Dealing with the guilt
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Category: Pregnant
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=46850
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Topic: Dealing with the guilt
Posted By: Sarah237137
Subject: Dealing with the guilt
Date Posted: 08 March 2019 at 6:29pm
I couldn’t be more angry with myself. I am in a relationship and have been for a few years, however we have been going through some tough times I never had doubts we would be fine and get through it and he would be the one I married and had kids with - we are engaged.
I was told at a young age due to health issues I may not ever get pregnant and I’ve had unprotected sex on occasion with my partner and not gotten pregnant but this could just be due to timing. He’s been tested and his sperm are good.
But I stupidly got very drunk and slept with someone else once and even stupider we didn’t use protection - I have no feelings for this person and believe it or not I really do love my partner. So I went and got the ECP because even though I have always wanted kids I didn’t want one this way.
Fast forward and I’ve just been for my first scan and I’m 5-6 weeks according to size of the sack, going back for another in 2 weeks.
The guilt of the cheating and the baby maybe not being my partners is eating me up inside and so it should I hate myself for what I have done and cannot believe I messed up this bad. But due to the situation it’s meant I haven’t been able to tell anyone, not my friend, family, parents, work etc. and it’s so difficult dealing with it on my own.
I’m looking at getting CVS done which will be able to tell me if the baby has my partners DNA or not.
I know I’ll most likely get a lot of hate for posting this but I just needed to tell my story as I can’t tell anyone around me and it’s killing me.
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Replies:
Posted By: AngieBaby
Date Posted: 14 March 2019 at 11:31am
Hi Sarah,
This is a tricky situation for you to be in.
I do feel for you and understand this can be very stressful for you.
It it helps in anyway, the one thing I love that my mother taught me was if I make a 'mess' I need to clean it up with all involved. Taking responsibility for my actions. I totally understand that this is a really hard thing to do in this instance, (it has been for me also in many instances I've had in my lifetime) but ultimately, it's been the right thing to do and it removes guilt and done right - potentially regret as well.
There are always consequences to our actions/choices and this is where we learn and become adults in our behaviour and response. This will be painful for your fiance as well.
Brene Brown is an amazing author on vulnerability and relationships these video's may be of help:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0&t=1s" rel="nofollow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0&t=1s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o" rel="nofollow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf5zCV8xEPw" rel="nofollow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf5zCV8xEPw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-JXOnFOXQk&list=PL6StD5HhGmVVM4Goruc-rFusfG140VJ-x" rel="nofollow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-JXOnFOXQk&list=PL6StD5HhGmVVM4Goruc-rFusfG140VJ-x
You can do this and you will get through, it will hurt, and you can do this well.
take care
xx
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Posted By: Antonio265481
Date Posted: 22 November 2020 at 5:24pm
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