possibly a strange question

hey everyone,
im new on here but i wanted to share my story and get some thoughts on it as im still very confused about it.
I am 35weeks pregnant with a baby boy, due on the 21st of August. At around 12weeks pregnant i was admitted to hospital with severe hyperemesis. i had an initial ultrasound and was told that there could be twins. the next morning i had a proper ultrasound and they told me that yes, there were 2 sacs and 2 'yolks' but one had stopped developing at 8weeks. I was gutted and confused, as noone ever called the '2nd sac' a baby or a foetus and i never needed a D&C and i never bled, and was assured that the sac would just merge with the healthy foetus.
it wasnt until i read the words 'foetal demise of 2nd sac' on my ultrasound notes that i even considered the fact that i had effectively miscarried one of my babies.
to this day my partner doesnt really think of the other sac as a baby and everyone i talk to doesnt see what the big deal is, but the more i think about it the more upset i become. had that embryo continued developing i would be having two children in 5 weeks not one. in my mind that '2nd sac' was still my child. it was fertilized and it was alive and growing for 8weeks, and would have been my child.
am i crazy? still noone has ever confirmed or denyed my thoughts on the 'baby'. did i miscarry or did i not? are my hormones just making me over emotional?
sorry if this isnt the right place to post this i just needed to vent my frustrations.

also my deepest sympathies to those of you on here who have miscarried or lost a child

Thank you for being so clear about that Vanillabean, ive had so many different things said to me by people who have no idea, its just comforting to hear some clarity, thanks for the kind words.

My understanding is sometimes when a twin is lost then instead of bleeding the body absorbs the baby. It sounds to me like you have still had a loss, there were two babies and now there is only one. I like you would be devasted if this happed to me and I think you have every right to be emotional about it.

Have a look at this website http://www.twinloss.org.nz/ they have support and advice for this type of loss.

I am so sorry Krissy, you should be allowed to grieve the loss of your baby regardless of the one you are still carrying.

My MIL went through they same thing 30 years ago, my DH is the surviving twin. She lights a candle and places a red rose by it every year on their birthday.

I have heard it referred to as vanishing twin syndrome, if it helps to have a name.

Have you spoken with our LMC about this, pushing your grief aside is not healthy... maybe she can suggest a councillor you can talk to?

Big hugs hun.

I lost my baby at 12 weeks though she only grew for 8 weeks..and I definitely had to grieve...and it should be no different just because you have another one.. massive hugs to you!! and boo to the people in your life who can't see how important acknowledging the baby and your grief is:(