Early stages of labour with a toddler
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Topic: Early stages of labour with a toddler
Posted By: Sez26
Subject: Early stages of labour with a toddler
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 9:22pm
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Hi everyone
I'm nervous about going into labour with my toddler around. I've just remembered how hard that early stage at home was, and this time I'm going to have a toddler to worry about. I have family members who will be caring for our DS at our house, but they will be at least 1 hour away and I csn't really lock myself away in our bedroom, our DS would break the door down :-) It would be great to hear from anyone about their experience and any tips on how to cope. Thanks heaps ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: applejack
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 10:35pm
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not sure how old your ds is but keep a special movie you can put on for him something that will keep him captivated, and hopefully that will buy you enough time, also phone your family when you feel the first twinges so they get there and can then take ds to park etc if its during the day, or hopefully it happens at night and you wont have to worry about it -------------  
 
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Posted By: Sez26
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 8:20am
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thanks applejack
DS will be 2 yrs, 1 day after due date, so a dvd & park are great ideas. I'll definately phone my family at the first twinge - I better warn them now. Applejack, I noticed that your children are roughly 2 years apart. Any advice on preparing them for the arrival of the baby. Thanks again! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 10:05am
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Will you have your DH around? I found early labour was fine in between contractions, so I plan on it being just DH, DD and I for most of the time, with DH on hand to distract DD while I deal with contractions once it gets to that stage. Once it gets to the point that I want DH's full attention, then my friend will come over to mind DD.
We are having a home birth, so I figure we'll get DD to *help* with filling the pool etc and she'll be happy. So for me it's not something I'm worried about, but equally, last time I continued making building repairs for about half the first stage (my waters were leaking everywhere, haha), so I didn't find things hard to cope with until the very end. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 12:03pm
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I was lucky this time in that I just had extreme BHs all afternoon with just slight cramps so was able to deal with DS when I needed to, though I did spend most of my time on the couch and was pretty grumpy with him (poor boy), and thankfully he was in bed fast asleep when proper contractions started at 9.30pm.
My labour this time round was a lot easier then it was with DS. And remember that second labours are normally much quicker then first ones as dilation and effacement happen at the same time. Last time labour was 25hrs from first cramps to the end and this time it was only 7 hrs. My MW suggested that we get a gift for baby to give to DS to help him accept her. He has been at his fathers since baby was a couple of days old so he hasn't really spent much time with her. But when I brought her home he did give her a couple of kisses on his own accord and was calling her 'my baby'. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 12:07pm
I was installing the car seat into my car during contractions about 90mins before I had Alex  waiting for my mum to arrive to look after Daniel.
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Posted By: Sez26
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 1:15pm
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WOW amazing stories. Maybe I just have to harden up, it's a bit of a blur now, but I can definately remember not being able to do anything from the time I was about 1 cm dilated. I was vomitting a lot too so if it's like that again it would probably scare DS. DH will be with me, but it won't stop DS wanting me all the time. He's going through a clingy stage. Uh oh so if labour is quicker with the second one that must mean that it's way more intense...? I wish I could predict when and how it was going to happen and the duration so I could prepare myself. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 2:21pm
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I had a pretty mild labour until about 6cm dilated but even when the contractions were quite bearable i was so pleased when my mil turned up to take DS. It just meant that i could focus on me and what was happening, not have to put on a brave face.
I told him what was happening though, that his brother was coming and getting him out was hard work so mummy might be dealing with that. A walk was good and i think i did some gardening (hands and knees!). If i'd had to i def would have used a dvd. DH was also home cos it was a Sunday so it all worked out ok. My friend tho was in quite advanced labour waiting for her mum to come and her sensitive little boy was getting quite worried. She found it really tough trying to be brave for him but he was fine afterwards. Do you have a friend nearby who could be a back up if it gets bad quickly and could come and take him at short notice till parents get there? Personally from my experience having him gone was great so i could just get on with it. Before that i wasn't very relaxed. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 7:52pm
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I was worried about my son (20months) when I was in labour with my last baby,but he was fine,my contractions when I was at home were barely noticeable,and were an hour apart,I felt a lot sorer in my back etc than I had,but he didn't notice anything different.
And my labour was intense once I was at hospital,3cms to pushing in just under two hours,but the at home stage was all good. ------------- 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 7:54pm
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Also,labours can be completely different,all three of mine were different.
And with preparing your older child after baby is born, I made sure that when my son came to see us I had the baby in the cot and could just concentrate on him,don't push for your older child to be excited or interested,he will be in his own time . -------------
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 19 March 2011 at 1:38pm
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If your family is 1hr away I would call them early on whether it is day or night time. My parents are normally 5min up the road but they were an hour away looking after my young cousins for the weekend when I was in labour with Ben. Because it was night time I waited quite a while to call Mum to come look after Jack and it was not plesant having to wait that hour, wouldn't wait that long this time ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 19 March 2011 at 2:36pm
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Last time I was basically stuck on the couch from the start but this time contractions didn't get unbareable till I got to the hospital and that was because I was already 8cm.
I found it eaiser this time round because I knew what to expect and knew when I was at each stage. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Sez26
Date Posted: 19 March 2011 at 4:23pm
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Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences and helpful tips.
I've read through my hospital notes and I can now remember coping ok at home, but as soon as I got to the hospital when I was about 6 cm I just needed to zone out for a couple of hours. As long as DS is out of my hair by then I will be happy. I'll be telling my DH and family what the plan is and my expectations of them now :-) More questions... I left the hospital 2 hrs after having DS. In your experiences was it good to recover in hospital for a bit or did you just want to be home with your babies? Also, how soon after the delivery did you bring your other child in to meet the baby. Sorry about all the questions. I'm such a worry wort. I just want to keep DS as happy as possible. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 19 March 2011 at 4:46pm
| I wanted to leave straight after having alex but I wasn't allowed as they wanted to monitor his temp because he was a wee bit early. Daniel came in to meet him about 3hrs afterwards. |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 19 March 2011 at 7:50pm
Totally off topic, but congrats Linzy!!  
Sorry, no help on the meet-the-baby stuff, cos I've not been there yet. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 20 March 2011 at 12:45am
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for me I like to stay in hospital/birthing unit for a few days after my babies are born simply so I can have a few days with the new baby without having to share myself with my other child/ren.
And both came in the next day to see me after I had Mila,Ty with DH around lunch time,and Caitlyn came after school -------------
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 20 March 2011 at 12:39pm
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Rose was born at 4.30am so I stayed that day and the next night, then I just wanted to go home so that I could relax more and get some sleep. Mum brought Cody in the morning she was born. He wasn't too sure of her to start off with but when she brought him back that afternoon he was more accepting. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 21 March 2011 at 1:42pm
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We had 3 nights at the hospital - me, DH and baby and our toddler stayed at his nana's. He came to see us a few hours after j was born.
I wanted a few days there as i would be totally by myself once we got home so it was good to physically get myself a bit better and get bf off to a good start. My milk didn't come in for ages first time so wanted any support i could get and don't forget how sore and battered you are after labour. Even 24 hrs makes a big difference. But if i'd had great family support maybe i'd have come home and stayed in bed here. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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