The second time round
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Coping with infertility
Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36994
Printed Date: 06 May 2025 at 4:13am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: The second time round
Posted By: HuMum
Subject: The second time round
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 12:46pm
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So DS was a 4 year pill popping, FSH creation and I was desperate to have kids. I wanted 4, and would do anything to get just one!!!! Now we are ready to try it all again for number 2 and I was wondering how it was for people the second time around.
I'm worried that since I have a little charmer of a son already I won't be able to put up with all the drug side effects for as long. I got horrible depression on the FSH injections. And that the relationship strain will be worse since we already have one,...do we really need two? I'd love to hear how it was for people the 2nd time around....... |
Replies:
Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 2:03pm
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Hugs chick! It's a hard one!
Before we were TTC number 2 (oficially once my af returned) I knew in my heart that I couldn't do the road of infertility again. But I wanted to know where we stood on the public system for funding. So we went to the fs to see what (if anything) we qualified for and basically if we had to wait all again to qualify for IVF (we couldn't afford to pay for it ourselves) we would of had about a 6 or 7year age gap between kids (once we tried for designated time, waited on list did round of IVF had a pregnancy etc) and I didn't want that age gap. DH and I talked about it and decided that we (mostly me) couldn't ride that rollercoster again as it was just too hard knowing exactly what we could of been in for and it scared me (I guess because the wounds of my infertility journey are still really raw even after beating it once and now twice, and I honestly dont think they will ever go away completley). We decided that if we dont get pregnant reasnobly 'eaisly' (which I didn't think would happen) that we are really blessed to have our precious boy. I didn't want to get to the stage of obsessing and letting TTC consume me again as I knew it wouldn't be fair on DS as I was so emotional and irrational towards the end of our journey. So we just took the approach if it happens it's ment to be and if not then we are happy regardless and I think that took alot of the pressure off. We had decided that we would try a few rounds of clomid again but that would be it...no more. I took one round of 50mg clomid that I had left over from ds (I was on 150mg when TTC him and only ovulated once) I was charting so knew I ovulated but our timing wasn't very good so I though that round was a flop and I was fine with it (would of been a different story if it was whilst TTC ds though). I tested at 9dpo and got a faint positive and here I am now half way to meeting our next wee miracle. So I guess you never know and you have to do what you feel is right deep down. Dont know if my novel helps but I hope your journey to number 2 is alot smoother sailing than number 1! Big hugs chick!  and good luck!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mountaingirl
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 10:52am
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It's so hard isn't it? I'm not sure I can offer much help but will give you my two cents anyway!
We tried for 5 years for DS and ended up falling preg halfway through our first IVF (just before egg collection). This time round we have been trying for just over 12 months and I did three months of clomid only as my plan was always to go straight to IVF and not muck round. I have an IUI booked for Feb and will prob do two before going to IVF. I have found this time the pressure is off slightly - prob because I am so busy running round after DS. However, I STILL get pangs when I hear of people having their second and third babies in quick succession and have a little woe is me moment over why it's not that easy for us. If I am lucky enough to have another though, that will be it - I am sick of putting myself, my family, my mind and my body through it all. Good luck with whatever you decide - it is such a personal choice! Huge hugs - it's a rough road. x |
Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 13 December 2010 at 10:33pm
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Good topic, will be interesting to see what other people say. We tried for 18months for DS which is not as long as you lot but it was pretty stressful and now are ttc again...no luck so far. I will feel blessed if this little fellow is our only child and don't think I could go through too much stress with trying for more babies. However, DS was conceived with no help so maybe we will get lucky again! ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: KeepOnSmiling
Date Posted: 14 December 2010 at 9:04am
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Hi HuMum,
I have two friends who conceived #1 with fertility drugs. One of them fell pregnant accidentally and naturally 4 months after the birth of #1!!!!! The other fell pregnant naturally the 1st month of ttc. AFM, #1 was natural after 5 months of ttc and #2 still hasn't happened after 10 months and 4 rounds of clomid. So it's different for everyone. I hope you're one of the lucky ones who it happens to quickly. GL and lots of baby dusk coming your way 
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Posted By: KeepOnSmiling
Date Posted: 14 December 2010 at 9:06am
| Hey MountainGirl, how much is IUI? My doc has suggested that road for us. We meet him again in mid Jan to discuss it further. |
Posted By: mountaingirl
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 9:12pm
| As far as I'm aware it is about $600 per cycle with stims. We have a meeting tomorrrow with FS so I will know more then! |
Posted By: HuMum
Date Posted: 17 December 2010 at 11:41am
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Wish I was too Keep on smiling, but unfortunately I have had even less AF since giving birth than I did before!! Even the drugs to regulate it don't work reliably anymore!!
So I have booked my FA appt for Feb, and funnily it has given me a bit more motivation and excitement that there may be more additions to the fa!mily....
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Posted By: sugarbaby
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 9:19pm
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Great topic!
after 4 years TTC,we were so blessed with a successful round of IVF ICSI. DD is 6 months now, and i have such mixed feelings about trying again. It was so hard, physically and emotionally. Are we pushing our luck trying again, its so confusing thinking about it and its so far in the future! I think you go into it open minded, If it works, brillant, if not, you have the blessings of your first. Noodle: Yours words have totally hit home for me, i am successful in my IVF journey, i have my daughter, but i have those raw feelings that infertility has left me, and i live with the guilt of them every day. I was lucky when others are not, but yet i still feel some sadness. ... thank you for speaking those words xxx ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Caronz
Date Posted: 18 January 2011 at 12:04pm
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We are also trying to get a playmate for DS who is now 18months old. The rd to get him wasnt easy (or cheap) with one failed round of ICSI under our belts we were lucky to find a sperm donor and get UTD after our first round of IUI ( still took ages to get the donor through the system though) We stopped being "carefull" when DS was 6 months old and when he was a year we went back to the clinic, UTD on 2nd month of IUI only to end in MC at 10 weeks in october, and since then I have been waiting for my levels to get back to 0 and my cycle dates not to clash with Xmas, so fingers crossed AF should arrive this week and we will be back to the clinic in a couple of weeks.
Gosh, sorry for the life history, but that is my story, And Yep Im finding 2nd time around is being very hard, I keep looking at DS and wondering if he is ment to be our gift and we should just accept that, but I still would love to give him a play mate so Im not stopping trying just yet. The thing that scares me most is turning 40 at the end of this year, I think that may be my cut off for me, if it hasnt happened by then, maybe its not ment to be. |
Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 22 January 2011 at 7:48pm
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I have been dying to find a thread like this. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I have this guilt of having my miracle after 4 years TTC, 3 years of that was ICSI IVF.
I should be fulfilled. I am so happy with my baby, but lately have had that feeling and pang of wanting another and knowing it is out of my control. We can't afford another IVF cycle and specialist said nothing else would work and even then he doubts our chances of IVF also. Also would be very hard to go through IVF and pregnancy again. I reacted so bad to the drugs of IVF and had such close monitoring and had to travel 2 hours almost daily to clinic and lab. During pregnancy I suffered hyperemesis and spent a good 3/4 of it in bed very ill. I wish you all the luck HuMum. If any of you know of a good support thread for people who have had babies with IVF, but cannot have more, I would really love to where I can find it. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: HuMum
Date Posted: 24 January 2011 at 9:31pm
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Hugs Kazper. Sorry I don't know of a good support thread.. but happy to listen, as I could be me in the same boat in a few months. Im only going to try the fert route for 6 months after that its out of my hands.
Have you thought of adoption? Altho I have heard its hard in NZ, it was never an option for us as DH wouldn't consider it. |
Posted By: KeepOnSmiling
Date Posted: 24 January 2011 at 9:39pm
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Gosh all your stories are so heartbreaking. I so wish you get your little miracle #2's soon!
I was listening to 97.4FM (Classic Hits?) in Auckland today and there was a woman who rang in to say she would happily be a surrogate mother for someone. I wish I had heard her name. I guess the radio station would know or perhaps if anyone is looking for a surrogate Mum, they could put it over the airways on 97.4fm since this woman listens to the station. I'm coming up 38 and have been TTC #2 for 18 months which is including fertility treatment - sadly no luck so far. I'm thinking of saving my eggs and finding a surrogate mum might be the way to go if it hasn't happened for us by the time I'm 40. GL everyone ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 26 January 2011 at 7:58am
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Thanks ladies. I wish you both the very best in TTC number 2.
HuMum yes adoption is an option for us. I have asked DH if in a years time we are doing ok financially if he would be fine with me booking in the adoption courses. He is more than happy for that, so there is hope yet . I know it won't be easy though, but there is something to aim towards.------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow"> |
Posted By: KeepOnSmiling
Date Posted: 26 January 2011 at 8:17am
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Kazper, I'm sure I've just heard in the last few weeks that adoptions from Romania and other places up there have just become a lot easier. Just wanted to share that with you and anyone else who was going down that road because I believe there can be quite a wait for NZ born children.
Have a great day everyone ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
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Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 26 January 2011 at 12:07pm
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Thanks KeepOnSmiling. I think at first we may try to stick within NZ. Would love to adopt outside NZ, but the risks do scare me after years ago Russia changed their rules and even the babies that had already been adopted out years beforehand were taken back home. I'm sure each Country is different, just not sure I could handle the process though. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow"> |