Argh! At wits end
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40031
Printed Date: 09 August 2025 at 8:09pm
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Topic: Argh! At wits end
Posted By: SpecialK
Subject: Argh! At wits end
Date Posted: 28 July 2011 at 11:12am
About what to do with my DS!! He is 27 months old, and lately - prob the last month or so - has been atrocious. I don't know whether this is just normal two year old stuff, but he has suddenly become naughty, hitting and pushing which he has never done before, being mean and playing rough with his baby sister - I used to be able to leave them in a room alone together, now he pushes her, sits on her, last week pushed her face into the door frame  Now he is saying no to everything, refuses dinner, we are having major dramas getting him into bed - he's had the same routine from birth pretty much and was always fine about going to bed, suddenly he is waking up early, and won't go the sleep. the last few days he cried and was generally hysterical for hours. I am finding him such hard work, and trying to do something nice with him/for him results in tears and tantrums - doesn't want to leave the park/playground, doesn't want to get in the car etc etc.
There haven't been any changes at home or at his daycare (he goes two mornings a week), although he has had a bit of a cold but nothing major... can anyone shed some light on why he might be doing this? is it normal? any tips for dealing with him? Oh, and he has been complaining of a sore face - at first pointing to where his teeth were cutting, but now they are all through and he keep clutching his cheeks and saying 'sore face'. It is a bit red and rashy but again nothing major... should I get him checked out? Thanks! Feels so good to get it all out  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 July 2011 at 1:42pm
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wont hurt to get him checked out. kids cant really tell where a pain is coming from so it could be his throat that is sore. i think it is about this age they start testing boundaries and pushing limits. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 28 July 2011 at 4:39pm
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My DD is 2.5 years and has recently started acting the same way. I thought its because i was pregnant & now because i have a newborn but i think it could just be an age thing/
She wont sleep, wont eat unless its what she wants. Dinner time is just ridculas. She goes to bed hungry most nights because i refuse to let her have biscuits for dinner. But thats her problem I constantly hear "No i dont want to" Grrrrrrrrr so sick of this age lol -------------  
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 28 July 2011 at 6:08pm
Wow SpecialK sounds like we have the same child...maybe it's a May baby thing lol 
I"d get him checked out just to be sure, but it sounds like being naughty. I can't leave Clodagh alone with Scarlett or she rides her, force feeds her and takes her nappy off. Charming really. 
Get out as much as you can, find a way of disciplining that works for you- ours is time out and giving one of Clodaghs toys to Scarlett- and then stick to your guns. And drink loads of coffee and try to rest as much as possible. I hear ya, I hear ya, I hear ya!!!  -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 28 July 2011 at 9:13pm
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It's a stage. I was about 4 months PG when DS1 was that age and remember thinking that if I hadn't already been PG, there was no way I would have chosen to have another baby. He was just horrible. He came out of it. Pick a plan - ask/tell/do, time out, whatever suits you and your parenting style and be consistent. I reckon from about 2 on, they go through these phases - lovely for a couple of months, hard work for a couple of months .... ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 28 July 2011 at 9:56pm
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Totally a stage. Gabrielle was absolutely terrible at that point and I truely wondered if it was my terrible mothering skills But she did come out of it, although not before we had some very embarassing meltdowns in very public places.
I use a combination of Nigel Latta and Dianne Levy strategies. I try very hard to make her problem her problem so for example if she doesn't eat dinner I don't comment I just tell her we have the one bite rule and no getting down till she has a bite, then send her to bed hungry. I've lost count of the amount of nights she goes to bed with no dinner but I keep my cool, she knows I mean business and she gets to experience the natural consequence of not eating what is put in front of you, which is hunger. Dianne Levy says its important to win the first 3 battles of the day. So no matter how tired or busy I am I always make extra effort on the things that happen first thing in the morning. I use the Ask Tell Act strategy - ask "please pick up your toys" then tell - go over and say "pick up your toys now", then act which for me is to pick her up and put her in her room and tell her she needs to think about doing what she is told and she can come out when she is ready to do what she is told. I don't do time out as such (its not for a specific period of time) its thinking time in that she can not come out till she is ready to do whatever I have asked. This works well for us because time out seems to wind her up something chronic and her behaviour gets worse, and she was crying and make herself hysterical. Thinking time works in that it removes her from the situation and she comes out when she is ready to be compliant. Dianne Levy said to not think of it as a punishment - its more of a way to get compliance. So it doesnt involve a power struggle which I kept getting caught up in with her. And it does get compliance, usually in under 3 minutes, and has the added bonus that neither of us yell or cry. Physical violence is a big no-no in our house so anything like that gets instant bedroom time for 2 minutes and then thinking time starts if she refuses to say sorry to the person. Hope some of that helps. Its not an easy phase but it will pass. The joy of 2 year olds! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 28 July 2011 at 10:02pm
I used to (and still sometimes say to DD) oh thats nice dear, in a really bored tone. Or oh thats no good. Or really, don't you? thats a bit sad. I used to keep myself amused by thinking up really blase responses. And sometimes I'd just point out the window and say oh look at the purple flying monkeys. Oh you didn't see them. Well thats too bad. Or just go over and give her a hug without saying anything. It would catch her right off guard and often completely difuse the tension. Keep 'em guessing Easier said than done I know but much less stress than getting wound up over it.
ETA to fix quote ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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_SMS_ wrote:Posted By: mrsm
Date Posted: 02 August 2011 at 7:30pm
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Definitely a phase, but also I would get his mouth checked out just in case.
We had this and are coming out of it now. I also found the best thing was to try not to get too worked up about it yourself. Sometimes this involves a big, deep breath and forcing a smile on your face. Day sleeps were dropped and I got "I don't want to have a nap!", she got told "that's fine you don't have to sleep but you have to stay in bed" (she would end up sleeping anyway otherwise plays in her bed for 1hr). At dinner we get "I don't want dinner", I say "that's fine" but still make it for her and put it on the table and she always ends up sitting up when we do and eating. The other thing I found great was giving her LOTS of warning that something was going to happen. If we went to the shops I would tell her what we were going to get while still in the car and constantly reinforce 'this is what we are doing then we are going home'. At the park, or in the bath she gets a 5min warning that we are going to leave, then 4,3 etc, or 2 goes down the slide. This means that things aren't a surprise and they have time to process what's happening. Ooo, and giving them choices that still get the result you want eg "do you want me to put you in the chair or do you want to do it all by yourself?", "do you want to eat a pea or a carrot?" Good luck! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 03 August 2011 at 1:05pm
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Thanks girls, all really helpful advice and I am so glad I am not the only one with a monster baby!
I did take him to the dr on monday as he started having really high temps over the weekend, and he has really bad tonsilitis which he now has abs for. AND I had a good look in his mouth and he has wicked, wicked ulcers everywhere poor wee man. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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