It’s happened again :(
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31356
Printed Date: 10 July 2025 at 2:33pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: It’s happened again :(
Posted By: Tinkerbelle83
Subject: It’s happened again :(
Date Posted: 03 February 2010 at 3:34pm
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Hi
I just had my 12 week scan and it was a missed miscarriage :( I'm so devastated, I really thought it was going well. I've read a bit and they said the preg symptoms continue sometimes. It's so cruel! Waiting for MW to call as not sure what happens next. No bleeding at all. I hate that I'll have to tell everyone as well... especially our nearly 5 yr old stepson. His Mum is also pg and is due in June... This is going to be so hard, but we will keep trying. Next time I'm going to wait until 12 weeks until we tell people. Have any others had more than 1 mc? How did you cope? and any successes? |
Replies:
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 03 February 2010 at 3:37pm
Oh I'm so sorry 1stMum!!! Its not fair  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 03 February 2010 at 4:01pm
Just sending you big hugs hun, Im so sorry... ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
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Posted By: NikkiB
Date Posted: 03 February 2010 at 5:53pm
so sorry to hear of your loss  ------------- A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys: RB 3/10/2008 JB 29/12/2009 |
Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 03 February 2010 at 8:02pm
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1stmum Im so sorry for your loss ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Luckymama23
Date Posted: 03 February 2010 at 9:11pm
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So sorry to hear about your loss 1stmum
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Posted By: Tinkerbelle83
Date Posted: 03 February 2010 at 9:42pm
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Thank you all for your support. MW got back to me and I have an appointment tomorrow at hospital.
It is so unfair and it hurts so much more that it;s happened twice now. I have read posts of people who have had many mc's and gone on to have children so there is still hope :) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
3 precious Angel babies - Oct 09, Feb 10, June 10 |
Posted By: maudie23
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 12:02am
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1stMum I am so sorry for your loss.
I hope tomorrow goes ok and you can spend sometime remembering your little angel. I hope my history gives you some hope. I had 2 mc's,a Daughter (Stillborn), 1 very healthy Baby Boy & I am 5 weeks away from having another Healthy Boy. It does happen Hun, I thought I would never get a family to take home but I was wrong. I hope you are feeling ok and that tomorrow is not to painful. I am sending you lots of hugs & will be thinking about you tomorrow ------------- 
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Posted By: Tinkerbelle83
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 7:40am
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Hi Maudie23
Your history does give me a glimmer of hope. Thank you. It must have been so hard when your daughter was stillborn :( I'm so sorry for your loss. My DH was trying to make me feel better yesterday and he said that this is practice for the perfect baby we will have in the end. I guess thats true :) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 precious Angel babies - Oct 09, Feb 10, June 10 |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 8:03am
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Aww what a sweet thing your DH said!
I still had pg symptoms for a couple of weeks as my hormones stablised.. your right is it cruel! The hospital will give you the option to take some pills to bring on the mc or a D&C... They will go over both options with you. Big, huge hugs.. I am so so sorry! -------------   
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 9:42am
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*big hugs*
I have had 4 miscarriages between Rhiannon and Cory and one of them was a missed miscarriage and i found out at 11wks, i ended up having a dnc done. If you need to chat just pm me, and i hope that you dont have to go through this again, and i agree your DH is so sweet ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 10:10am
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Oh hun - I'm so sorry its happened again.
Its just heartbreaking
I've only had the one and I couldn't imagine the pain of another one. But my friend had 3 before she had her 1st bubba and she's just had another perfect little bub. I know drs like to wait until people have 3 (which is just awful imo) but maybe your dr might be able to do some tests to see if there is anything they can do to help - my friend had to do the pesseries (which I know I can't spell) and that made all the difference in her case. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Jacindarella
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 10:43am
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I'm so sorry for you loss!
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Posted By: Tinkerbelle83
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 1:58pm
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Went into hospital this morning and have decided to get a D&C. Have to go in Monday morning at 6.45am! I must admit I am feeling alot better today and am keeping positive.
From what you girls have said and the doctor even said it, there is light at the end of the tunnel and I won't give up hope! The midwife didn't seem to be too worried as I conceived really quickly and it was prob just a coincidence that it happened twice. I just watched that movie Julie and Julia and I just want to go and cook now! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 precious Angel babies - Oct 09, Feb 10, June 10 |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 2:44pm
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We'll be thinking of you on Monday.
Don't give up hope - while things are a bit dark at the moment, there is light at the end of the tunnel. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: X
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 3:05pm
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Sending you big hugs. It's bad enough for it to happen once but twice is just so unfair.
I have a beautiful healthy son aged 2.5, & then I had two MC (both at 6 weeks) & now I am 28 weeks pregnant with a little girl. Don't give up hope-nothing good & worthwhile in life is achieved without a little struggle. I know it's hard but if you just stay positive & don't give up one day you will have that beautiful little bubba you deserve. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 3:46pm
massive hugs to you..its so awful...:( I had a missed mc at 12 weeks(DandC as bub had died 4 weeks earlier) feb 07 and then healthy baby feb 08 and another mc jan 09 and 4 days away from number two :) telling everyone is so hard though esp the stupid comments people say!!!:( anyway hugs to you! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
1stMum wrote:Posted By: spanky77
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 5:41pm
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hugs to you, its such a horrible thing to go through. MC anyway is bad . . . I won;t say the missed variety is the worst, but its a special brand of sh*tty. Mine was 13w6, I'd just 'relaxed' into pregnancy knowing the scary first trimester was over, turns out baba died at 8w1d: the day we saw her on the scan and found out I was utd!
I was especially gutted with my own body, for fooling me and letting me believe I was pregnant all that time. Had miso to finish the process, wanted to be at home and handle it privately. Pregnant symptoms went on for another 2-3 weeks, which I thought was particularly cruel too. I'm sorry you have lost your baby and are going through this too. We told people by email - one mass email, or text message, because I couldn't face telling people over and over again. It may not have been the nicest way for people to find out, but not a patch on what we were feeling. Next time I'm going to wait until 20 weeks to tell anyone (we waited 12 weeks for most people) Hope everything has gone ok today, all the best |
Posted By: jessiesmum
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 8:30pm
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Oh no you poor thing. I've only had 1 misc so I can only imagine how awful it must be to go through it again. The good thing with already telling people is that at least they (hopefully) will be sympathetic and supportive.
I read an awesome book after mine called "Life after baby loss" by Nicola Miller-Clendon and it really helped me give myself permission to grieve.. no matter how early you lose a baby she says it's still a lost baby. She also had some very clever retorts for the stupid comments you get. |
Posted By: Sh_az
Date Posted: 06 February 2010 at 2:42pm
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1stMum very sorry to hear about your loss.
I had two eptopics (second resulting in loss of tube) and then had a miscarriage . After the mc I got quite disillusioned about the whole thing and wondered if I was ever destined to become a mum. But there is a silver lining to my story. I am currently 21 weeks pregnant so don't give up hope.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Tinkerbelle83
Date Posted: 06 February 2010 at 3:25pm
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Jessiesmum - I got that book out of library yesterday and is a good read so far :) Thanks for the recommendation. I realised I really do love may family. They have given my lots of support. My Aunty by marriage has been over here this week for her fathers illness and subsequent funeral and called today and said how sorry she was. She said my angels are in heaven with her father who is probably teaching them economics (he was an economist) :) It was very sweet and I truly believe that. I think I've grown through these last few months and I knew how to respond to her fathers passing than what I would have before. She was great too:)
Sh_az - Wow that must have been hard for you. I'm sorry for your losses. It really helps to hear of positive stories though and I'm so happy you are pregnant with your little darling :) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 precious Angel babies - Oct 09, Feb 10, June 10 |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 08 February 2010 at 8:59am
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Just a quick note to say we are thinking of you today.
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Posted By: maudie23
Date Posted: 08 February 2010 at 11:52am
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Just wanted to say I am thinking of you today. Do things in your own time Hun.
Big Hugs & Kisses Hun -------------
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Posted By: Tinkerbelle83
Date Posted: 08 February 2010 at 4:48pm
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Thanks for your thoughts everyone :) The surgery went well and I'm surprised by how good I'm feeling :) Still a wee while to go to recover emotionally but I'll get there :)
On reading that book, I realised we have things are so much better in our day in age. My Nana had a stillborn son in 1956? but it was never acknowledged and just taken away from her. It was never named or spoken about either. She passed away nearly 4 years ago now and suffered from dementia and I think one time she was trying to talk to me about her son. She couldn't really string sentences together that well at the end but I'm pretty sure she wanted to talk about it. It just wasn't spoken about in those days but I am so thankful for the support I have received in the last few months :) It really does help you to grieve, to know that people are thinking of you and are there for you :) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 precious Angel babies - Oct 09, Feb 10, June 10 |
Posted By: Tinkerbelle83
Date Posted: 08 February 2010 at 5:03pm
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My mother-in-law, who had a miscarriage sent me this song which was really lovely. Thought some of you might like it :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxAAspHOfF4 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxAAspHOfF4 It was just in a file but couldn't manage to post it on here so just search youtube. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 precious Angel babies - Oct 09, Feb 10, June 10 |