how long do you let them cry for?

He did that the night I came over about 3 weeks ago now (I think). With Josh I go in once and tell him he is ok and tired and to go to sleep. If he continues after that then I let him cry himself to sleep, usually about 30 minutes.

I use to go into Benjy as soon as his cries got to be more than just a grizzle, as I thought he settled quicker if I did. Then I realised he was regularly waking at night again, just to have me go in for a cuddle!
So I've stopped that and will let him go unless it goes on for more than say, 15 -20 mins or if it is a really sudden, distressed cry. I don't go in after the first time if I know he's ok and is just putting off going to sleep.

we put Rhiannon to bed and as she doesnt like going to bed, she will cry and we just leave her....unless she is sick, only ever cries for no more than 15mins

yah lizzle, hopefully tonight wont be as long...

If we go in, it has to be for a set thing, no tantrums from them, they don't get up, they don't stay up, they have their drink or comforted fro bad dream or whatever then straight back tucked down again. Has always been that way, even as babies, if they didn't settle after 10-15 mins, I'd get them back up, let them have a playo n their playmat for 10 more mins then back to bed.. (god, am i a strict mummy? am i too strict?)

Ayja has gone thru stages of getting out of bed - she gets put back again calmly and told she needs to stay in bed. Now she has stopped that she has become a somewhat early waker - 6am (that's late for some i bet!)

Plus, well, we bribed her - she is now 10 days away from reaching her 100 nights goal of staying in cot, her sticker chart is pride of place and she knows she's so close. we have the new big girls bed waiting for us to pick up as soon as she does it.

anyway, tantrums don't wash with us - if they want something they ask nicely, if they cry and scream at bedtime they get one warning and then they have the door closed if it happens again(neither have had the door closed to sleep) - usually just that darkness is enough, close the door for 5 mins and they always, always will get in line and climb into bed quietly.... usually plain sailing from there.

We have tantrums from ayja other times though. - we usually just let her peter out on her own and stand our ground. - once it was after a bath, she was naked, and wouldn't let us dress her, but asked for help but refused to let us help (yeah i know, I was like huh? what the heck do you want then?!) she was naked for around an hour screaming and yelling and going nutty before she finally decided that she'd actually dress herself, and still then was steaming angry. once she dressed herself she got a cuddle to calm down though.

Hang in there - terribly frustrating i know.. bedtimes are the last thing you want to have troubles with - at the end of the day when you're just so close to getting the me-time you've been wanting all day.


Edited by mum2paris