2 or more under 2years
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Topic: 2 or more under 2years
Posted By: KelzF09
Subject: 2 or more under 2years
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 11:03am
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Hi all, I am pregnant with my 2nd bubs and the gap will b 19 months
I am starting this topic to get hints/tips on things others have learnt having 2 or more under the age of 2. What did u find the hardest etc alll views and opinions welcome ------------- Proud Mum of Ella 3yrs and Noah 20months http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 1:02pm
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I have 18 months between my two, and my one piece of advice would be to get lots and lots of help when bub is born! I found it really hard work, my toddler was/is full on and at that age they are still babies themselves really. He loved his sister and has always been very good with her, but got frustrated very easily when I had to spend time feeding/settling her.
Have lots of family/toddler friendly meals in the freezer and pantry. Do your supermarket shopping online if possible. Ditto with fruit and veg. Actually buy everything you can online. Keep to the toddler's routine as much as you can, and make sure they keep going to all the same activities they used to. A double buggy is a MUST (for me anyway)- I like to walk a lot as getting a baby and toddler into a car can sometimes be fraught and it's good for when everyone looses it. I used to bundle two screaming kids into the buggy and go for a nice walk to calm everyone down. Good luck! It's blimmin hard work at first, but it def gets better and it's so cool watching your two kids having fun together making each other laugh. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BessieBear
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 2:30pm
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I had a few days off 20 months. Make up a box of new toys and games and food for when your feeding. it will be the special box for when mummy is busy with the baby. ------------- Sarah Mum to, Boy 07/2008, Girl 03/2010, Boy 05/2012, Angel  07/08/2014
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Posted By: KelzF09
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 3:55pm
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Thanks for the tips, going to get double attachment for my buggy.
They will end up sharing a room once bubs is out of bassinett. Was thinking of getting DD a doll and accesorries of her own so she feels like she is doing what mummy is with her baby. which will b given when bubs arrives ------------- Proud Mum of Ella 3yrs and Noah 20months http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 4:05pm
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I have exactly 23 mths between my 2. DS spent two weeks with their father (we are not together anymore) so I was able to use that time to adjust to a newborn again. Still found it hard for a while once DS got back. I have found that it really pays to be as organised as possible for things. For example if we are going to be going out in the morning then I make sure the nappy bag is packed e.t.c the evening before. DS goes to kindy 2 mornings a week so I normally use that time to do my shopping. Also my mum has DS one night during the weekend and now that DD is older mum has both of them sometimes so that I can go shopping by myself if I want. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: squoggs
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 4:38pm
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Interesting reading, we will have 16-17 month gap - in 3 wks time. Its fair to say its really just dawning on me, and I am starting to get a bit nervous!
Let me know how you get on with a baby doll kelz86, i have been looking for one, but they are all so creepy. Think its impt over summer that we get one that will cope with a bath/paddling pool dunking too! Almost considering flagging the doll idea, and just getting a really cool toy to distract her with! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 5:00pm
Valium. AD's. A Nanny. A housekeeper. A Wife. 
lol just kidding (kind of). I second everything SpecialK said. Lot's of meals prepared, lots of help if you can get it, lower your expectations of what you'll achieve in a day to well, nothing (other than keeping the kids alive) and you'll be fine. An 18 month gap for me has been very hard, very stressful but now I can see how awesome it's going to be!   It's so lovely seeing the girls really starting to play together and the baby starting to stand up for herself LMAO  -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 5:03pm
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Interesting reading! If I go full term then I will have 16mths between #2 & 3. I also have a 5yo so will be doing school runs and afterschool activities. EEKKKK!!!!!!!! ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 7:34pm
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I had 21 mnths between. I third tne having meals in the freezer, lr easy to make meals.
I found that getting dd to help me helped a lot. She'd get nappies/wipes. Help change nappies. She would help wash him in tne bath and pick his clothes. It helped her feel more involved. I do what Flutterby does too. I get everything ready the night before soin the morning it's just a matter of getting dressed and leaving. Nap when when you can too. It's hard work in the beginning but a close age gap is great. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Stoked
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 7:39pm
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Great thread idea Kelz.
Squoggs and KH25 could you please come back and update after your bub's arrive - if you have time that is! I'll also end up with a 16-17 month age gap...  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: squoggs
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 8:03pm
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a bit off-topic, but my mum had 4 under 5, with roughly 18-24 months between each of us, so I have been picking her brain a bit. Back in those days things were in some ways a lot easier though, as everything was community based and within walking distance. She said it was busy, but having strict boundaries, routines & not putting up with any nonsense meant she didn't have to worry too much with the older kids while tied up with the younger ones. I (being the eldest) was able to change the youngest's nappies (old school cloth!) and I even toilet trained 2 of them - can't remember it though. Mum reckons giving the older kids responsibilities and jobs to help out def makes it easier, plus keeps them busy. Funnily enough, she said the first 2 babies were a bit of a blur! I keep asking about things such as jealousy etc, and she just can't remember
We had a fantastic, fun and happy childhood though, all being so close in age meant that we all played together a lot - and this is why my husband and I are keen (although maybe slightly mad) to have 3ish kids in quick succession. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 8:34pm
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Kelz the doll idea worked really well for us, plus as others have said having other people around to pay lots of attention to your toddler really helps.
I found the hardest after the first few weeks when everyone figures you should be fine and then you end up having the 2 of them wanting your attention at the same time. Squoggs our 2 are 16mths and a bit apart, we found our doll at kmart, its bathable and comes with a nappy/cover and some clothes. And also agree, toddlers love to be involved, so it seems to be a choice between having a permanent crying clinging toddler who wants your attention or asking her to help and her being really helpful and happy. (Not sure if thats just my girl rather than in general though) Thats all I can think about atm. But feel free to ask more if I can come next week. ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: NZ-rules
Date Posted: 18 October 2011 at 8:59pm
I'll be watching this thread with interest! 20 month gap here and I have a real mummy's boy who shows major jealousy if I so much as pick up another kid... he even got jealous at the cat sitting on my knee last night... eeek  ------------- 
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Posted By: notenufchaos
Date Posted: 19 October 2011 at 9:41am
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haha Amy Katie is so doing that at the moment even if i give Lucy a cuddle she tries to push her off and says 'Mine' and the cat is in no way allowed on my knee.
back on topic, lol i have a 20 month gap between my two dd's and have been super super lucky and havnt really found it hard at all, we got DD1 a baby born doll for her baby. we also involved DD1 a lot she got to help bath and give lots of cuddles, i think it helped that she was at every midwife visit scan etc.. and was also there for the birth. i am not an organised person at all so didnt have frozen meals etc.. BUT Dh took two weeks off work and so he did all the housework stuff while i focused on the girls. now at 3 yrs 4 months and 20 months they are the best of friends and i just love the way they play together. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 1-25/05/2008 DD 2-2/2/2010 |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 19 October 2011 at 11:28am
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I had 20-ish months between my first 2. I'm grateful that my eldest boy is the type that likes to help and be involved with things. He's growing up to be quite a responsible little boy. There are some great tips in this thread espcially about being as organised as you can and I also agree with frozen meals. It was great knowing I just had to heat something up and do some veges rather than having to plan and think about an entire meal.
There is a slightly bigger age gap between 2 & 3 (27 months) and it was good that DD was old enough to be a little independent and also had DS1 to play with. I'm a little worried about the age-gap between my youngest and this bub (18-ish months) as DS2 looks like he may get a bit jealous. Whenever I cuddle the older kids, he always tries to push them out of the way. What I've taken to doing though is to tell him to be nice, then include him in the cuddle too. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 19 October 2011 at 12:05pm
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I was reading this thread for tips for me too!
I've just had my 2nd and they're 20 months apart. I have been surprised that I've had no real problems apart from when the toddler was sick and I definitely needed help then. And occasionally she's all clingy and trying to cuddle her whilst BF'g the new one is a little tricky! Lots of good tips in here though and yep, getting meals sorted is the biggest challenge here too. So having some help there or having preprepared stuff you can re-heat is really handy. But as for toddler entertainment then I'd also say if you have an iPad then get some kids apps on there (even free ones). I was stunned at how quickly Kiara worked out how to use it and it's the one I use if she's getting a bit stroppy. She LOVES it. No signs of jealousy which has surprised me since she used to get jealous if she was sitting on Dad's lap and I came to share the cuddle. But in fact she wants to spend time with the new baby so I let her be involved as much as she wants (passing me nappies when I'm changing him etc). And I really make sure I don't get overprotective of the baby because I thought if I tell her to go away etc every time she went near him she might get resentful. The other thing I do is make sure I still spend some 1 on 1 time with the toddler. Eg We still go to swimming together and to Mainly Music and I leave baby with my MIL so it's just the 2 of us. I also still always make sure I can do her bedtime stories with her even if they're a bit earlier or later than usual to fit around BF'g baby. Oh and I have baby in a carrier (Moby at the moment then Manduca once he's a bit bigger) and toddler in the pram when we go out. I couldn't afford a double pram and actually the carrier works better for me anyway. But so far (6 weeks) this age gap hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought it would be. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: KelzF09
Date Posted: 19 October 2011 at 1:26pm
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Wow some great tips etc here, thank you all for taking the time to comment.
Thanks suz no doubt as things get further along i will come up with more questions to ask u. was thinking to start using moby with bubs so E can still use stroller is a good idea, depends what weather is like to being due at start of winter. Glad to know there is only one june bug in there and not twins though as i dont know if i would have coped. scan has put me back a few days but will wait to see what midwife says as E was a small bubba. ------------- Proud Mum of Ella 3yrs and Noah 20months http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 19 October 2011 at 1:32pm
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I had 21months between 2 and 3,my eldest was 8 so while she was helpful (when it suited her I might add) I was also dealing with school pick ups and drop offs and what not.
Get as much help and support as you can Expect that somedays you aren't going to be able to be supermum,and thats ok. Have a mantra that your goal each day is to get the kids and you through it relatively unharmed, don't feel guilty if your house isn't spotless or if sometimes you spend most of the day watching movies and reading stories with your toddler cos you don't have the energy to run around with them,they WON'T remember and it wont do them any long term damage. And remember it DOES get better,eventually...or so I've heard :-P ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 19 October 2011 at 1:36pm
Yep, totally agree. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
TheKelly wrote:Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 19 October 2011 at 2:06pm
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^^ Agree too! ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: vixgirl
Date Posted: 20 October 2011 at 9:41am
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Great read, I'll have 17 months between my two... Thanks for your suggestions ladies! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 20 October 2011 at 2:22pm
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I absolutely agree with not feeling guilty or bad when you have one of those days where your toddler watches a bit too much TV - it's not only ok, but sometimes necessary!! Mr Bean was my saving grace on many an occasion.
I have 15.5 mths between my two and I love the gap. We were very lucky in that we had a few weeks of jealousy in the beginning (though nothing major, just a few tantrums when I couldn't play when DD was feeding) but now DS LOVES DD and brings her toys, gives her loads of kisses and cuddles, loves to rub her head and tickle her. They play so well together, DD is besotted with DS and just stares and smiles and laughs at his antics. The box of toys when feeding just didn't work for DS, I think he was too young or just didn't take any interest - he just wanted my attention. I got very good at feeding and walking, feeding and playing etc. Though he did love stickers so I got heaps of packets and would give him stickers and a book to stick/unstick them in when I was feeding. A double pram or a pram and a carrier is also a must have for us. Getting your toddler to help is great too, DS was just getting into the helping stage so I would ask him to get me a nappy or DD's dummy or a blanket - he thought it was awesome
Like someone else already mentioned, keeping the toddlers routine was a must for us. We tries as much as possible to make the the baby's routine work around the toddler and not the other way around. Dinner was still at 5pm at the table - I would feed DD at the table if need be, that kind of thing. Also if you are going to change your toddler into a big bed then I'd do it either a while before they baby arrives or a while after - we put DS in a big bed two weeks ago and moved the cot out of his room a few days later. It was a little difficult in the beginning so I'm glad I didn't try it earlier. Another great part of having them so close is that nearly every day I manage to get them both down for a nap at the same time (like now ) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mumoftwins
Date Posted: 20 October 2011 at 3:47pm
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I had 3 under 22mths. I haven't read every post, so sorry if I repeat anything! Frozen meals and baking (muffins, scones etc so YOU have something quick to grab and eat!!) Put a load of washing on at night so it is ready to hang in the morning, prepare a snack box for your toddler to help themselves to while you are busy with baby, have a special box for feeding time...a new book, DVD, activity that your toddler can do while you are feeding. Set up a chores chart for yourself! Spread the housework out over the week instead of trying to do too much in one day! I use to give myself until lunchtime to get any housework done...if I hadn't (and it wasn't important) it had to wait until the next day!
Don't refuse anyones offer of help! If someone visits and says is there anything they can d0...give them some washing to fold, the vacuum, or get them to watch your toddler while you shower! Don't put to much pressure on yourself....having kids close in age can be hardwork and tiring ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 20 October 2011 at 8:12pm
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17 mo between nine
My advice is don't be afraid to ask for help, I found it great if someone could come and take the toddler out for even an hour or 2 just so I could have a break with the baby. I found it easier to just stay at home, still going for walks and that but not Having to be somewhere in those first few months was so much easier, and we could spend the day in our jamies if I wanted to. And also it meant that we weren't picking up illnesses all the time. I put a baby gate on the babies room so DS1 couldn't go in there and annoy him, and it was a good place to give a baby time out away from touchy feely sibling. We used a playpen but there was a lot of throwing of toys at the baby from the outside. I look at DS2 and can't believe I had another at his age. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: boys.boys.boys.boys
Date Posted: 21 October 2011 at 8:10am
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19 months between my two, very very little family/friends help and DH went back to work long-hours the day DS2 was born (the joys of being self-employed)...
And I'm just going to buck the trend and say that I found the first 6 months far easier than when DS2 was 8ish months-1.5years ish!! DS1 wasnt jealous until DS2 could take his toys and move!! But I did get very good at walking/cooking/playing/bathing etc and feeding DS2, infact, I think there was only at night that I was staying still and feeding!! And DS2 survived fine! I really really like the vibrating bouncers, during that horrible time of cooking tea, I could put DS2 in it on the bench in the kitchen with me, and it meant I could see him while cooking, and DS1 could play without having to think about DS2.... We didnt have any issues with jealousy in the first months, infact DS1 hardly acknowledged DS2! But I did also try not to be protective at all with DS2, if DS1 wanted to talk to him 2cm from his face fine, or tickle him, wash him in the bath etc etc... The second babies from my experiance and talking to everyone is tend to be pretty easy-going and put up with things. I supose they have to just go along with the flow!! The small gaps are fantastic in my opinion (especially same-sex!), they play together so jolly well now, I hardly get to join in, (maybe that makes them not good though!!!). It is very very funny listening and watching their games! ------------- 4 boys!! 7 years, 5 years, 2 years and 8 weeks... |
Posted By: Stoked
Date Posted: 01 December 2011 at 7:35pm
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Bump!
Anyone have anything else to add? How are things going Squoggs? (Actually, I guess you may not have time to look on here!) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: rorylex
Date Posted: 02 December 2011 at 10:55am
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I have 13mths between my olders 2 and 19mths between my younger 2, there is 23mths between the prs.
Im going to go with the 1st 2 as 3 and 4 really werent that difficult. I found the hardest adjustment was getting use to getting 2 in and out of the car and the supermarket. shopping with a new baby alone is a new adjustment now add a toddler who needs entertaining. I found for this either leaving baby at home with Dh or someone you trust with baby for an hr and take just the toddler(for some one on one while you do the groceries) or if that is not possible then have a sling or wrap, I found the sling carry was best i could feed baby and carry on with groceries at the sametime. under 2's usually still have a day sleep so work out b4 your go into the store if they may fall asleep so you can choose your trolley wisely. at home I didnt find there was too many problems, my boys have all been pretty independant so I didnt have problems with feeding with a toddler around. but sometimes a toddler will choose feeding time to test some boundries, I was adviced to not ignore it and if ds1 was doing something while I was feeding ds2 then to put ds2 down and see to ds1 so he would learn that just coz im feeding ds2 does not mean it is time to misbehave coz im too busy to pull him up for it. sleep for ourselves is proberbly the most important one, what we did was dh would go get ds2 if he woke(if baby wasnt in our room already) and bring him to me and I would feed him. it meant I only had to half wake to feed him and didnt have to get up, dh would have to get up but he got to go straight back to sleep. If ds1 has any sleep problems maybe look at tackling them before baby comes along, life can be easier if only one is waking at night. I find a good evening routine even if you dont have one during the day is great. getting out during the day can do wounderd just a walk to the park, I find this done in the early evening can tire the toddler out and make the evening routine even better as they wont be fighting sleep so much. frozen meals is great especially for whitching hr and growth spurts. ------------- Mummy to 4 boys Samuel - 18.6.05 Rory - 15.7.06 Mason - 13.06.08 Emmett - 24.01.10 Baby #5 - cooking |