Finally coming to terms with mc
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35563
Printed Date: 08 July 2025 at 10:08am
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Topic: Finally coming to terms with mc
Posted By: newme
Subject: Finally coming to terms with mc
Date Posted: 03 September 2010 at 8:34am
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Hi all
I have been a lurker in this thread since miscarrying on New Years Eve. Since then I have really struggled with the loss, and even though I am pregnant again now, it hasn't actually lessened my grief for the baby I lost. The due date for the baby I lost was September 1st, and as the date approached I felt very very sad. But my husband has been extremely ill with swine flu, and developed complications and was actually hospitalised yesterday, and my two year old is sick. So I was sitting in hospital thinking, man, this sucks, so sad cos of the baby (but still very very happy and grateful for the healthy bub I am carrying), worried sick about DH, worried about my poor sick son, who is being looked after by someone else when he is sick. Then I thought, imagine if I hadn't miscarried, and I was having a baby now, I would have to labour and birth without DH, my son would have to stay with someone else for days (and he never stayed a single night apart from me), and then when I went home I would have to look after DH, DS plus a newborn. I just couldn't do that. So I have finally made peace with what happened. For the first time I think maybe there was a reason, and this may sound a bit crazy, but I feel like maybe it is the same little soul that I am carrying again now, just coming at a time that is going to work for us. I guess this post is just part of the healing process, and full acceptance of what has happened. |
Replies:
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 03 September 2010 at 12:19pm
Hugs hun  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 03 September 2010 at 12:33pm
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Glad you are coming to terms with things Hila, its a hard old road isn't it. I told my DH that one day when we have a baby I think I will understand why I had to experience these miscarriages. Everything happens for a reason, I just dont know why this had to happen yet.
I have been told by a spiritual type person (whatever you want to call them) that my wee soul keeps trying to come back. A wee boy apparently. I take all that stuff with a grain of salt but it does make my heart warm. Take care, I hope you are enjoying your pg and everything goes well for you 
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Posted By: Bobsta
Date Posted: 03 September 2010 at 8:07pm
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I'm so glad you have found that peaceful place and have accepted it. It's nice to get that feeling after all the grief. I'm a big believer in souls so if you feel that it's the same soul coming back to you, you are probably right ------------- Me 34 Him 35 DD almost 2 years old and... Baby #2 on it's way! http://www.babygaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Buttersmum
Date Posted: 25 September 2010 at 6:37am
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When I was watching Zoe playing on the floor the other day I realised to myself that I lost my first little one so that I could be blessed with the daughter I have now and that gave me some peace
I also believe that the little one is up there looking after Zoe and hopefully guiding her in the right direction
I am a strong believer too that things happen for a reason. Sometimes it just takes a while to figure that reason out.
Hope all is well with your family now and best wishes for the birth of your next wee one ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 my little blobby April 09 "gone but will never be forgotten xx"
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Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 25 September 2010 at 8:19am
| Thank you for your messages. My family is back to full health, and I personally feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. No longer searching for answers is a relief. |