2nd/3rd/4th time ... what would you do different
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Topic: 2nd/3rd/4th time ... what would you do different
Posted By: Séraphine
Subject: 2nd/3rd/4th time ... what would you do different
Date Posted: 25 December 2012 at 4:41pm
Merry Christmas! for the record I'm stuck at work so thought I'd peruse here  I *might* be UTD with #2 and DD1 would be 3 when next one arrives. My DD1 is just over 2 and I purposely went into parenting blind, I didn't read too much information past pregnancy and labour. The thing that happened though was I completly unprepared for alot of things, I had no idea how hard BFing would be, brought all totally the wrong clothes, my MW sent DH out shopping to buy some clothes for her! I'm nervous about having such a hard time BFing again, I expressed for 12 weeks as DD was a little premmie and couldn't latch, plus I had no idea what I was doing. I know I'd be far more prepared for what things I would need for baby, the right clothes (warm enough), loads of muslin wipes etc. I felt like I stuffed up alot of things the first time, I was a nervous wreck and I think I ended up with a bit of PND, although I battled through without any formal support. I know with an active toddler around I can't afford to be sitting in the corner crying, I guess I'm just getting my head around it all. What would you do different now that you know what you know? Any advice appreciated  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Replies:
Posted By: TeacherLady
Date Posted: 25 December 2012 at 9:36pm
Congrats if you are UTD tiger-lily!  As you know from the other thread I am only having one baby, but wanted to share a few things- I am pleased with a few things I did when UTD with DS and giving birth that I WOULDN'T do differently: - Going as long as I could before giving birth to him, despite the hosp saying that induction was best (my MW was on my side)- DS was 16 days late and the hosp was getting titchy... - No pain relief during the birth What would I do differently? - Not buy so many newborn clothes! Even though I only bought a few Fergus grew SO fast! - Trust my mother's intuition more and belief that what DH and I are doing is right- esp in those first few days when you really have no idea what this new baby is like! - Be proud of myself more often in the early days and truly reflect on the AMAZING thing that I have done, rather than doubt myself I'm only a mother of one- and he is only nearly 3 months old- you are more experienced than me, so who knows, I might not even have shared anything new! But wanted to reply rather than read and run  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Séraphine
Date Posted: 25 December 2012 at 10:23pm
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Thank you TL I think you're right though, be more trusting of your instincts rather than doubting, we spent 2 weeks in NICU, I ended up terrified to go home! I didn't want to leave! Depending on how you look at it, at least we've got some prem clothes if we need them, DD didn't fit her 0-3 clothes until she was around 4-5 months old, so FX we have another girl, or we might have a very pretty boy ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 26 December 2012 at 12:19am
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I would definitely relay your fears to your midwife, they are your advocate & major information source up to 6 weeks PP. Ask to be put onto a lactation consultant so they help you when the time comes, and no one really knows what they're doing that first time. Bfing is very much a learned thing. 3rd time around I bought the wrong clothes! End of march is really cold lol What I did differently with #3 apart from a homebirth! was to manage the whole third stage naturally & let her do things in her own time. And to reassure you, I've had a 3 year gap this time & it's been great, he goes to kindy so I had some baby & me time ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 26 December 2012 at 8:17pm
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I have two, and while I was pretty happy with how the first year with #1 went, I was much more aware of how fleeting everything is the second time round. E.g. Baby catnapping? I knew that after a very short year she was unlikely to be, and didn't waste any energy or stress on trying to resettle her for longer sleeps. One thing that I did the first time and was keen to repeat the second time was deciding that babies are babies for such a short time, and I was going to do what worked for us as far as the 'other' things in life that we did. For us, it's easier to take it easy and ease back on the social life for the first year. For others it might be best to get baby to fit in with their plans... I firmly believe that neither's wrong butyou'll be a lot happier if you do what works for you. -------------   
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