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kaybee
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Topic: Surprise Pregnancies Posted: 01 April 2011 at 10:32am |
So yesterday I discovered, very much to my surprise, that I am 5 weeks pregnant. This will be number 2 for us, I was very determined to have a 3 year gap between my 1st and 2nd but it looks like that's not gonna be happening now! I was in quite a bit of shock yesterday because it was so unexpected but am trying to remain philosophical about it - considering the fact that dh and I have had sex ONCE in the last month and we always use contraception, obviously this baby REALLY wants to join us sooner than we had planned!!
It would be great to hear from other Mums who have been surprised by a pregnancy. My last pregnancy was very much planned so this is a very different experience for me! I'd also love to know if there is anyone else who did everything right to keep from getting pregnant (apart from complete abstinence of course!) and it happened anyway?!
I must admit that I am not ready for the morning sickness, giving up sleeping on my tummy for another wee while and the sleepless nights that come with late pregnancy and a newborn. I know that lots of people have a 2 year gap between kids, I'm just not sure that I am cut out for it! I am very excited that we will be adding to our wonderful family, I guess it's just the process that it freaking me out a bit! How did those of you with surprise pregnancies come to terms with the idea, and how long did it take you?
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Two_Puddle_Ducks
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Posted: 01 April 2011 at 11:16am |
My first was a big surprise. We were preventing and he still decided now was the time to join our family.
I found that I spent my whole pregnancy and in fact probably a good part of his first year coming to full acceptance of it. That is not to say that I did not enjoy him or love having him, it was just a huge change that was unexpected.
Baby number two is very much planned with the three year age gap. Three years is a lovely gap for us so I understand why you wanted it but I'm sure that the gap you are going to have will have its advantages too.
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ginger
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Posted: 01 April 2011 at 11:53am |
Our second came as a huge shock. Cuinn was IVF and about 5 years in the making and arriving, and we'd just been through 6 months of intense stress (family deaths, new job, moving cities, a close family member having a serious accident) and 3 failed embryo transfers for No.2. I was quite convinced we were a family of 3 - even though we'd been doing embryo transfers, I was quite convinced that there would be no more children for us. Just in case though, about a week before I found out I was pregnant, I plucked up every ounce of courage I had to tell DH that I didn't want to do the remaining transfers which were planned for around now(we have 2 more embryos in storage). What a time  He was gutted, although I realised as much as he did that it was an issue we needed to work through. And theeeeen ...  I cried for about 2 weeks after finding out (our first was incredbly hard - never slept, screamed 12-16 hours a day, and life just stopped. It was horrible) and I think I only really started coming around to it about a month ago. That's when I started buying and planning essential stuff anyway
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Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00
Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 01 April 2011 at 12:05pm |
My first was very much a surprise, we certainly didn't want kids at that point in our life. We'd just booked everything for our wedding we were in the process of starting reno's on our house. We had everything except kids mapped out....then we got a surprise! I think the first as a surprise is far easier to cope with than a 2nd, especially as you are having them closer than you wanted.
You'll love it though, it's harder with two for sure but way cooler. eta meaning one is great but two make for some fun.
Edited by AandCsmum
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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EmDee
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Posted: 01 April 2011 at 12:53pm |
Number 3 was my surprise. It was my fault, I totally lost track of where I was in my cycle and thought we were safe. Funnily enough when I told DH I was pregnant and how I got the dates wrong he said, 'Yeah I thought you might have been wrong ..."(!!!!!!)
Anyway, initially I was completely shocked, DH & I had discussed a month or so earlier that 2 was it and I had started 'moving on'. I cried when I got the BFP. I rang DH & cried & I took the day off work. When I went back to work the next day I told my boss and cried. I told 2 of my close workmates & cried!!!!
Then I got really excited. While DD was/is more stressful than DS1, I was still excited to be pregnant (I have pretty straightforward pregnancies) and to be adding to our family. It probably took me a week or 2 to fully adjust to the idea.
How did I come to terms with it? Well, to be honest, we didn't have any choice, lol! Once I saw that I just decided to enjoy it. Now, I would not have it any other way
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DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2
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EmDee
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Posted: 01 April 2011 at 12:55pm |
Oh, congratulations btw!
I found 2 years a bit difficult at first (have 21mths btween DS1 & DD and 27mths between DD & DS2) but as time went on it definitely got easier to cope with
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DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2
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_Deb_
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Posted: 01 April 2011 at 2:49pm |
Just popping in to say congrats kaybee!
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Kalimirella
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Posted: 02 April 2011 at 12:10am |
Congrats Kaybee
And our first was our surprise baby, totally unplanned, me and DP had only been together just over 2 months when we found out.
Took a while to get over the shock, and then I got excited and he didn't, not until she arrived I think.
As for the were we doing everything right.. well we told our families we were :P But in reality I was keeping track of where in cycle, and I told him it was bad timing and somehow we ended up doing it anyways and viola.. Baby :D
Took me about 13 weeks to fully accept I was pregnant (the first scan) and then till about 28 weeks (when a baby becomes pretty viable) to fully accept a baby was coming. And then I got really excited! I had always wanted a baby, just not for a few years.
Now we have our planned 2nd on the way, (opposites to you :D) and we did want a short gap so I can finish study by the time the 2nd is 1 yr old and go to work (better paid than DP) and he can be SAHD and study :D
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Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd!
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Plushie
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Posted: 02 April 2011 at 8:30am |
Mine was a total random mistake/accident. And TBH if his dad hadnt gotten straight on the phone to his friends to declare excitededly he was going to be a dad things might have gone a whole nother way. But i'm so so pleased he's here. Now. After the shock and terror wore off! Oh - and i was on depo but it was something like the jab wore off on the 20th and i wasnt able to go get the next one til the 14th of the next month so a brief window of oppertunity for one brave sperm in there.
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Babykatnz
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Posted: 02 April 2011 at 8:45am |
bowie thats what happened with my oldest!! I'd not paid my doctors bill off so hadnt gone in for repeat, 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant! Opposite reactions though, his dad suggested the alternative but I wouldnt have a bar of it!
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Brandon - 05/12/2003 
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E&L+1
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Posted: 02 April 2011 at 1:29pm |
Our first was a suprise and the one I have on the way was planned to be conceived around this month not in January! I found out at 8 weeks as my cycle has been all over the show since getting it back after DD. We have worked out that if I'm not 100% onto taking the pill at the same time each day it doesn't work so will be trying an IUD or something else once this one arrives as if we decide on #3 we want a slightly bigger gap so want something that doesn't rely on me.
We will have almost exactly 2 years between them this one is due Oct 7th and DD was born Nov 2nd 11 days late. I wouldn't be suprised if this baby was late as well.
We were planning on having children in a few years so it just happened earlier than originally planned. DP didn't take the news particuarly well either time but quickly warms up to the idea once we get to the 12 week scan as I think that makes it real for him.
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Emmi_
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Posted: 02 April 2011 at 5:01pm |
This number 2 is a bit of a surprise (6 months earlier than 'planned') There will be 18 months between them.
I am still BFing 2-3 hourly (inc over night!) and dont have AF back yet... Im getting my head around it, slowly  I guess I would have the same worries even if baby had waited another 6 months to be concieved, so I guess I just ahve the normal nerves of a 2nd timer
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Jaxnz1
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Posted: 03 April 2011 at 7:06pm |
Congrats kaybee!!
Yip, #2 was a surprise for us. Wasn't expecting it at all. It also took us just the once this time. Was kind of expecting it to take a bit longer than it did.
Takes aaaaages to sink in, we've actually been so busy that I haven't even thought about having another newborn around. A bit freaked out about it, but I think once he or she comes along you'll be more than happy about the age gap.
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Emmecat
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Posted: 03 April 2011 at 7:44pm |
Another suprise #2 here  We weren't trying but weren't preventing...but we were REALLY not trying iykwim lol  just on 18 months between them, it's hard work but am sure it'll be lovely for them when they are a bit older. It's just at 18 months old my first daughter was still a baby really...it's much easier now she's just that bit older and we have a rhythym going to the day.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 04 April 2011 at 12:29pm |
Mine were planned so can't help with that..but have an almost exact two year age gap (though it peeves me off when people say i planned it that way i had two mc's and just by chance the boys were both due the same day lol we didn't plan it that way!!!!!)
2 years is a hard age gap in the beginning..well I found it hard.. balancing his needs with the babys and also a hubby home on ACC lol.. but now they are 3 and a bit and almost 14 months and it's brilliant. they laugh and play together and we love it.. so yeah it is a hard gap but it's great after a little while..all the best with it!:)
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Mum to two amazing boys!
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sweetknights
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Posted: 05 April 2011 at 9:59am |
My 3rd was a Surprise we weren't planning on Number 3 for a while as we were in the process of moving from the UK to here... And we put it down to one time when we weren't as careful as we could have been  But the age gap and everything was fine was just the fact we had so much going on we arrived here late September 2010 and our 3rd was born 1st Feb xxxx But when we arrived we had no house and hubby had no job but luckily everything feel into place and my husband got a job in October and we got a house in November
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Guest_42747
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Posted: 06 April 2011 at 9:37pm |
My defacto wife and I have also had a surprise week and 1/2 ago - she is also 5 weeks pregnant (6 1/2 now i guess). This is our first EVER pregnancy, but the upshot is she is 46yold. This is a real surprise, we've been trying on and off for a long, long time. We had kinda given up completely last year. She reckons that must have been the "relax everything" factor.
We are hoping this is one determined sperm & egg. Perhaps chances in any given month of conceiving after 45yo are at 1% according to something I read tonight. 1% added to our combined lack of "chances" : I reckon this baby is going to have a seriously dry sense of humour.  JavaScript:AddSmileyIcon('  ')
But what a special surprise!
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cuppatea
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Posted: 07 April 2011 at 7:41am |
This baby is a surprise, we didn't even BD at the right time in my cycle (I get ov pain so I know) and only once and we were using condoms, but my mw did say using johnny's is playing russian roulette so guess they aren't very reliable  We had been flip flopping about having a third and then I had pretty much gone totally off the idea, I went back to work part time in July and was enjoying getting my career back on track and having some spare $$$$, plus my youngest is a nightmare sleeper, he was up three times last night so it's like I still have a freaking newborn!
My DH was happy straight away, he was still keen on a third, he did want to wait a bit longer ideally but he had no qualms about one arriving sooner.
I'm still not overly happy and not excited like I was with the boys. I think though it's more just worrying about how on earth I'm going to juggle three kids with such small age gaps than not wanting the baby IYGWIM. The more organised I get the better I feel about things and I'm sure once the baby comes out all those worries will just melt away.
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becky
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Posted: 09 April 2011 at 8:43pm |
Our number two was a surprise we were not trying but not being careful either! However I have not used contraception since before DS1.
Anyway got PG in Jan instead of this month then found out at scan that we are having twins so very big surprise!!
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Kupukupu
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Posted: 09 April 2011 at 9:18pm |
I always kinda wanted 3 but hubby didn't and since the first 2 were reasonably hard work babies/toddlers, I didn't feel that I needed a third so badly as to push for it... had a mirena for 5 years to give me time to make up my mind and by the end of 5 years had made my mind up no more kids. Hubby sposed to get the chop and after mirena came out I was on the pill.
Had a full on December anxiously waiting for breast biopsy results (thankfully ended up no worries) and such a confuzzled mind I missed a few pills... wasn't feeling well so did a test at the doctors while I was there for something for my DD...."shocked" was how the nurse noted it on my file LOL
Have wrapped our heads around it now- it took some serious mental re-adjusting though but we are really stoked. The older 2 will be 9yrs & 6.5yrs at the birth and they are both over the moon- they had been campaigning for years for a sibling LOL I think of this as our "meant-to-be baby"
Hubby better book in for the chop soon though or I'll be making the appointment for him!! LOL
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