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mamawendz 
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Location: Auckland
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 Topic: Toddlers Smacking Others
Posted: 14 December 2007 at 3:37pm |
About two weeks ago, our toddler Layla-Mei, started smacking. 
She mainly smacks her big sister and her cousins (around the same age), if they get too close to me or touch her things.
We are using time-out at this stage which has helped a little, but she is still constantly doing it!!! 
She attends daycare during the week and I was waiting for them to mention something to me, but they didn't, so I approached them to see how she is with the other kids, and they have told me she has NEVER hit any of the kids!!! What on earth?
I'm really stuck on how to get her to stop, we didn't go through this with Maddisyn when she was a toddler so Im having trouble knowing how to deal with it quickly.
Can anyone help?
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mama_wendz
 My Girls: Maddisyn Tylr & Layla-Mei Virginia
My Baby Boy: Noah Aotearoa
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FionaS
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 14 December 2007 at 4:17pm |
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Sounds like she is jealous. Elle (15mths) does that too when other kids get too close to me. Maybe just say something like "I know you are upset to see Mummy with another baby but I love you" then continue with the time out etc. It's probably important to show understanding and empathy as it sounds like she is just expressing normal emotions. Maybe even try to get her to use words to explain how she is feeling (if she is old enough????)
P.S are you related to the Panapa's that used to live in Mangere Bridge??
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Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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KH25
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Location: Cambridge
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Posted: 14 December 2007 at 4:25pm |
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Sorry can't help you Wendz but just wanted to say CONGRATS on baby #3!!! How exciting! Do you know what you are having?
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Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11)
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mamawendz
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Posted: 14 December 2007 at 4:29pm |
Thanks Fiona. 
I am empathetic when it comes to her being jealous over me so she doesn't feel discouraged, but not when it comes to her things? She is 17 months and I know she understands because she now hits and then gives a sly look waiting for a reaction.
Will keep up the time-out thing, might be the only option? haha
And yeah I am related to them, I'm married to Mac (Macgee). His parents still live in Mangere-Bridge though. Do you live/use to live in the area?
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mama_wendz
My Girls: Maddisyn Tylr & Layla-Mei Virginia
My Baby Boy: Noah Aotearoa
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mamawendz
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Posted: 14 December 2007 at 4:33pm |
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Ooh Hi Kelly! How have you been? Awww how is little Ashleigh?
Thanks so much for your congrats, and nope its another surprise for us. It takes all my strength to say "No Thank you" when we are at ultrasounds. haha
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mama_wendz
My Girls: Maddisyn Tylr & Layla-Mei Virginia
My Baby Boy: Noah Aotearoa
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FionaS
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Posted: 14 December 2007 at 4:45pm |
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Macgee! But wasn't he the youngest boy??? Yes, I lived around the corner from them and used to spend a lot of time playing with the girls when I was a kid. My Mum is really good friends with Macs parents and even stayed in their house for a bit while she was looking to buy.
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Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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mamawendz
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 14 December 2007 at 4:53pm |
Haha yes thats the one! The youngest of them all is Victoria who is 18 now. 
I will have to mention you to him and the girls. His parents & Krizia still live there (out the back) and rent the house out as they are all over the country at the moment working with different Churches.
You little girl is gorgeous by the way.
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mama_wendz
My Girls: Maddisyn Tylr & Layla-Mei Virginia
My Baby Boy: Noah Aotearoa
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FionaS
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Posted: 14 December 2007 at 5:04pm |
Oh now I feel old...I'm 27 :)
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busymum
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Posted: 15 December 2007 at 8:12am |
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I think what you're doing with time out sounds good. But I wonder if she only hits bigger kids (hence not much trouble with DC?) when she feels like her property is under threat. I think you need to look into that kind of thing to help her feel secure. Maybe specific items that are only for her?
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fairsk8
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Posted: 16 December 2007 at 8:22pm |
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My thinking(only my thinking) in regards to smacking is that children hit out of frustration and not being able to communicate how they are feeling or what they are feeling. That is why I do not believe in time out, but with our son we use words instead. We get down on his level and say 'stop, we do not hit the people we love, it makes them sad.' Then we make him apologise to the person he has hit, and suggest or take him to play away from them.
This is what works for us and I am not saying time out is wrong. For us though it does not work.
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mamawendz
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Posted: 18 December 2007 at 11:32am |
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Thank you fairsk8, I appreciate all opinions.
I'm not sure if our daughter is hitting out of frustration though? Perhaps sometimes she is?
At the moment, whenever she hits anyone, we always say to her "No hitting Layla-Mei, you need to be gentle", then she is told to apologise.
If she does it again, that is when she is put into "time out" for a minute or two.
It usually ends there, but it was happening often which I was concerned about.
Thankfully she seems to have calmed down a bit over the weekend and isn't hitting as often which is great.
Hopefully if we stick to that same routine she will learn it isn't acceptable?
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mama_wendz
My Girls: Maddisyn Tylr & Layla-Mei Virginia
My Baby Boy: Noah Aotearoa
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Toddlers Smacking Others