Silly feelings about number 2
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Category: Pregnant
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Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40140
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Topic: Silly feelings about number 2
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Subject: Silly feelings about number 2
Date Posted: 08 August 2011 at 7:53pm
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Okay, I know this is silly but...
I always knew I'd love my child but it totally surprised me the depth of my love for her and how strong a bond I feel. And I am also constantly amazed at how I can wake up some days and feel like that love has grown even more over night (well, on her non-whingy days anyway  ).
So now I'm well and truly pregnant with number 2 and there's a bit of my brain that is finding it hard to believe that I could possibly have room to have such incredible feelings for another child. That little part of me is wondering if I either won't bond with the next one as much as I have with my daughter or if I will feel less for my daughter because I'm sharing those feelings between 2 kids. I KNOW this is stupid. I had a friend tell me that the love for your kids multiplies, not divides and I do believe that but I still keep wondering about it. Anyone else feel/felt like this? ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Replies:
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 08 August 2011 at 7:59pm
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If I think about it too hard then yes, I do feel like that, like I won't bond with this one because I will still have all of my love and attention focused on DD.
However then I remember I didn't think I would bond with DD, I didn't feel that huge rush of overwhelming love like 'all mothers do' but everyone tried to explain to me how that love will come and I won't believe how deep that love will be. So that's what I focus on now. I don't feel a bond with this baby, but why do I need to yet? S/he is not out, s/he will be a stranger for a while, but one day that love will come, we just have to trust the wise ones before us  -------------   
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 08 August 2011 at 8:24pm
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I had those feelings too, but I can honestly say my heart just grew a whole lot bigger just over two weeks ago when DD2 arrived and I am so in love with both my darling girls. In saying that though my relationship has changed alot with DD1 in the past two weeks, which is really hard to get my head around. She's not my "baby" anymore, but she has grown up so much in such a short time. I had very a strong bond with DD1 which I do feel I have kind of lost, but I have gained an independant and secure little girl who is a wonderful big sister to our new baby.
I love them differently, but equally if that makes sense? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: buzylizy
Date Posted: 09 August 2011 at 12:06pm
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I am feeling the same way. Preggie with no 2 and I don't know how that will affect my bond with 1. I am a little nervous about it...and he is such a little mama's boy I don't know what he will make of not being the centre of attention all of the time.
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 09 August 2011 at 12:18pm
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Felt like it with both my younger two...and the minute they were both born,they were all I was thinking of,my whole world for that time and I remember with Ty thinking that I actually "really loved him,straight away" and now,its cliche,but I love each of them in different ways,but just as much as each other,I don't love one more or less,I love Caitlyn cos shes my firstborn and we've been a team for so long,I love Ty cos hes my cuddly little boy,and I love Mila cos shes my baby.
A mum's heart doesn't have room for just one baby,it has room set aside for however many you decide to have. As for the bond with your first,if anything when my daughter became a big sister,I found I loved her even MORE,cos of the new role she had. And again when I had baby number 3,I felt even more love for my son because he was a big brother. And in regards to your child not getting all your attention,that wont do them any harm,and kids adjust,and depending on your child's age,he wont remember a time when he was the only baby anyway,I know I don't remember a time before my brother came along ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 09 August 2011 at 1:06pm
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Thanks for your input guys. Interesting the ways we've all felt something like this. I'm definitely not worried anymore about the attention thing, although that was my immediate concern on finding out I was pregnant again. I know that my daughter will cope with that and she'll probably love having company (some of the time) despite it being a big change for her initially. And yeah, I should know that my love for her won't get less - I mean it seems to have grown with time so far so why should it change just because the family is a bit bigger. Even after I typed out my feelings they sort of sorted themselves out in my head. Thanks again. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |