Miso 2nd time round? *warning, maybe TMI?

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Edited by jjands

Thanks for responding, you 2.

I think I did speak too soon last night. . .
I carried on passing large clots pretty much every time I got up and moved round. If I didn't move, not much happened.
Got to about midnight and DP went to bed so figured I would. Took another 60mg codeine and hot milky drink and pretty much asleep straight away.
Awake 4 hours later, uncomfortable. On loo passed another load of large clots and had completely flooded the 2 pads I put on to sleep in.
Not only that, but it had gone through 2 layers of bathtowel and several layers of old sheet I'd put underneath me!
I then started having horrific pain, every which way I lay didn't help. DP got me a hot water bottle (bless) and some cereal so I could take a voltaren and 2 paracetamol, and I eventually got back to sleep. That was the worst cramping I had from this lot of miso, probably 8.5 out of 10.
Another load of clots when I got up, but pretty much mod-heavy bleeding today. feeling ok, not as woozy and out of it as I did last time round. No more pain.

DEFINITELY a different experience from the 1st lot of miso.

thesaff, you're right, mc is a big pile of bollox. Thats interesting what you put about the grief resurfacing after a few months, I'll look out for that. I keep thinking I know what to expect this time round, but things can always surprise you.
The first mc was like that, the grief was quite drawn out and didn't really seem to be lifting till I got pregnant this time. Its been a very dark year, and I couldn't get my head round ttc properly for ages;the idea of starting back at square 1 kept me back (as did the medical recommendations NOT to ttc for at least 10 months - in the end we thought bollox to that).

I'm considering going along to the local mc support meeting, not sure if it will be helpful or just upsetting. There's no way in hell I could have done it last time, but there's been a complete dearth of real-life people around me who have actually experienced what I'm going through. I'm open to ideas.
Also considering ttc as soon as 1st cycle is over. I know last time I just wanted to be pregnant again but couldn't face it when it came to putting the wheels in motion, as it were. So I'm open to that not actually eventuating right away too.

Its weird, things feel so normal right now, and I feel quite level headed and together . . . not upset at all (but then its easier when hiding out at home with just me and DP)

Hey Bobsta, thanks! I hope this isn't taken as offensive or the wrong way or anything, but I was remembering your thread and how everything kicked in a bit later, I remember you being "level-headed and normal" too!

Trying not to worry about the crash . . . I remember from last time, one day at a time . . .

thanks Melnel.

Well update, not good news. Had betas done today and it seems my HcG has just halved, not dropped the 80% the hospital want it to have done.
Which means I have retained product. I haven't bled enough, it seems.
I haven't seen the gestational sac yet, and (I know this sounds gross) but I have looked for it. So it might still be in there.
This afternoon I started bleeding heavier and bright red again (I was pretty much light to moderate flow since Monday) with horrendous uterus pain - couldn't sit, couldn't walk. It calmed down after panadol (easily placated, my bod) and is ok now, but the hospital want me to have another dose of Miso within 24 hours. oral as well, which is more likelihood of spewy and bumsquirty funfun.
A bit gutted; DP is already behind on his work because he took Monday and Tuesday off to support me with the miso. He has a shoot on sat morning he has already rescheduled from a previous week I think, and he wanted to do a workshop which he says he doesn't HAVE to go to, but I feel like such a party pooper. I don't know whether to take it tomorrow night and just have a sleepless night (lets face it, I'll be feeling sh*te either way if it works or not). I've got a meeting tomorrow to get something signed off for school and don't think I can put this back any more. I just don't want to be on my own with the miso.

The signs have pretty much all been there, I haven't crashed physically or emotionally since Monday yet I expected to. I feel pretty much the same: appetite/sleep/mood wise to before I took the miso. My temps are still high as they were last week.
I've noticed all this but just hoped my bloods were in a better state than they were last time (anaemic) and thats why I was feeling ok.

the weirdest woowoo thing is that last night I dreamt that I still had the baby growing inside me, and in the dream I was wondering how this could be so, after all the miso-bleeding. Woke up really sad, realising not pregnant after all.
I seem to have these slightly spooky dreams the day before I find out these things (had one before the 1st Scan of Doom, and also the day I think official mc#1 happened - had my first 'labour' dream). I like to think my subconscious is trying to cushion the blow.

Oh and I really don't want D+C as one of the scans suggested I might have one of them there Mullerian anatomy thingys, and (all the people in the hozzy I've mentioned this too seem in agreement) and there is much higher risk of complications following that procedure that, given my issues in carrying these pregnancies, I really don't want to add to them.

Fx this 2nd dose does the trick

Edited by spanky77

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Edited by jjands

Aww thank you for posting and being supportive.
Apparently the hospital has revised their scanning protocol as too many women were being scanned with retained product (go figure).
There was talk about me having a scan on Monday, but when I pressed to get this booked (played the ignorant 'is that something I do, or something you do' card) the lady got all vague and we would discuss that tomorrow. My gut feeling is that the baby is still in here.

Seems a scan is now a privilege not a right, but my understanding also (from these forums) is that scans are only free for, what, 2 weeks after mc, and I certainly don't want to have to fund this privately because the hospital has skirted round it for 2weeks so they don't have to cover it? (Dear Health and Disability Commissioner . . . ).

I'm not sure whose actually acting fast, I think the lady I'm dealing with is a nurse . . . never asked her job title. Maybe a CNS? She's not a doc, I know that. they have conveyed the idea that hcg testing is a more accurate indicator of effectiveness of treatment immediately post miso. I'm paraphrasing too.

Yeah I think it will be tomorrow night . . . stocking up on more pads and chocolate.

Mullerian (sounds like a kind of yoghurt!) anomalies are your septate, bicornate, heartshaped uteri. I think the risks are (correct me if I'm wrong) higher for scarring and adhesions (google Ashermans syndrome if you like medical stuff) due to the shape of the uterus not being 'standard issue' and it being a pretty much blind procedure.
i've had about 7 scans in the last year, only one has hinted at this being a possibility (ie not confirmed) but I'm taking no chances, being the statistical anomaly I am!

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Edited by jjands

Massive hugs from me Spanky, I hope this gets sorted soon. Take care - lots of love

Oh spanky it sucks that the pills are doing what they need to do. I hope I can ease your mind if you do have a D&C by letting you know that my D&C was very quick, painless and had no lasting after affects or complications.

Thank you for trying to reassure me! Although the idea of surgery leaves me cold, I would suck it up if it was necessary and go get it done.
the bit I'm concerned about is the aftereffects on my fertility, the fact its a blind procedure and no-one is definite on the structural anomaly I might have, or not. I just don't want to add to complications I already have. I know D+C's can still result in retained products. I think I feel a scan would be useful to locate what and where the 'products' are, and have a more intentional look at anatomy. I don't think D+C with camera is usually done, is it?

I know the big-girl thing to do is wait and see what my bloods say tomorrow. I know I had some pain and cramping on Thursday afternoon so could potentially have passed more than I think.
My gut says that I don't feel any different. I don't 'feel' empty. I don't feel more or less of anything to what I did two weeks ago.
I also do wonder if my miso experience last year involved mildly haemorraging, ie not the norm, and that now I'm waiting for something that isn't what usually happens anyway.

I need to stop thinking, I think!