How many of you have toddlers that
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Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
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Topic: How many of you have toddlers that
Posted By: myfullhouse
Subject: How many of you have toddlers that
Date Posted: 16 January 2010 at 8:59pm
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self settle at bedtime (without CC or CIO)? And do they have sleep "aids" like dummies or cuddlies etc?
It is a VERY long story so I won't give all the details but bedtimes here are a nightmare. I have to put Ben down and 99% of the time Jack as well. Jack avoids sleep as best he can. With quite a bit of heartache a month or so ago we "weaned" off me having to sit and hold his hand to go to sleep and I managed to move to folding the washing outside his bedroom door. Anyway I am trying to move to the next step of him just seeing me walk past while I do chores but he won't have a bar of it. Am I expecting too much to have him self settle? He is a very affectionate boy who loves being close to us and we have recently (over the last 4+mths) had separation anxiety issues. ------------- Lindsey 
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Replies:
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 16 January 2010 at 9:07pm
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Jackson has never been a problem to get to sleep. We always tell him its bedtime, get his dummy and his blanky and pop him in his cot and shut the door. 99.9% of the time he goes to sleep.
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 16 January 2010 at 9:38pm
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Jody also is happy to self settle, she has her glow worm with her.
The only time when we did have some problems was a few months ago. I sat in the dark with her humming until she fell asleep, then after a few nights I just hummed until she was sleepy. She just got over it for some reason. I always have to keep her door closed though, if she saw me walking past her room she would not be impressed if I didn't go in and get her up! -------------   
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 16 January 2010 at 9:44pm
For nighttime ours self settle. They had a dummy until they were 18 months but now just have Teddy and a soft hand puppet that they got for Xmas ( )
For day sleeps I pretty much have to shut the door for a few minutes for them to recover from the shock of being put to bed  Then I go back in and sing a bit, hold their hands and leave again before they are asleep.
I find if I tell them I'm leaving to go to the toilet they don't like it, but if I tell them I'm going to "phone Daddy" then they're ok with it. Weirdos
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 6:38am
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haha Tishy
Got a self settler here, too. She has her "shiny" (a woollen blanket with a satin edging) and a small soft dog. I don't think you're expecting too much at all 
Just by moving to the bedroom door to do things is a big step, I think. Keep it up and you'll get there ------------- 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 7:23am
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Yeah Spencer self settles too, he has a few teddies and a few blankets but isn't attached to any one in particular as long as he has teddies and blankets.
A while ago he was getting out of bed and playing in his room so we had to remove all of his toys from his room and that solved that. Didn't solve the problem of trying to keep my lounge tidier though. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 8:20am
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eden self settles but sometimes if she isnt ready she will scream the house down and we get her up. she either then just sits with us for cuddles or has a bf then we put her back to bed and she is generally fine. no special cuddly here. I dont walk past her door tho cause she would want to get up. and we leave the door open. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 8:33am
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To make you feel better - Harry hasn't self settled for a while. Sometimes he will if he's really tired. Often the whole popping past and "good boy staying in bed, well done" thing will work but to tell the truth I haven't had the energy to do that in the last week.
Lately I've been sitting on the end of his bed or lying next to him just cos it's easy (naughty I know, but I'm doing what I have to to survive). But his Granny and Grandad can put him to bed and he'll just go to sleep, cheeky boy. They often settle better for people other than mum or dad, grr! He has his muz which he cuddles (muslin cloth). He's also a very affectionate boy and loves being close to us too, I'm wondering if it's a kind of separation anxiety thing. Lately he's been giving me LOTS of sweet little kisses and cuddles. You're not alone  ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 10:35am
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Caden will self settle, but most of the time it takes him ages, he often plays in his room(god knows what he plays with though as I take all his toys out before bedtime!).
If I hang around in his room it makes him worse and when I do leave the room he has a melt down(but it only lasts a min or so). I shut his door and leave him to it. ------------- |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 11:35am
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Mac self settles (although sometimes with tears for about 5 mins - usually once a week) most of the time. He has a rabbit toy that he only gets at bed time, he is put to bed, we read 3 books to him, leave him with a wee pile of books and shut the door. We don't get him back up ever and will often find him asleep with a book across his chest or face as he has fallen asleep reading.
The last couple of weeks he has sometimes been in his room for about 2 hours before finally giving in to sleep. He has no toys etc in his room and nothing that he can destroy so I am happy to leave him to it. -------------  
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 1:29pm
OK now I am thoroughly depressed! I thought it was just everyone I know that has self-settlers, not everyone else as well. 
If we close the door Jack freaks out, if we walk past he gets upset, if we don't walk past he gets upset! He has only ever self settled for a month or so early last year. He does seem to be, fo lack of a better term, a Mummy's boy and does like to keep both of us close. Well I think I will go back to folding washing in the hall for a while longer, at least I am not waiting 30mins+ for him to go to sleep while I hold his hand and think of all the jobs I have to do. Maybe we will try to move to the next step in a little while ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 2:30pm
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Yeah the only time we have a problem with Isabelle is if she has been staying with her Grandparents, as they spoil her rotten, so on her first night home she will cry for five mins or so.
Is she isnt ready for sleep when we have read her stories etc, we just tell her to sit up in bed and look at her books till she is tired and we leave her, usually no problems at all. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 2:39pm
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Lauren has never self settled (she gets herself back to sleep in the night, but can't get herself to sleep in the first place). I still feed her to sleep because its literally the only way to get her to go to sleep - she is very very resistant and always has been. It's a bit of a nightmare, and I'm trying to get her to learn to self settle before the new baby comes because I don't know if I'll have the chance to feed her to sleep then (mind you, its just one nap a day and night time now). If I don't feed her to sleep she will eventually (and I mean after two hours of crying and being terribly upset even though I am right there with her) be so exhausted that she falls asleep, but she never stays there for long when it happens that way. She is a very cuddly child, and when it comes down to it I just can't hack the crying, it upsets me as much as it does her - it's tended to be much quicker to give her a ten minute feed and be done with it! lol
So you're definitely not alone. Some kids just seem to really struggle - Lauren would be up all day if I didn't help her get to sleep, hell she won't even fall asleep in the car or push chair! I'm sure it gets better, just hang in there for now. ------------- ~Cassie~   
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 3:41pm
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Ethan has good days and bad...when he was teething he would sleep straight away and then need re settling in the night..just a few mins and a dummy replacement.. but now not sure what it is..he will only have dad and seems about 2 nights out of seven wakes at say 4am and needs cuddle from dad.. in the beginning I never let him make a sound and ran to him..silly idea cause it took 7 months for him to put dummy back in himself lol.. we never let him cry much as he has a certain cry if he will settle and one where he wont...,must admit nice to have him want dad after 2 years wanting me:)
anyway he has dummy and blanket we never give him anything else in bed as it makes him worse. though he is still in a cot. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 6:20pm
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Sam self settles, but sometimes he will talk and sing away for an hour or so before giving in. There is literally nothing in his room anymore because he destroys things and uses anything he can to climb on to get out. He has a soft toy reindeer that he has in his bed, but he stuffs it in between the mattress and the plastic (his bed is a racecar) before he goes to sleep so he doesn't really cuddle it much.
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Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 17 January 2010 at 11:11pm
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Samantha is a fantastic sleeper and has always self settled with just her snugglies for company. Lately she has started putting herself to bed around 6.15pm.
From what I gather this isn't the norm for this age group though. She is the only one out of all her friends that goes to sleep without a parent in the room with her. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 18 January 2010 at 7:44am
| We don't have a self settler here. I sit next to the cot and let her play with my hair until she goes to sleep. I've tried CC, and what a horrid experiance that was! Never again. Her daddy can't put her to bed at all. Naps are a different story - she often just goes to sleep when it suits her for a nap. During the night, she self settles about 50% of the time if she wakes. I think it's one of those things those of us with sleep issues in a toddler don't want to admit to because we feel like the only one, and a bit of a failure. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 18 January 2010 at 8:20am
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Linzy I don't think you are alone in this, I know of at least two women in my coffee groups who are having issues with their 2.5 year olds and one of those is taking till 10pm to get to sleep some nights and then waking and not settling through the night.
I just think I have been incredibly lucky that Spencer, so far, has been a good sleeper and we've only had a few minor hiccups. Last night he didn't go to sleep till after 9pm though, I heard him asking for help and when I went in he was sat in the middle of his room trying to button his pj top back up, so he might self settle but it doesn't mean he goes to sleep at 7pm. And some days although he is knackered he point blank refuses to nap and will monkey about in his room, even though it only contains his bed and a wardrobe (that has kiddy locks on it), amazing how much fun a 2 year old can make out of nothing. -------------
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Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 18 January 2010 at 9:07am
My 2 year old is a pretty good sleeper too & she doesn't fuss when we put her to bed.. We try and stick to the same routine as it works well. A drink, book then bed. She has two Muslin cloths she's very attached too, along with her fave teddies all in bed with her (they all have to have kisses from mummy too  ). She usually waves and blows us kisses as we leave the room. Can take 20 mins or so, but works for us.
Sounds like you're on the right track. Good luck! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 18 January 2010 at 12:18pm
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Linzy I don't think you are alone at all - My 2 and a quarter year old certainly doesn't self settle (during the night she does) at bedtime. She is a very affectionate girl as well and even though she is very outgoing she gets seperation anxiety as well. Maybe it is a personality thing?
We have got to the stage now though where I can read her a story and say goodnight and tell her I will be back in five to check on her but I need to close the door or she comes back out. She will usually stay in bed and will nod off between 'checks'. sometimes though she gets upset but I feel she is old enough now to cry it out for a few minutes with the knowledge I will be back soon. I always give her another cuddle when I come back in and sometimes she falls asleep while I am there but this works for us as I am not tied to her side and I am getting things done between 'checks'. It sounds like you are doing a good job. |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 18 January 2010 at 1:06pm
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Thanks everyone. It does feel like I am alone in this as no one else in my coffee group seems to have any problems, or at least they don't say that they do.
Jack never got attached to anything (cuddlies etc) and I never gave him a dummy so I think that could be why we have more problems than some other people may have. Last night DH and I took turns sitting outside his door (I had to see to Ben at one point) and although it was annoying for the time it took, I did get the washing folded! and it was alot less stressful for everyone which I do think means that Jack sleeps a little better during the night. We may just stick to this for a while. ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: kiwigal
Date Posted: 20 January 2010 at 1:12am
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Kaitlyn is 16 months and self settles she has a dummy and a musical toy that she has had since she was litle. Sometimes she will wake up before I go to bed make her bottle then I don't hear from her until morning.
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Posted By: maysie
Date Posted: 20 January 2010 at 6:43am
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Lily was a wonderful self-settler and sleeper until just before her 1st bday and it all turned to custard after that!
I now lay with her until she falls asleep, she likes to hold onto me. Sometimes I feed her if she is particularly upset about bedtime (its the only time of the day she gets booby and its more of a comfort thing cause I dont think there is much milk left in there!) otherwise we just listen to her tigger nightlight/song toy. She is a finger sucker so no dummies or cuddlies. If she is tired it takes about 1/2 hour, if not can take up to 90 mins. It's been very hard but we tried the crying it out but she just ended up hysterical and I personally think she's too old fo rthat now. We have decided to carry on until she's a bit older and we can discuss bedtime with her and so she knows we are still close by. She does take herself to bed when she's ready and will wait for us on her bed with her books, it's more that she doesn't like being alone I think. You are def not alone in this. I think it's just something that people either don't admit to or they just don't mention it because it's normal for them. Just think, in a few years we won't be able to get them out of bed!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 25 January 2010 at 12:12am
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Jake has always self settled (I did let him CIO at about 6 months, so he learnt to go to sleep then, but had been a great sleeper prior to getting sick at that age too).
He has a few teddies in bed with him that have to come (but only had 2 out of the 4 when we went away this week and didn't care) - he had a "mousey" toy that he slept with as a baby but started eating it (pooing wool!!!) just before he turned 2, so we had to take that away and replace it with the teddys. He has a cup of milk before bed, then we read about 3 books, a cuddle and leave the room. There is the odd night that hes not tired enough (had a 4 hour day nap or a really late one) so one of us will go back in and cuddle him a bit til hes more tired. And he has the odd yell if I put him down as dh does it most nights (and I put Morgan down) but dh just opens the door and tells him to go to sleep, and he does! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 26 January 2010 at 11:25am
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Caleb was great but the last six months he's protested when its bed time about 90% of the time. Now we snuggle up and read a couple of books together then he gets to choose one to take to bed with him and this has made all the difference. He's happy to give me a kiss and cuddle then sits down and reads his book until he falls asleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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