How do I pull myself together
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39571
Printed Date: 07 July 2025 at 2:31pm
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Topic: How do I pull myself together
Posted By: GenevieVe1234
Subject: How do I pull myself together
Date Posted: 13 June 2011 at 9:50pm
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I have just taken the medical management of miscarriage course...had my first pill on saturday came back on monday took the other three and nothing happened...three hours later took three more pills and still nothing has happened. So the doctors discharged me with orders to come straight to ed if any heavy bleeding and a d&c tommorow if nothing happens tonight.
I am on holiday visiting DH and mine's family, he had just told his mother I was pregnant when the next day the spotting started. now, I had asked MIL not to tell anyone else as did DH as I have a history of miscarriage, lo and behold we have all the aunties and uncles informed within a day. (which obviously also ment she told them about the MC) now because I am away from home, and the doctors have discharged me from the hospital, DH asked his family if it would be ok for me to wrap up and rest at their house (my fmaily house is 40 minute drive from ED and apparently i need to stay close to the hospital) his mother said no as "she does not handle these situations well" I had been staying there the previous night I might add. that hurt like hell, first she feels she can discuss my pregnancy with everyone (before congratulating/sympathising with me) then she says I am unwelcome in her house when she knows it is difficult for me to go to my family house. We are not teenagers living at home, we have our own home it just happens to be a 6 hour drive away. I also cook/clean/am very polite and always bring a gift I try to do everything under the sun to make sure i am a good house guest, i have stayed there 7 nights max over the course of 6 months and only 3 of those nights have the in laws been there! and to top it all off DH would not spend the night with me at my family home because he feels nervous... Granted, my family is horrible my mother knows all to well what is going on with me and all she said was "oh make sure you change the sheets" so here I am all alone crying my fricking eyes out over my lost baby that just wont come out scared of what is happenening and feeling like the biggest burden in the world as it is very clear that I am not wanted anywhere in my current state.. oh and to top it all off I have exams in 3 days which I cannot fathom studying for. please help me snap out of this am I being really hormonal and irrational? How can i pull myself together please!! |
Replies:
Posted By: Luckymama23
Date Posted: 14 June 2011 at 8:08am
 Sorry Buddyblueeyes, dont have any advice, but just wanted to say hugs, Cant even imagine how hard it must be for you to go through m/c with people acting like that around you. take care of yourself------------- 2 superstars too many miscarriages 2009-2014 |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 14 June 2011 at 8:30am
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Huge hugs, I can't offer any advice except hugs from someone who'd just been there, I saw your posts & thought uh oh...that sounded like me. I was lucky enough to have a complete miscarriage without intervention.
Did you have a midwife? Mine was fantastic even though all this happened before I met her. All I can say is that you need to grieve & if you can get to the exam definitely put in for impaired performance now, you can get a med cert, so maybe even put in for that one where you don't actually sit the exam, aggretat? I think it is? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 14 June 2011 at 11:17am
Oh BBE, I am so so sorry you are going through this and that some of the people in your life aren't being as supportive as they should be I agree with AandCsmum, you should be able to talk to your tutor about missing your exam due to special circumstances  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: didi99
Date Posted: 14 June 2011 at 11:51am
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I am so sorry you are going through all this MC is hard enough without all the family drama.
As mummydee and AandCsmum said definately see what you can do with regards to missing your exam, honestly in 3 days time I really can't see you being able to put your best work forward. To be honest I don't think you need to "pull yourself together" it is perfectly normal to feel over emotional and irrational right now. Your hormones are doing crazy things (and will do for a little bit I'm afraid) on top of that you have lost your precious bub and you are in a dificult situation with your families. You are so entitled to loose it a bit. I really hope you managed to find a supportive enviroment and things started to happen for you last night, if not and you ended up with the D&C today I hope you are doing OK. Look after yourself -------------  Angel Babies Nov 09, May 10, Dec 10
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 14 June 2011 at 1:50pm
Big hugs from me too.. what a horrible situation to be in  Do you have a close friend you can call for a bit of moral support? someone to stay with you? Im so sorry you are going through this------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
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Posted By: Nadia
Date Posted: 15 June 2011 at 11:42am
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buddyblueeyes When I read your post my heart went out to you and the first thing I thought was what horried familys you both have! Sorry but thats just my say. No one else can feel what your feeling right now meaning everyone feels difrently when they lose a baby and so everyone should be supportive and asking if theres anything you need not making you feel like crap.
I would also talk to your DH cause to me it dosent seem like hes being a very good one (again this is just my say) But if my DH wasent there to support me because he didn't like my relitives I would be having a very large talk to him. We lost our first baby when we tried the first time and the relitives knowing was similer to you. We told only our close family and asked that it not be told to anyone else till 12wks but the next day I had texts of congratz from everyone. Sadly it was then harder for me and DH to have to tell everyone we then lost the baby. I was lucky enough to have both me and DH familys support and caring. It sounds to me like you need someone to be there for you and to listen because I found the best thing to get through was to talk about it with someone I loved. I wish you all the best for the future and remember that even though you may feel empty and lost now you wont always! ------------- [URL=http://lilypie.com][IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/0UKrA9O.jpg][IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/0UKrp12.png][/URL] |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 15 June 2011 at 8:23pm
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I'm so sorry hun! It is hard enough without having the family support around you. Big hugs
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: catie
Date Posted: 21 June 2011 at 12:18pm
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Buddyblueeyes
I'm so sorry to read of the extremely difficult situation you've been in - hopefully the worst is over now and you're back in your own home and can take care of yourself. And as some one else said, don't worry about 'pulling yourself together' - this is one of the most stressful things that can happen to you and it's ok to 'fall apart' a bit! Everybody's grief is different, just do what you need to do to get though it. I hope you were able to get a 'spcial consideration' for your exams sorted out. I work at a university and am sure that your circumstacnes would qualify so that you wouldn't have to sit it, but the timeframe for applying is very short, usually three days. Hugs and best wishes. |
Posted By: MauMama
Date Posted: 26 June 2011 at 5:19pm
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Hugs BBE. I think your hormones are hitting you hard, as is the grief of it all, plus the betrayal by supposed family.
Is there an update? ------------- Crazy Cat Lady + Computer Geek Mama to Her (Asperger, anxiety) Big Boy Tiger Cat |