Finding out the gender - yes or no?

Congratulations on your pregnancy! If you do decide to find out the gender you don't have to tell everyone/anyone.

We're finding out. No particular reason, just 'cuz we can' LOL

Good luck with your decision.

We found out with our 2. Just coz i was impatient and wanted to know. lol. I really wanted to know if i was right about what sex they were (i was) and i wanted to be able to buy boys or girls clothes.

But if we have a 3rd we won't be finding out. I really like the idea of having a surprise next time.

I don't think finding out would have any affect on people being excited, and if it did well they would just be silly.

Maybe you could wait till the day and see how you feel then.

Congrats on your pregnancy by the way.

Didn't find out with either. I've been more tempted with this one but have resisted as I know I would be disappointed in myself as soon as I knew. I like the surprise. I'm not bothered either way and the only reason I'd find out would be to buy clothes, which to me, wasn't a good enough reason! Also having not found out with #1, I couldn't justify finding out with #2. If I did have a strong preference, I don't know what I'd do. I worry that if I found out it was the sex I wasn't so keen on at 20 weeks, would that make me feel a bit blah for the next 20 weeks. I remember the feeling of them putting Dan on me after he was born and with all the hormones and the sheer delight at labour being over, I didn't give a toss what he was!

There's no right or wrong. If you don't know what you want to do, you can always get the sonographer to write it on a piece of paper. If one wants to know and the other doesn't, that person could find out and just keep it a secret.

I know that i definitely want to find out early as i am too impatient to wait!
As for other people i haven't made my mind up whether we tell them or not but i don't think it will make much difference as this is the first grandchild for both sides We also wont decide on a name till the birth anyway!

I don't understand why you have to find out to "get ready"... But thats just me, we didn't find out and it was SO EXCITING! People were so excited for us waiting to know, and I had sooo many people comment on how awesome it was that we didn't know.

Sure it made shopping a bit of a mission, but we didn't need to know to "get ready". We still managed to do the room up, and buy everything, that we could possibly need. Only difference was instead of buying pink or blue, we bought a lot of whites and yellows I bought a wee few nice things for each gender, and was really excited to pack both of them in my hospital bag.

It was my Mums job to go buy the pink or blue blanket (she knew which one I wanted) and she was sooo excited to go into the shop and finally be able to get the BLUE one!!!!

We just had a couple of names for each gender picked out, DH was soooo freaking STOKED with himself ringing everyone going "it's a BOY!!!!" that he forgot to tell everyone what time it was born, weight, name etc lol

Our friends had a baby the same day, they also didn't know what they were having and they ended up with a girl, the dad told us he was so set on having a boy- but when she was born he didn't even bother to look for ages, and was so excited to ring everyone saying it was a girl, that he didn't realise until the next day that it wasn't a boy! Hadn't even noticed, lol. He was just soooo proud and excited and stoked to ring everyone telling them it was a girl.

This is my first baby, and we found out.

Reasons being because DH wanted to find out, and I didn't have a strong feeling not to. Also, I respect the opinion that you don't need to know to plan/ organise the nursery, but for me I knew I was finishing work at 30 weeks with no plans to go back anytime soon and money would be tight after that, so I wanted to get everything I needed in the right colour and do up the room for the gender, while I still had money to. For me that was really important. Im big on gender colours, hehe.

I really enjoyed finding out because up until I did, I had trouble bonding because I still couldn't believe I was pregnant. It took a while to get pregnant and the whole thing was so surreal for a long time. But once I found out I was having a boy and named him, bought things just for him and talked about him, imagined what he would look like, it helped me to see him as my baby and bond with him so much more than I ever could before.

I realise other people don't need that but that's how it was for me.

I think next time we might have a surprise, just so we have tried both sides of the coin. I do agree that I find it a little deflating that people know he's a boy and they know his name (I wasn't telling the name but my inlaws/parents have told people so it kinda got out) and it'd be nice to have a surprise on the day, so maybe next time we will try that.

But I don't regret my decision at all :)

ETA: For me people knowing the gender hasn't made them care less if anything it's made them more interested because they have been planning what they might do with him, buying gifts just for him, talking about what he might be like. It's been a bonding process really for us all :)

Edited by LittleN

We didn't find out...I really thought I would want to and DH didn't want to....but then we switched and he did and I didn't and in the end we decided a surprise. I was certain DS was a boy and he was and I think I would have been astounded if he came out a she! Wouldn't have been worried either way tho.

We certainly didn't decorate the baby's room in gender specific colours, I like the idea of using the same baby things for the next baby so kept it yellowy, and the same with baby clothes...it makes me sad enough the clothes he wears now to think that there might not be another baby to wear some of them....and any of the wee baby boy clothes make me sad to look at....of course we might have another boy but then might just be girls from now on. That's the nice thing about the gender neutral clothes, they can get worn again....ooooh sweet little babies, I want another!

Congrats on your pregnancy after such a hard road trying!

I'm a fan of sticking with your initial gut feeling. We were adamant about not finding out but close to 20 week scan day we wavered a bit, as like you we liked the idea of setting up a colour coded nursery etc. We decided not to give in to temptation as we knew we could always go back for another scan if really desperate to know.

We are so glad now that we have waited, only a few days out from bubs arrival it is the most exciting thing to not know what we are having. Of course I am sure its exciting if you do know too, but it really feels special not knowing if we will have a son or daughter at the moment, but that in a few days time we will know!

In saying that I have friends who experience the "oh my gosh we're having a ?" at the scan and I am sure it is just as special as finding out at birth, its just at a different time.

We have done a neutral nursery but I think that's ok because if we are lucky enough to have number 2, we can move our firstborn into another room and decorate that according to the gender, leaving the baby's room neutral for the next one.

The only downside I think is that the clothes I have are pretty ho hum but it won't be for long. I actually have one or two things each in blue or pink, as I couldn't resist!

I am sure you will make the right decision for you :)

We haven't found out. We're both really looking forward to the surprise. But each to their own, I don't feel the need to have a girl or boy nursery and figure that if I have another of the opposite sex further down the track I can reuse everything. I think it is a personal choice, no right or wrong answer.

i agree with clover - no right or wrong answer.

For ds we did not find out. DH didn't want to know, was desperate for a surprise. I'm really bad with surprises so found it sooooooooooooo hard waiting. The plan was meant to be at birth that dh would catch the baby and say "it's a ..." Only it didn't quite happen that way and he couldn't speak when ds was born, tears streaming down his face, me strapped to the bed saying "what is it, what is it?" But it was still an awesomely beautiful moment when he was able to say "it's our boy" happy

This time around I was suffering with some depression before the 20 week scan. DH still didn't want to know bubs gender but I felt that it could help my mental state. So we took the plunge. Our instructions to the sonographer were that if it were clear we would like to know but there would be no gymnastics on my part in order to know. When we were told what bubs was DH and I were very surprised. Not that we had had thoughts either way but we were both still surprised (it was kind of funny our reaction really). At that time we decided that we wouldn't even tell people if we knew or not. Most people are very surprised to find out that we do no babies gender and I am surprised at myself at how well I have kept the secret. DH blurted it out to his sister and I made a very small slip (that we could have covered if we really wanted to) with MIL (she was very quick to pick up on it too) but other than that we've kept it a secret

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. It doesn't matter whether you find out or not - people will still have an opinion on the matter that they have to share with you, just nod and smile - LOTS!