Feeling a bit blue...
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35009
Printed Date: 13 July 2025 at 7:01pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Feeling a bit blue...
Posted By: chicky84
Subject: Feeling a bit blue...
Date Posted: 31 July 2010 at 6:54pm
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Hi everyone,
Im quite new to this :) I would love some advice... My hubby and I have been TTC since 2008 and in that time we have had two m/c. The second loss was quite hard as it was so sudden, no warning signs like the first, and I ended up in hospital as my body didnt quite let it all go. Its hard for us to concieve as my monthly is always late and infequent and I never know when im ovulating. Every time it is late my hopes are high but my pregancy tests are negative. Just lately it feels like every woman I see is either pregnant or has small children and I am trying so hard not be be resentful. Most of my firends are mothers and there are two woman at my work who are pegnant, I would even be at the same stage as one of the ladies and latley at the end of the day I cry in the car on the way home wondering why its not me. Hubby thinks I am starting to get a bit down, he is confident we will have our baby soon enough and I think he is starting to get a bit tired of me harping on about babies so much! Is it my stupid montly hormones in overdrive at the moment (montly late again *sigh*) causing me to feel so low at the moment, or am I just being a drama queen?? Any advice on how to overcome this?? I just want to be me again, not this baby obsessed, depressed person im truning into. |
Replies:
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 31 July 2010 at 11:10pm
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Oh honey - how hard for you. Unfortunately no good advice from me. I was also obsessed and definitely depressed during our 3 year wait for Kiara. I just want to say what you're feeling is very common, although completely sucky. It seems like everyone gets pregnant around you and kids are born near your due dates and every month that goes past is like you've failed a major exam or something. All the uncertainty just makes it worse - I mean if someone had told me that this journey would take 3 years then I'd have my girl I would have coped better.
The only suggestion I'd make is finding some way of making you feel like you're doing something to help. Maybe getting some tests done (both of you) - particularly since you say your cycles are all over the place. Oh - and try not to stress (if you can) because lots of people tell stories of the moment they decided to stop trying and just started to relax again they fell preggers. Remember too that being upset is normal and part of the grieving process. Depression is something different and needs to be addressed as it can be a dark downward spiral (from personal experience). ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: chicky84
Date Posted: 01 August 2010 at 12:01pm
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Hi Saff,
Thanks for your message 
Hubby and I have decided to stop trying for the next few months just to give us both a bit of time to relax. I have been to my Dr, she is awesome and so understanding, however both the Dr and myself agreed we wont start testing unless we have a third m/c. She would also like me to wait and see if my cycles settle. I have had test to check that I am ovulating and I am which is a huge positive for us
It is reassuring to know that although its seems hard for us right now, other people have been through this and have had a baby, the light at the end of a very long tunnel. |
Posted By: Bobsta
Date Posted: 01 August 2010 at 2:30pm
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Hi chicky
You are not a drama queen and what you're going through unfortunately is quite normal for those of us that have to work a bit harder to be mums. I know what it's like feeling obsessed with TTC, it does take over your life a bit when you want to be pregnant so badly. I found chatting to other people in the same space as me really helpful. It also took the burden off DH to listen to me all the time! There are some really good threads in this site under the planning pregnancy section. I charted for a bit which actually taught me heaps about my cycle so then I knew when I was ovulating so we could time things to give ourselves the best chance each month. The only problem with charting is it makes to think even more about TTC. Sometimes it's good as you can focus your frustration on something and makes you feel like you are at least doing something to help get UTD! But other times you just want to scream. I used to chart for one month, then take a month off, then chart again the next month. Maybe charting will be good for you especially as your cycles are a little unpredictable. It's natural to get a bit down over these things and I find talking on here the best way to overcome that. Everyone round here is so supportive. Good luck to you and I hope the wait is not too much longer for you. ------------- Me 34 Him 35 DD almost 2 years old and... Baby #2 on it's way! http://www.babygaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: kelzie_rose
Date Posted: 01 August 2010 at 2:47pm
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Aww hun, I know, it's hard. My hubby and I have been TTC for 2 years now and we've miscarried also. I also ended up in hospital. I also have two workmates who are pregnant. It's hard as you want to be happy for them but can't be.
Hubby is concerned that I am depressed and him and my doctor have suggested that I talk to someone. So I am going to try find some kind of counsellor, I am also trying acupuncture to decrease my stress levels, something that I truly think would help my ability to conceive. I have also started budgeting in for me to be able to do things just for me. A massage, a haircut, a manicure... I find that during these me-times, it relaxes me and makes me feel better, at least temporarily. Hubby also sat me down and told me that he was really down because of how depressed I am, and he's sad about our ttc journey too, but that we have each other, we have a nice house, we have our two amazing cats, I have a job that I love and that while we are going through this setback, there are other things that I have going on that are good. I have ridiculous cycles too, ranging from 40 - 70 days, and Dr won’t put me on Clomid until I lose weight, so I'm taking Vitex and hoping that that will work. Be strong hun, it may seem like you're alone in this but you have loads of people on OhBaby that are here for you. You've joined a really good network of girls here. Big hugs xx -------------  Started TTC Apr 2008 With PCOS and a bicornuate uterus Our angel babies Jan 2010 <3 Oct 2010 <3 Apr 2011 <3 |