Finding out
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40480
Printed Date: 05 August 2025 at 6:15pm
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Topic: Finding out
Posted By: KC82
Subject: Finding out
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 1:26pm
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I'm currently at the "deciding whether or not to Find Out" stage (16 weeks). Most people I know (of my generation) have found out, especially with first babies, so I'm interested in the experiences of mums out there who went the surprise route first time round. Was the "it's a [x]" moment amazing? Will you do the same thing next time?
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Replies:
Posted By: minipig
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 1:43pm
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Not much help because I haven't been there just yet...
I always thought I would want a surprise but now that I'm actaully UTD I've changed my mind and want to find out. Looking forward to being able to call the baby him or her rather than "it"  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: CrazyCass
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 1:48pm
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I initally wanted a surprise but DH was desperate to find out, so got the scanning person to tell him while I was in the loo (they wouldnt write it on a bit of paper for us to open at a later point for some reason)
Once DH found out he knew I has basically assumed we were having a girl - namely because I have 8 nieces & 4 sisters.... and knew I would be slightly disapointed with a boy, so he harassed me to let him tell me the gender, which was good cause I worked through my 'issues'. BUT we've kept it quiet and NONE of the family know the gender (to be honest most dont even know we know cause they were so rude about us wanting a surprise it blew me away!) If you are honestly not fuessed then go for it, a mate said it made her anticipate the end of the labour process a little more, but not much. She remembered asking with the second 'what flavour' even though she already knew it was a girl! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: rorylex
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 1:48pm
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i have found out with all 4 boys, the 1st I found out for the novelty and i was too excited to wait til birth also to get clothes etc sorted.
with the last 3 I found out again coz i was too excited to wait. we(I) have decided we wont find out next time as chances are it will be another boy and if it is a girl id rather find out when she is born. we have enough unisex clothes and the baby room is unisex so no need to organise anything. i do wonder if i will be able to hold out til birth lol. ------------- Mummy to 4 boys Samuel - 18.6.05 Rory - 15.7.06 Mason - 13.06.08 Emmett - 24.01.10 Baby #5 - cooking |
Posted By: vixgirl
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 1:51pm
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Loved not knowing the sex first time, I think having a baby is an amazing experience whether you know sex or not, it just adds a wee bit more of a surprise. We are finding out this tine cause DP wants to. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 1:54pm
We didn't find out either time, for me I just love that whole 'what is it?' at the end  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 2:23pm
| Loved knowing the sex the first time but didnt the second time and glad we didnt- was so much better. But knowing the sex the first time helped me to feel more prepared. |
Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 3:07pm
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Didn't know the first time and won't find out when we get pregnant again... It was so much more exciting for us when DS born and for everyone else when we told them.
I didn't mind not knowing whether I had a boy or girl in there...it was all part of the fun. In terms of it being 'amazing', it wasn't really, but that's because DS had issues with his breathing and was whisked away before I really got a chance to see him. I always had a 'feeling' he was a boy...when I thought about having a baby girl it just didn't seem right. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 3:13pm
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We chose to find out if we could. DP wanted a surprise and I wanted to know so we compromised with if they can tell us the gender then we'll find out... If not we'll wait BUT in saying that next time I want a surprise. It was nice knowing and nice to sit and think 'My daughter' etc but a surprise would be nice and have fun guessing etc! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 3:31pm
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didn't find out either time. I loved that DH got to be the one to tell me "it's a little girl!" ------------- |
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 4:13pm
Same here, Catisla  -------------   
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Posted By: shellgirl
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 4:32pm
We didn't find out either and I loved the surprise. I did upset DH though as I looked down and went, 'it's a boy' before he had a chance to tell me .
We probably wont find out again this time. (although I kind of want to know if it is a girl so I can make some girly things..) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 5:29pm
I've found out with all my babies (I'm just too impatient to wait lol!). I have to say seeing my babies for the very first time, holding them and discovering them was a pretty amazing experience in itself. I don't know whether knowing or not knowing their sex prior could have changed that at all  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 5:35pm
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I couldn't find out with the 1st and found out with the second,
TBH it was crazy that an actual baby came out, so I don't think not knowing the sex added to that, In fact I actually forgot to ask I was so shattered from the birth. I like knowing because it helps me bond a bit more before the baby comes. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: millemama
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 6:42pm
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I found out both times, and who says its not a surprise!, just a surprise a little earlier, its still a wonderful joyous thing to find out whatever the stage. Like JoJames, it helped us to bond earlier with out little dots, and we named both ours months in advance of the birth. I think birth in itself is a beautiful surprise. Also on a practical level, it definitely helped me be prepared clothes wise, I didn't want everything to be neutral coloured. ------------- http://daisypath.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 6:59pm
I found out both times, and agree with Milliemama; it is a surprise, just an earlier one. In my case, both times I was a bit worried I'd be disappointed if I didn't get the gender I kind of wanted, and I'd rather get that out of my system ahead of time if need be (surprisingly enough, I didn't get the gender I'd kind of been hoping for both times, and got used to it very quickly the first time and wasn't even at all disappointed the second time, turns out I was over the moon it was a girl  )
Now we have one of each (provided that they were right about this one!!), I would probably wait till the birth if we have a third. But if I could go back, I'd still find out for the first and second. With the third, in my case, it feels a bit different already having one of each and also having the clothes etc for both a boy or a girl (again, provided they're right). -------------   
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Posted By: LivMcD
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 7:07pm
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Agree with Hopes, I got the most amazing suprise I cryed, it just wasnt at the birth, it was at the ultrasound. The birth is such a rollercoaster of emotions anyway that I was glad I was prepared to know what she was. Plus I would had to refer to the baby in my belly as "it". I was able to call her Tinka from 19 weeks, I felt like I already knew her :) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: LivMcD
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 7:08pm
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Meant to say HATE calling my baby "it" ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Tyrbear
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 8:21pm
Find out Piwa I can't wait another 24 weeks  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: naysgirl
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 9:12pm
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I had no urge to find out first time around and won't find out this time either. I really like the idea of waiting until the end and I always remember my mum saying "you don't get many suprises in life". Luckily my DH feels the same. And it was exciting to be able to announce to everyone once he was here that we had a son. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lillybetts
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 9:42pm
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We didn't find out the sex - only because hubby wanted it a surprise and he promised me next baby we could find out.
So I went through a very long and hard labour - which ended in an emergency CS. Up until the labour started I wanted to know the sex. I even begged hubby all the time to let me ring them and ask, but he stuck to his guns. But when they pulled her out and told me it was a girl, i couldn't have been happier. I'm so glad I waited. It made it easier and more exciting and it made me more determined to go a bit further when I was pushing. So for us it worked to not know. Next time I'll probably have an elective - and I want to wait again. :) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 14 September 2011 at 9:51pm
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I didnt find out for my first but I knew I having a girl ...with #2 I wanted to as I wanted to know if I needed to sell my girl clothes..which turns out I had to. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 16 September 2011 at 1:33pm
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Found out for all three,and don't regret finding out in the slightest either...but if I was to ever have another (unlikely but) then I would like a surprise,cos I really don't care what it is,I was hoping baby number 3 was a girl,and she was,and I have my boy and another girl,so I wouldn't mind either way,a surprise would be cool ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 16 September 2011 at 2:05pm
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DD1 I tried to find out but she had her legs crossed. My sister was absolutely convinced I was having a girl. Turned out she was right.
With the second two we found out. DH wanted boys both times. I was fine with either. I'm glad we found out as it gave him time to come round to the idea of a girl. His face really dropped when we found out we were having a girl,Hailey but now shes his princess. ------------- |
Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 16 September 2011 at 2:27pm
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i found out with #1 as we both really wanted a girl and i wanted to go crazy on the nursery with pink if i could lol...dont regret it at all as we named her as soon as we knew she was a she and so we got to talk to "charlotte" instead of "it" or "baby" which i think helped my bond especially after an emergency CS. I also felt more prepared with it being my first and im too impatient to wait. I also thought that if it was a boy, id be happy but itd be a lil gutting as well so wanted to get that silly feeling out of the way before meeting the baby...as everyones said, its stil a suprise just you get the answer at 20weeks instead of 40...well probably find out with #2 aswell -------------    CHEM 6/12+ |
Posted By: babydoll09
Date Posted: 18 September 2011 at 4:55pm
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Good luck with the discussion piwa!
I had mine last week and we didn't find out, the radiographer did show my MIL the 'parts' to take a look at but me and DH held hands over each others eyes. Later on that day/night i kinda wanted to ring her and ask what 'it' is, but by the next day i was so happy to be keeping it a surprise. MIL is swore to secrecy and i'm really happy someone is buying colour coordinated clothes. I would say go with what you've always wanted and try not to let the curiosity take over as a day or two later you'll probably be really happy you waited. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: E&L+1
Date Posted: 18 September 2011 at 5:05pm
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We didn't find out with #1 and haven't with #2, I'll find out in a few weeks what #2 is when they arrive. Neither of us wanted to find out with #1. This time around it was more tempting but we decided not to at the last minute.
I wanted neutral clothing etc to start so that we could use them with all our children. DD got heaps of girly things after she was born anyway. I don't call baby it. It's baby, or bub bub as DD says. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: monkey33
Date Posted: 18 September 2011 at 7:11pm
I agree with this! I found out with first and although I thought it would be a nice idea to not find out with our second, I don't think I'll be able to help myself. It is just as special finding out either way IMO. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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JoJames wrote:Posted By: Keleho
Date Posted: 18 September 2011 at 9:38pm
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We had a surprise with DD and this one is also a surprise. DH left it up to me to decide but I would hate to find out one gender and have it be the other - you would have this picture in your head and suddenly that would be taken from you.
Each to their own - I loved finding out after all that hard work ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 19 September 2011 at 12:11am
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There was no chance of them getting it wrong with my kids,the pictures were very,very clear.
My son's was so obvious that my 6 year old daughter could tell it was a boy. And my daughters.....I saw close ups of both their girl bits. When I finished giving birth,I never cared that I knew what gender the baby was,I just cared that they were here,and I never bothered checking either,I just wanted to hold them -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BessieBear
Date Posted: 19 September 2011 at 3:28pm
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I found out DS was a boy, but didn't find out what DD is, won't be finding out this time either. I liked the idea of surprise. DH got to tell me DD was a girl when she was out. I thought she was a boy the whole way through pregnency and I was wrong. So it was a good surprise, I did secretly want a girl more. ------------- Sarah Mum to, Boy 07/2008, Girl 03/2010, Boy 05/2012, Angel  07/08/2014
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 19 September 2011 at 3:33pm
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OT - Congrats Bessiebear!!! ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: BessieBear
Date Posted: 20 September 2011 at 1:23pm
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Haha, Thanks-you. ------------- Sarah Mum to, Boy 07/2008, Girl 03/2010, Boy 05/2012, Angel 07/08/2014
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