocket money and saving etc.
We tried a star chart with her when she was younger for good behaviour, but canned it pretty quickly because (as babe said) she was connecting doing things right with getting rewards, and it actually encouraged tantrums. Good luck ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD Savannah 18.01.04 DS Austin 04.09.08 |
Posted By: X
Date Posted: 23 November 2009 at 1:29pm
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DS (aged 27 months) has a start chart. He gets a star for staying in his big boy bed the whole night through & not waking mummy & daddy (his door is closed at night anyway, but he is not to cry out for us to come get him)
He LOVES the start chart. Every morning when he knows he has been in bed all night with no waking he goes "star, star" when we come pick him up. He then rushes to the chart, we give him the sticker to put on the chart & then we count the stars together. Every 5 stars he gets a reward (a treat or a small present). It has worked VERY well for us. We are now going to extend it to toilet training. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 23 November 2009 at 2:22pm
Weegee - I think you're referring to intrinsic motivation? If so, it's something that needs to be learnt through starting with extrinsic motivation (eg start charts, praising etc) and gradually phased out. It's what parents do naturally anyway, because of course we don't all get stickers or praise each time we go to the toilet or sleep through the night, do we?  That's how it was taught to us at TCol anyway.
So Linzy, sorry haven't used them yet but about to make 2 for Jack. One is for each time DH goes away and we're just going to put special rewards on it, like going to the park, visiting nana etc if we have a good day. The 2nd will be for TT which we're starting soon. Don't know about how many stickers we'll use, but we made the mistake of using M&M's at first and now everytime he sits on the potty he says 'chocolate' lol. |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 23 November 2009 at 9:55pm
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Chloe has a sticker chart, and she loves it!! She has it for packing away her toys before bed (she gets a sticker for tidying up, and time out if she doesn't listen when I ask her to do it several times - it works really well!) She absolutely LOVES stickers. She gets to stick one to the chart and one on her hand. When she reaches ten stickers she gets a little zoo animal.
It has worked really well for us. We have only tried it for tidying away toys, but it's awesome. She only gets one for tidying up at the end of the day, but she will usually help me no trouble during the day, since starting it, and has started putting books back on the shelf before getting more down to read, she also chucks toys quickly in the box if she is excited about going somewhere... toys away, shoes, cardy/jacket... that seems to be her little routine. Once she does that she says "Let's go!" and is waiting at the door. Lol it's so cute. ANYWAY long story short, we find it really effective here. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 23 November 2009 at 10:19pm
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Last night was the first night he stayed in bed all night, I did have to return him once but that as fine. Haven't used the star chart yet, will see how we go without it first. But thanks for the feedback ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 23 November 2009 at 10:34pm
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Thats great, hope it continues!
We use one for Jakes fussy eating and taking forever with dinner. It has worked very well for us. He gets a star and his dessert if he eats everything for dinner ... and at the end of the row (its the chart that was on OB mag, so 5 stars) he gets to have McDs. He is actually more excited about the stars (I just colour them in as they're already on the chart) and loves counting them, he didn't even know there was a reward at the end to begin with, cos I didn't want him to wait too long so told him near the end of the week. We've done it for 3 weeks and hes had mcds at each weekend so far. Will just do it for one more week, then we're moving on to using it for TT - cos thats going VERY slowly (stubborn little guy). Good luck!!! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 23 November 2009 at 10:50pm
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Hope it continues!
Nikki, Chloe is the same, she likes the stickers most. I really only give her the zoo animal when she reaches ten stickers because we got heaps really cheap during the year and I get bored of just giving her stickers... but she loves it. Haha ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 24 November 2009 at 8:28am
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well last night I had to return him to bed at least 6 times! Am feeling shattered but will see how we go over the next few nights and may intorduce it later in the week if necessary. Great to hear that they do work though ------------- Lindsey
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