Surprise Pregnancies
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38609
Printed Date: 07 August 2025 at 6:54am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Surprise Pregnancies
Posted By: kaybee
Subject: Surprise Pregnancies
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 10:32am
|
So yesterday I discovered, very much to my surprise, that I am 5 weeks pregnant. This will be number 2 for us, I was very determined to have a 3 year gap between my 1st and 2nd but it looks like that's not gonna be happening now! I was in quite a bit of shock yesterday because it was so unexpected but am trying to remain philosophical about it - considering the fact that dh and I have had sex ONCE in the last month and we always use contraception, obviously this baby REALLY wants to join us sooner than we had planned!! It would be great to hear from other Mums who have been surprised by a pregnancy. My last pregnancy was very much planned so this is a very different experience for me! I'd also love to know if there is anyone else who did everything right to keep from getting pregnant (apart from complete abstinence of course!) and it happened anyway?! I must admit that I am not ready for the morning sickness, giving up sleeping on my tummy for another wee while and the sleepless nights that come with late pregnancy and a newborn. I know that lots of people have a 2 year gap between kids, I'm just not sure that I am cut out for it! I am very excited that we will be adding to our wonderful family, I guess it's just the process that it freaking me out a bit! How did those of you with surprise pregnancies come to terms with the idea, and how long did it take you?  ------------- 
|
Replies:
Posted By: Two_Puddle_Ducks
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 11:16am
|
My first was a big surprise. We were preventing and he still decided now was the time to join our family.
I found that I spent my whole pregnancy and in fact probably a good part of his first year coming to full acceptance of it. That is not to say that I did not enjoy him or love having him, it was just a huge change that was unexpected. Baby number two is very much planned with the three year age gap. Three years is a lovely gap for us so I understand why you wanted it but I'm sure that the gap you are going to have will have its advantages too. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 11:53am
Our second came as a huge shock. Cuinn was IVF and about 5 years in the making and arriving, and we'd just been through 6 months of intense stress (family deaths, new job, moving cities, a close family member having a serious accident) and 3 failed embryo transfers for No.2. I was quite convinced we were a family of 3 - even though we'd been doing embryo transfers, I was quite convinced that there would be no more children for us. Just in case though, about a week before I found out I was pregnant, I plucked up every ounce of courage I had to tell DH that I didn't want to do the remaining transfers which were planned for around now(we have 2 more embryos in storage). What a time  He was gutted, although I realised as much as he did that it was an issue we needed to work through. And theeeeen ...   I cried for about 2 weeks after finding out (our first was incredbly hard - never slept, screamed 12-16 hours a day, and life just stopped. It was horrible) and I think I only really started coming around to it about a month ago. That's when I started buying and planning essential stuff anyway ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 12:05pm
|
My first was very much a surprise, we certainly didn't want kids at that point in our life. We'd just booked everything for our wedding we were in the process of starting reno's on our house. We had everything except kids mapped out....then we got a surprise! I think the first as a surprise is far easier to cope with than a 2nd, especially as you are having them closer than you wanted.
You'll love it though, it's harder with two for sure but way cooler. eta meaning one is great but two make for some fun. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 12:53pm
|
Number 3 was my surprise. It was my fault, I totally lost track of where I was in my cycle and thought we were safe. Funnily enough when I told DH I was pregnant and how I got the dates wrong he said, 'Yeah I thought you might have been wrong ..."(!!!!!!)
Anyway, initially I was completely shocked, DH & I had discussed a month or so earlier that 2 was it and I had started 'moving on'. I cried when I got the BFP. I rang DH & cried & I took the day off work. When I went back to work the next day I told my boss and cried. I told 2 of my close workmates & cried!!!! Then I got really excited. While DD was/is more stressful than DS1, I was still excited to be pregnant (I have pretty straightforward pregnancies) and to be adding to our family. It probably took me a week or 2 to fully adjust to the idea. How did I come to terms with it? Well, to be honest, we didn't have any choice, lol! Once I saw that I just decided to enjoy it. Now, I would not have it any other way  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 12:55pm
Oh, congratulations btw! 
I found 2 years a bit difficult at first (have 21mths btween DS1 & DD and 27mths between DD & DS2) but as time went on it definitely got easier to cope with ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 01 April 2011 at 2:49pm
Just popping in to say congrats kaybee!  ------------- 
|
Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 02 April 2011 at 12:10am
|
Congrats Kaybee
And our first was our surprise baby, totally unplanned, me and DP had only been together just over 2 months when we found out. Took a while to get over the shock, and then I got excited and he didn't, not until she arrived I think. As for the were we doing everything right.. well we told our families we were :P But in reality I was keeping track of where in cycle, and I told him it was bad timing and somehow we ended up doing it anyways and viola.. Baby :D Took me about 13 weeks to fully accept I was pregnant (the first scan) and then till about 28 weeks (when a baby becomes pretty viable) to fully accept a baby was coming. And then I got really excited! I had always wanted a baby, just not for a few years. Now we have our planned 2nd on the way, (opposites to you :D) and we did want a short gap so I can finish study by the time the 2nd is 1 yr old and go to work (better paid than DP) and he can be SAHD and study :D ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 02 April 2011 at 8:30am
| Mine was a total random mistake/accident. And TBH if his dad hadnt gotten straight on the phone to his friends to declare excitededly he was going to be a dad things might have gone a whole nother way. But i'm so so pleased he's here. Now. After the shock and terror wore off! Oh - and i was on depo but it was something like the jab wore off on the 20th and i wasnt able to go get the next one til the 14th of the next month so a brief window of oppertunity for one brave sperm in there. |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 02 April 2011 at 8:45am
|
bowie thats what happened with my oldest!! I'd not paid my doctors bill off so hadnt gone in for repeat, 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant! Opposite reactions though, his dad suggested the alternative but I wouldnt have a bar of it! ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
|
Posted By: E&L+1
Date Posted: 02 April 2011 at 1:29pm
|
Our first was a suprise and the one I have on the way was planned to be conceived around this month not in January! I found out at 8 weeks as my cycle has been all over the show since getting it back after DD. We have worked out that if I'm not 100% onto taking the pill at the same time each day it doesn't work so will be trying an IUD or something else once this one arrives as if we decide on #3 we want a slightly bigger gap so want something that doesn't rely on me.
We will have almost exactly 2 years between them this one is due Oct 7th and DD was born Nov 2nd 11 days late. I wouldn't be suprised if this baby was late as well. We were planning on having children in a few years so it just happened earlier than originally planned. DP didn't take the news particuarly well either time but quickly warms up to the idea once we get to the 12 week scan as I think that makes it real for him. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 02 April 2011 at 5:01pm
|
This number 2 is a bit of a surprise (6 months earlier than 'planned') There will be 18 months between them.
I am still BFing 2-3 hourly (inc over night!) and dont have AF back yet... Im getting my head around it, slowly I guess I would have the same worries even if baby had waited another 6 months to be concieved, so I guess I just ahve the normal nerves of a 2nd timer ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
|
Posted By: Jaxnz1
Date Posted: 03 April 2011 at 7:06pm
|
Congrats kaybee!!
Yip, #2 was a surprise for us. Wasn't expecting it at all. It also took us just the once this time. Was kind of expecting it to take a bit longer than it did.
Takes aaaaages to sink in, we've actually been so busy that I haven't even thought about having another newborn around. A bit freaked out about it, but I think once he or she comes along you'll be more than happy about the age gap. ------------- 
|
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 03 April 2011 at 7:44pm
Another suprise #2 here We weren't trying but weren't preventing...but we were REALLY not trying iykwim lol  just on 18 months between them, it's hard work but am sure it'll be lovely for them when they are a bit older. It's just at 18 months old my first daughter was still a baby really...it's much easier now she's just that bit older and we have a rhythym going to the day. -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 04 April 2011 at 12:29pm
|
Mine were planned so can't help with that..but have an almost exact two year age gap (though it peeves me off when people say i planned it that way i had two mc's and just by chance the boys were both due the same day lol we didn't plan it that way!!!!!)
2 years is a hard age gap in the beginning..well I found it hard.. balancing his needs with the babys and also a hubby home on ACC lol.. but now they are 3 and a bit and almost 14 months and it's brilliant. they laugh and play together and we love it.. so yeah it is a hard gap but it's great after a little while..all the best with it!:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: sweetknights
Date Posted: 05 April 2011 at 9:59am
My 3rd was a Surprise we weren't planning on Number 3 for a while as we were in the process of moving from the UK to here... And we put it down to one time when we weren't as careful as we could have been  But the age gap and everything was fine was just the fact we had so much going on we arrived here late September 2010 and our 3rd was born 1st Feb xxxx But when we arrived we had no house and hubby had no job but luckily everything feel into place and my husband got a job in October and we got a house in November ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: Guest_42747
Date Posted: 06 April 2011 at 9:37pm
|
My defacto wife and I have also had a surprise week and 1/2 ago - she is also 5 weeks pregnant (6 1/2 now i guess). This is our first EVER pregnancy, but the upshot is she is 46yold. This is a real surprise, we've been trying on and off for a long, long time. We had kinda given up completely last year. She reckons that must have been the "relax everything" factor.
We are hoping this is one determined sperm & egg. Perhaps chances in any given month of conceiving after 45yo are at 1% according to something I read tonight. 1% added to our combined lack of "chances" : I reckon this baby is going to have a seriously dry sense of humour. JavaScript:AddSmileyIcon('')
But what a special surprise! |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 07 April 2011 at 7:41am
|
This baby is a surprise, we didn't even BD at the right time in my cycle (I get ov pain so I know) and only once and we were using condoms, but my mw did say using johnny's is playing russian roulette so guess they aren't very reliable We had been flip flopping about having a third and then I had pretty much gone totally off the idea, I went back to work part time in July and was enjoying getting my career back on track and having some spare $$$$, plus my youngest is a nightmare sleeper, he was up three times last night so it's like I still have a freaking newborn!
My DH was happy straight away, he was still keen on a third, he did want to wait a bit longer ideally but he had no qualms about one arriving sooner. I'm still not overly happy and not excited like I was with the boys. I think though it's more just worrying about how on earth I'm going to juggle three kids with such small age gaps than not wanting the baby IYGWIM. The more organised I get the better I feel about things and I'm sure once the baby comes out all those worries will just melt away. ------------- 
 
|
Posted By: becky
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 8:43pm
|
Our number two was a surprise we were not trying but not being careful either! However I have not used contraception since before DS1.
Anyway got PG in Jan instead of this month then found out at scan that we are having twins so very big surprise!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Kupukupu
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 9:18pm
|
I always kinda wanted 3 but hubby didn't and since the first 2 were reasonably hard work babies/toddlers, I didn't feel that I needed a third so badly as to push for it... had a mirena for 5 years to give me time to make up my mind and by the end of 5 years had made my mind up no more kids. Hubby sposed to get the chop and after mirena came out I was on the pill.
Had a full on December anxiously waiting for breast biopsy results (thankfully ended up no worries) and such a confuzzled mind I missed a few pills... wasn't feeling well so did a test at the doctors while I was there for something for my DD...."shocked" was how the nurse noted it on my file LOL Have wrapped our heads around it now- it took some serious mental re-adjusting though but we are really stoked. The older 2 will be 9yrs & 6.5yrs at the birth and they are both over the moon- they had been campaigning for years for a sibling LOL I think of this as our "meant-to-be baby"
Hubby better book in for the chop soon though or I'll be making the appointment for him!! LOL |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 11:05pm
|
Congratulations Kaybee. Sounds like a very familiar story to me. We took a long time to concieve our daughter (approx 5 years) and our son was a complete surprise! My daughter wasn't even 2 yet and we hadn't really seriously discussed a second child at that point. I didn't even realise i was pregnant until about the 7 week mark as we were moving house and I was putting my tiredness down to the stress of packing, organising and running around after a toddler. He was concieved using condoms and there was no known malfunction as far as we knew
Anyway, I suppose it took me until about the 12 week mark to really come to terms with it - and to be honest until around the 20 week mark to decide I was happy about it. The one lovely thing about having a second was that the only items to buy were boys clothes and a second car seat. Everything else was still hanging around from DD's little baby days
DH took a little longer to come around to the idea, but got there in the end. Ended up with a C-section having him so had my tubes tied at the same time - no more surprises for us thank goodness! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Spacette
Date Posted: 10 April 2011 at 3:15pm
|
Congratulations! Hehe Becky, twins would be even more of a surprise!
A wasn't particularly planned but wanted to come (BD once in the whole month, hehe, and we were both pretty much asleep!) and I took a couple of weeks mulling over the fact that I might be pg - got a couple of negative tests initially, but I know my body pretty well. Was set to go to World Champs for ultramarathon so had to let that go, but on the whole got used to it pretty quick and was excited within a few days of confirmation. In terms of timing and life stage it was all good though. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 10 April 2011 at 4:22pm
|
My first baby was a big surprise,considering Id only been with her father a short while when I concieved,was 19 and still studying.
Was a different scenario cos I was young and single but she was and still the best surprise of my life. Congrats on your impatient little baby to be ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 10 April 2011 at 9:00pm
|
Congratulations!!
I have 2 years 2 months and 2 days between my girls - and I wont lie - its hard work!! Both babies are demanding in their own ways - Little one is for obvious reasons - but I enjoy her immensly - Im not sure if this is because my eldest has some health issues or just being more relaxed as she is my second - but I just adore her My big girl has passed the baby stage and is REALLY asserting her independence, but also on the flip side is quite jealous of not having me all to herself anymore and can be quite a little miss about it In saying that - now that her little sister is playing with her and starting to chase her around the house and share her bath they are forming a lovely bond and its amazing to watch them together and I wouldnt have it any other way - cant wait til next summer when they can really hang out and swim together and play outside etc - they will be adorable! I hope the next one is made soon though, would like less of a gap this time Im sure you will be fine, second time round is different, easier in the fact that you are more relaxed and know you can do it Its fab having two sets of little arms reaching out wanting to be loved and cuddled ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
|
Posted By: kaybee
Date Posted: 20 April 2011 at 2:27pm
|
Finally getting round to responding...
Wow some really interesting stories in there, it's nice to know that I am not alone! I am 8 weeks now and starting to get my head around the whole idea, I think that I will be a lot more excited once I'm past the first trimester and over this horrible morning sickness that I was so unprepared for. Thanks for all the stories guys, there are certainly some determined little babies out there wanting to join the world, I like to think there is a little someone joining us who knew we were the right family for him/her and couldn't wait any longer to meet us -------------
|
Posted By: Chelle_B
Date Posted: 11 May 2011 at 1:54pm
|
Great reading other peoples stories and knowing people have had similar experiences. I have just found out this week that I am 5-5.5 wks pregnant and it came as a complete shock I still am in a state of disbelief. My partner and I have only been together 4 months so this has defintily thrown us but we are hoping for the best and just going with it! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: GenevieVe1234
Date Posted: 25 May 2011 at 4:45pm
|
In the same boat as Guest_45859.. I think I just posted on your topic earlier..
very reassuring reading other ppls stories. :) |
Posted By: NewMummyJade
Date Posted: 25 May 2011 at 9:02pm
|
Suprised? Try GOBSMACKED! I nearly fell off the toilet this afternoon.
Just discovered #2 is on its way! Someone pinch me ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 25 May 2011 at 10:23pm
|
"pinch"
Hehe, Ooooh 2 in 1 year, isn't that cool! Hope everything goes well for you :D ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 26 May 2011 at 7:44am
|
Wow NMJ!! COngrats!! -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
|
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 26 May 2011 at 11:39am
|
WOW Jade that's awesome! If I remember rightly it took quite a while for you to get BFP with number 1 didn't it? ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: GenevieVe1234
Date Posted: 26 May 2011 at 2:25pm
| congrats NMJ :) |
Posted By: Jess299
Date Posted: 05 June 2011 at 9:19pm
|
Ohhhh so relate to this thread so gonna chuck my wee bit in. . . . my gorgeous DD was born January 2010 after three months of "not trying but not preventing" and just having come off Depo, just found out I'm pregnant with no 2 and due January 2012 so there is going to be exactly 2 years between 1 and 2. Me and DH always planned for a nice big age gap, at least 3 years, but hey not to be. As much as I still feel this is really a horrible time to be pregnant (just settling into new job, sister getting married February 2012), and part of me is mighty p**sed off about having my June birthday and NYE ruined again (no drinking for me!), I am so grateful that this has happened for us when there are so many others who struggle. Helps too that DH has been so positive, as have family. Mama2Two I will also be getting tubes tied, two plus a dog is my perfect family ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: kelzie_rose
Date Posted: 24 June 2011 at 10:51am
|
Kaybee, I had a miscarriage in April. And 35 days later, I still hadn't had my period, so I was given pills to bring it on. A short while later I woke up one morning with intense abdominal pains, fever, vomiting and DH rushed me to the hospital. I was convinced that I had appendicitis. We were TOTALLY shocked to find out that I was pregnant. You hear about people getting pregnant the cycle after a miscarriage but never thought it actually happened. We've been trying to have a baby for almost three and a half years and the other three times we had been charting and knew we were pregnant from early on. This time was a TOTAL surprise. I had given up. -------------  Started TTC Apr 2008 With PCOS and a bicornuate uterus Our angel babies Jan 2010 <3 Oct 2010 <3 Apr 2011 <3 |
Posted By: Birdie
Date Posted: 24 June 2011 at 4:17pm
|
Wow glad to see there are a few of us!!! My number 2 was a surprise, I did not even think we BD'd that month but my belly will tell you otherwise!!! I cried for a week when i found out although I was lucky as DH was over the moon. I still wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat as I know it is going to be really hard work with 2 under 2 but at the same time feel blessed to have this wee one join our family and I figure that hard work trying to wrangle 2 little ones outweighs struggling to conceive so instead of feeling sorry for myself i have chosen to feel lucky ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
|
Posted By: SnuggleBear
Date Posted: 24 June 2011 at 5:09pm
|
My number 2 is also a complete surprise!! A complete whoopsie I think we bd d like 3 times the whole month! Good to hear so many surprise pregnancies tbh;) should show my dhthis thread as he is no so impressed but hopefully will come around soon;) ------------- Ds1 - 20 months old Ds2 - 4 months old |