Arghh hes so naughty!
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
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Topic: Arghh hes so naughty!
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Subject: Arghh hes so naughty!
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 11:17am
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Im at my wits end with DS! He is so naughty and it doesnt matter what I try he is still naughty.
He hits, yells, throws things, bites on occasion, pulls DD's hair, pinches! He very rarely listens to me, I have tried all sort of forms of dicipline to no avail, Im sick of yelling and Im getting super stressed about it all  My PND is creeping back because Im not really coping with it all.
Eveyrthing is funny to him and that makes me madder! right now he is in time out on the naughty met and kicking the wall(he ripped Bellas little necklace off her neck and broke it) and this was after pulling her off the couch by her TShirt *sigh* He can be such a sweet boy as well, and he is so bright and clever, and daycare said he is really really good there! Just at home, he is a lil ratbag! I know most of it is probably normal 2-3 year old stuff, but its getitng me down as I have a 17 month old that starting to do the same, you know monkey see monkey do 
Any tips?? Before I go bald from ripping my hair out  ------------- |
Replies:
Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 11:46am
Hugs  Dunno if I can be much help. DD is getting that way too. Really testing me lately. Know how you feel. Especially with the whole they think it's a joke and really funny when you tell them off  . I hope it's just that naughty 2-3 yo phase he's going through and will grow out of it for you soon, and that DD doesn't pick up too many bad habits from him.------------- 
 Missed MC July 2011
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:36pm
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what we do in our house is tell the naughty child that the bahaviour isnt acceptable - in a firmer deeper but not yelling voice - and then immediatley remove them from the room. To me this is just putting them in their room and pulling the door to and walking away. then the offended child gets lots of attention. the "naughty" child will usually immediatley follow (but i ignore them and carry on ) but unless there is an apology they go back to their room.
I suppose the other thing is reinforcing nice touching. Have you asked the daycare what form of punishment they use? perhaps you can use that at home too. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 4:45pm
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I put him in his room, but the annoying thing is that he can reach the door handles and they are those pull up and down ones, so he just comes straight back out, so I put him back in and so on and so forth, I think Im going to have to put the gate back up at his door to stop that, and that way he cant get out.
When I put him in time out, its for him, and me lol, I need that time to calm down, cos he makes me bloody wild sometimes! We do heaps of "gentle" and "nicely" talk with him and DD, and that does help, but he still pinches and stuff, so Im just going to have to get tougher with the time out, strike one your out kinda thing, no chances! I think daycare do timeout, like they have to sit at the table or on the mat for a while. Thanks ladies ------------- |
Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 8:21pm
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Grrr, it's sooooo frustrating isn't it? I've caught myself acting like a two year old loads of times One thing I always forget about in the heat of the moment, but remember later, is that getting negative attention is just their way of getting some form of attention from me. A horrible way of saying "spend time with me Mummy!". I have to constantly remind myself to dish out positive comments and praise good behaviour, while trying my best to ignore bad behaviour that isn't dangerous/causing harm to siblings/property etc. Unfortunately I seem to have a natural tendency to criticise or sound overly negative, so find it difficult to keep the balance right (they recommend saying 10 positive things to every 1 negative thing or something, don't they?). We definitely have better days when I conciously try to start out on the right foot from the time we get up in the morning and spend quality one-on-one time with DS before getting distracted with housework etc. |
Posted By: HuMum
Date Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:12pm
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You could also try rewarding for the good days. DS bites his sibling if he doesn't get his own way, so we started a "if you don't bite him today you get a reward" (its just a mini marshmallow) but he's 2 weeks and no biting, now we are you extending the number of days till he get the marshmallow.
I agree with the ignoring (I know its not a natural thing for a mum to do!) But DS behaves a lot better when he knows I'm going to put him out of sight if he's bad. |
Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:49pm
Sheza - for some behaviour we do not give a warning. If either girl hits, bites scratches or pulls hair, I pick then up straight away and into their room. They are usually so shocked that it doesn't happen again for a while  .
Have a look at the Diane Levy book "Of course I love you, now go to your room" It is pretty good and your library should have it. -------------   
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Posted By: gmunster
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 8:19am
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I second Jaycee - for some behaviour there is no warning. immediate explanation that it is not acceptable and removal to the bedroom until she is prepared to say sorry. We had HEAPS of isues a few months back but it has slowly started to disappear -------------  
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 1:55pm
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The supernanny book (how to get the best out of your children) has a great section on how to do time out in a really effective way. She explains it all really well and when we started doing that, both me and dh doing it the same way, and being consistent with doing it each time my son's negative behaviours stopped pretty quickly. Like days! Peace reined. Until me and dh get slack and then things creep back in.
So i think she said to make a list of what behaviours are unacceptable and put them up somewhere, then have a set discipline for them ie time out. Tell the kids this (regardless of age). Time out is always to be done the same way. If he laughs etc or has a good time in time out - fine, that is up to him. He has been removed from your family time because he did something negative. Usually if you ignore the laughing and playing etc it will annoy them. I nannied many kids for years and tbh i never met a kid that wouldn't respect my authority if i was fair, firm and consistent. You can't let him wind you up cos then you'll act out of anger. Even if you are furious, do the time out as calmly as possible, and then go to your room and cry and scream etc. The time out is sometimes for us to calm down. And if he is always seeing you getting angry then that is the behaviours you are modelling for him. Blimming hard tho - i have a hell of a temper and sometimes i just want to smack him tbh. Lucky for him i don't believe in it. And yes ditto to the others try and give heaps of positive attention. So if you and dh/dp decide to get a handle on it, the week you do, plan lots of time for you and him into the days so it is just not constant negative all day long. And yes when he comes out of TO the punishment is done so even if you're still annoyed about it you have to let it go. He's done his time. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 8:34pm
Thanks everyone  and thats for those tips crafty!
We have been doing the time out thing, he has to sit on the "naughty mat" and he knows now when he is on that mat its cos he has been naughty! Im also not giving him any chances like i was before, as soon as he hits etc, then its straight onto the mat, and we have started it with DD too and she understands! she stays put lol! Its been VERY VERY hard to keep my temper under control lately and the bad behaviour just sent me over the edge on Saturday, I had to take him down to mums so i could have a cry and calm down! but things have been much much better since then as we have stuck to the time out thing and we have stopped yelling and have stayed more calm and just out him/them straight on the mat. Geez this parenting buisness is hard work! lol ------------- |
Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 8:58pm
sometimes children can be such ratbags, well mine can  I have had days like that and walking way and having 10 minutes out at the washing line can be very helpful
it is tough when they are close in age and in each others faces all the time. -------------
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 12:43pm
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Yeah its really hard having them so close in age, it wasnt a year ago, but it certainly is now, actually ever since DD turned one and could walk round and get into stuff, Caden started lashing out at her heaps.
We are still using the naughty mat and he is starting to learn now, he tells me that its the naughty mat lol. i was growling the dog before and Caden said "on the naughty mat puppy!!" ------------- |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 04 February 2011 at 10:06pm
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good thread Sheza!! i needed to hear a lot of this - my almost 3 yr old is a blinkin nightmare at the moment
I like your post kakapo - it is hard to remember its just their way of saying spend time with me mummy It hard with a baby and a toddler, Im not sure if she is being 2 or hating me for having another baby, but she told me she wanted to live with just Daddy and Porti cause I was mean to her 
Will definately find that super nanny book! ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 8:56pm
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Aww *hugs* RJ!!
We are at the everything is NO NO MUMMY! stage, even if he does actually wants what hes saying no to, he still says no! arghh. He is a bit better since we have started the naughty mat and Ive started to keep my anger unter control and not yell so much. ------------- |
Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 11:48am
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Eek, the NO stage is horrible isn't it? Sounds like you're doing well Sheza - it really is so hard to not get worked up. A good tip someone told me once is to try to always keep your tone low and calm when speaking with your toddler - easier said than done, I know |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 08 February 2011 at 9:35pm
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I will give that go! It really is hard to not yell lol! ------------- |
Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 12 February 2011 at 6:21pm
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Hi Sheena.
Kaelen was a little terror when he was 2 and was mean to Isabella and just a real little sh*t in general. lol. I didn't wanna take him out anywhere and like with Caden, nothing worked! I've noticed now that keeping calm does help. As hard as that can be! I've really noticed that how i react does make a big difference. When i get stressed and yell his behaviour escalates. Heaps of people said 3 was even worse than 2 so i was so worried! lol. But he has actually calmed down and his behaviour has improved heaps. I so know how you're feeling. Kaelen is still really full on. ------------- 
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Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 17 February 2011 at 9:20pm
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Sheza- Your boy sounds exactly like Amelia and shes not even 2 yet (19months) . Altho shes always been quite naughty . Like your wee boy shes a perfect angel at preschool and the teachers rave about how smart she is and how well beaved she is . When she gets home or is around me she turns into a completly different child . She screams when shes in her pram , She hits me, she giggles when i tell her off and never ever listens . Everyone tells me its an age thing but i see other kids her age not doing any of the things she does to me . i guess they are all so different tho and all have different personalities . Hope things improve for ya . i Know how hard it can be with a difficult child . I dont even like to leave the house with Amelia these days because she causes such trouble and constantly embarasses me and plays up in public . In saying that tho she can also be a lovely , sweet , cuddly , cheeky little thing that kind of makes up for it . ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 19 February 2011 at 10:47pm
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Oh no Julz, and gosh it just gets worse too! but hopefully Amelia wont get any worse by 2 lol!!
Bella is a little madam too at times! She's lucky shes so lovely and cute most of the time 
Caden has actually been so good the last week or so! He's been using his manners all on his own "thank you mummy" etc when I give him something, he's been listening a bit better, and he has reallly excelled in the TT! He's been doing 80% of his number 1's in the potty and asking to go, and he's done his first poo on the toilet this evening So proud of him!------------- |
Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 8:30am
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Great stuff Sheza I just read an http://www.facebook.com/#!/peacefulparenting/posts/10150097101782671 - interesting thread about learning to control your temper and ways to avoid yelling at your kids here (hope you don't mind me posting the link here, think I'll lose it otherwise!). |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 3:07pm
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I jinxed it lol, he turned into a demon yesterday! but thats to be expected, he's only 2 1/2!
He is still using his manners which is awesome! and his speech is heaps better so he can tell me what he wants etc better now and I think thats helped tenfold! My anger thing is mostly to do with the PND, plus it runs in the family lol, Ive always been a hot head but not in a violent way or anything, just not very tolerant at times, and having two toddlers has been a big learning curve! Im getting back on Anti-D's soon(just have to pluck up the courage to ring the blimmin dr). ------------- |
Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 9:07pm
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I feel for ya. Kaelen has also turned into a little monster again. Hitting, spitting, throwing things, not listening! I also need to find the courage to see the doctor. I've actually never talked to a doctor about things before though. -------------
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