Second IVF baby attempts... when to stop?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Coping with infertility
Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=43167
Printed Date: 05 May 2025 at 2:09pm
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Topic: Second IVF baby attempts... when to stop?
Posted By: Bambino
Subject: Second IVF baby attempts... when to stop?
Date Posted: 27 March 2013 at 12:24pm
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My DH has MFI and we conceived DD through ICSI a couple of years ago (privately) – very lucky to conceive first time on long cycle. No frosties. Two subsequent attempts on the short cycle (IVF/ICSI) have failed (one miscarriage, one failed to implant) and we never ever get any to freeze. Now we can’t afford another cycle. I am 36, have decreased ovarian reserve and am on the waiting list for a public treatment – by which time I will be another year older decreasing the chance of success. We simply can’t afford another private cycle. I feel so guilty that DD may not have a sibling – even though rationally I know that isn’t the end of the world. And now I am wondering if I hang in, get really healthy, put off all the questions and do the public treatment next year … or, do I accept that three person families can be awesome and I have a good cry before getting rid of all the lovingly stored baby paraphernalia? The idea of another failed cycle really galls me … but I also kind of want the Govt to fund at least one for me! I know so well that we are lucky to have even had the chance to have one … so my sincere apologies to everyone out there who isn’t as lucky as we were the first time. My heart goes out to you. How do you know when enough is enough? |
Replies:
Posted By: quirkygirl
Date Posted: 31 March 2013 at 9:52am
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We are just about to start our first cycle of ICSI and already in my mind there is that small voice asking "how much is enough?". We think 2 cycles but if we get to the end of those and haven't conceived then who knows. I don't qualify for public treatment but I would definitely hang in there for it if I did! I think your idea about waiting and getting healthy etc is a good one. And enjoy your family all the time and an extra child will just be an added bonus :) |
Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 02 April 2013 at 3:14pm
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Hi there We have been trying for 5 years for #2 and have just finished our 7th unsuccessful IVF cycle with ICSI/PGD and we have made the very hard decision to stop. I produce a lot of eggs but none have implanted. DD was concieved naturally first time then I had 4 m/c and because of that and my age decided to go onto IVF. Its hard to answer the question when enough is enough but you and DH will know. For us it was the emotional and physical toll it was taking and financially it was all just getting too much. Like you, we are blessed to have a child and as much as we would have loved to give her a sibiling and to have had a house full of kids we know how lucky we are to have her and my heart breaks for all those people that have to make this same call and don't have any kids. Good luck with your decision and journey. -------------  DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: Hopeful75116590
Date Posted: 16 May 2013 at 1:45am
Getting healthy feels so good I started my journey with this 4 years ago pre wedding I started off going walking for an hour on the flat then progressed to hills then progressed to 2 hour track on a steep hill through native bush and now go running every 2nd day. Trust me it was hard at first as I was so unfit but I watched kids go for a run the other day they run until they are puffed walk catch their breath for 5 metres or so then run again and repeat. I thought hey I can do that hubby is running 20 km now at a good pace has lost 30kg so proud of him definitely helped his reproductive health made a huge difference he also quit smoking and so did I. Now I feel the best I have since I was 18 I feel younger look younger and have a lot more energy and a lot less stress nothing makes me feel better after a really bad emotional day and we all have those.... shame there is one part of my that just keeps getting older instead of younger have wished more than once that I could turn back time or took that pregnancy test 4 years ago so therefore knew I was pregnant and didn't lose that baby.... unfortunately had light bleeding no symptoms didn't even know then did far too much heavy lifting at work as the guy who usually did it was off sick that baby would have had it's 3rd birthday at easter this year  and I have not managed to get pregnant since no Dr will believe I cannot conceive as a result one friend has had 2 children in the time it's taken me to have none and now my youngest brother is having a baby why is life so damn unfair
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