Toddler Behaviour
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36495
Printed Date: 07 August 2025 at 8:45pm
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Topic: Toddler Behaviour
Posted By: FionaO
Subject: Toddler Behaviour
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 7:33pm
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didn't want to hijack another thread, but keen to understand what your toddler does in terms of behaviour and what you do DS has always been fairly easygoing, he hit 2 and its like someone turned up the energy bar to 100% he is constantly moving, or doing something. Anyway DH and I suddenly felt we were saying no to heaps of stuff, and i'm never sure of the behaviour I should ignore and what I should really discipline, so where do you draw the line and what stuff do you go ok thats annoying but if I make a fuss it will make it worse?? ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 10:00pm
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I am probably a lot more relaxed about some stuff than other people, partly coz there is just me (I am a single parent) and I can't be policing everything all the time. I sat down a while ago with a stack of parenting books and worked out what was important to me and what was less important. I ended up with bed times and manners, no hitting/violence, no screaming or whining, and its important to have respect for people and things (your own and other peoples). Most other things I let go, especially food. Food is one battle I can't be bothered with. I serve up one thing and thats it, she either eats it or she doesn;t. I don't hassle or cajole, I just say thats dinner take it or leave it.
Umm, discipline I do Dianne Levy's swoop and scoop. I ask G not to do something, then I go over to her and tell her not to (while trying to distract her with something else) and after that there is time out which is 2 minutes on her bed in her room to think about how she should be acting. I try my best to think of win-win situations - ok so she doesn't want to get dressed but what if I try make it a game like putting her legs in her pants and seeing how fast she can pull them up or starting the zip off and getting her to do it herself. Or distract by asking her to help with something like could you carry this to the kitchen for me or go and find me some pegs. I try to not sweat the small stuff. What does it matter if her clothes get dirty or whatever. I guess what I'm saying is work out what is the most important to you for him to do (or not do) and all the rest is just stuff you can work around. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:19am
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We did pretty much what Shelt is doing - worked out what was important (or unsafe) and what wasn't - so hitting, biting, pinching etc not ok ever, throwing food not ok, screaming and whining not ok, sticking fingers into power sockets not ok ever etc. Everything else is situation dependant, and allowances made for tired/hungry toddler.
I found that trying to battle or discipline things like wriggling while changing nappies or refusing to get dressed would just get both DS and me worked up, so now I give him a toy to distract or sing songs or play a game. In terms of actual disciplining, he gets told no once, then again, then I take it off him, if he continues he gets taken to the naughty corner. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 3:58pm
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Ok cool - so I am the same I think, the other day left unattended for two mins with a crayoln he drew on the wall - instant removal of all crayolns and time out. But I think its the flapping and being silly I am trying to ignore, the over tired silly behaviour they get, not wanting to put PJ's on and running about etc.. i have decided we need to not make a fuss about as the more fuss we make the more he acts up. I will think about what things we want to make an issue and go from there. -------------
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 4:21pm
see me i would have done one or the other... otherwise you are punishing twice! silly things like inappropriate noises i ask them to go somewhere else to do them if they annoy me ... and if they ignore me then it would be a removal of child. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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FionaO wrote:Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 9:37pm
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Gabrielle drew on the couch today (just a wee bit down on the leg) and I took the felt off her. I didn't do time out because I felt that taking the felts away was enough of a consequence.
Sometimes I feel like I haven't really explained the appropriate behaviour, I am just expecting her to know what to do which is a bit difficult for a 22 month old. So I explained to her that felts only get used to draw on paper and that she must never draw on furniture, walls etc. She accepted that and went on to play with something else. But if it happened again I would reinforce the whole "we only draw on paper" message. I also try and figure out what is really the problem - sometimes the silly behaviour is because G is upset/scared/overtired/hungry. I make a point of trying to figure out how she might be feeling before reacting to the situation. So today she was throwing a tanty over leaving my friend's place (and the toys she was playing with there) but I realised it was past lunchtime and she was probably hungry for her lunch. Once I said she could have some food in the car she stopped the tanty, put the toys away and practically ran to the car. Toddlers aren't good at communicating and stupid/bad behaviour is sometimes not what it seems at first glance. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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