2 questions - Monsters & playdates

I thought I would just do one post so hopefully you wise ladise can help me.

First up is monsters, Kobe has started thinking there are monsters in his room. Do I go along with the monsters theory and just say its ok mummy will tell them to go away etc.. or do I say there are no such things as monsters. which is the best way to handle it?

Secondly playdates. There is a wee boy at preschool and he has asked heaps if kobe can come play at his house. his mum and i have spoken and they came to kobes party so i know she is a lovely normal lady but she has offered to pick him up from preschool and take her to thier house then me pick him up after work but im really not comfortable with this. I have no idea where they live (ok obviously i would find out) but i have no idea what the home life is like or what the rest of the family is like. Thing is Ive had a couple of other ladies from preschool who came with their kids to kobes party ask me if we can arrange a play date and along the same lines. is it normal for this to start happening at 4yrs old and am i just being over protective? So far Ive just said thanks but kobe is a bit shy about going to peoples houses so could we make it a weekend so i can come to at least for the first time. Am I being silly?

TIA

Monsters not sure as Andrew has had bears and alsorts in his room and they are friendly to him.

Playdates; depends on how you feel. I have had a few kids over from preschool and I picked them up from there and then their parents came and picked them up. That started late last year, but the boys had been in daycare together since 5 months and us (parents) had gotten to know each other over that time so they weren't strangers.

I think the weekend thing to start with would be a good start.

ditto with the weekend. Jake hads a wee friend Neo - we went to his birthday last week and jake desperately wants Neo to ome and play. i said yes, but during the holidays. I've talked to his mum and they are both oming over at some point. Maybe later they an visit independantly, but not just yet.

as for monsters. when there is a monster in Jake's room we yell "go away monster" and reminds ourselves that monsters are just pretend. bit difficult when books have monsters (albeit friendly ones) and so do boks.

I'm not really sure of a solid answer for either of these because my D's not been through this yet but a couple of suggestions anyway.

Monsters: Why don't you get out the DVD Monsters Inc? He might decide that the 'monsters' are friendly.
My niece was totally scared of spiders and the germs from the toilet duck add which she called spiders. She had a pretend spider in her room that would freak her out at night time so my sister made her believe that the imaginary spider was nice.

Playdate: It sounds like you don't know the mum very well so I would suggest that the first couple of playdates at Kobe's friends house include you staying for coffee until it's time to leave. Once you know the mum a bit better and feel comfortable then you cn leave Kobe in her care and reciprocate every now and then.

can't help you on the monsters thing robyn.....maybe try the spray and see what happens. if he's already afraid of them, then he's going to be now matter how you try and tell him not to be. so i don't think you are enabling it at all   IYKWIM?

playdates....i wouldn't let my kids go on a playdate without knowing the person properly first either.....in saying that, jack has been asking about kobe for a while now, want to come over for a playdate one weekend?