third time lucky?????
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=28010
Printed Date: 19 July 2025 at 2:16am
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Topic: third time lucky?????
Posted By: karenm
Subject: third time lucky?????
Date Posted: 10 August 2009 at 1:56pm
I've had 2 m/c (sept 09 & mar 10) and after 4 months of TTC, have just found out I'm UTD again 
The only problem is I don't feel anywhere near as excited as I did the other times and am absolutely dreading my first scan as both m/c were picked up during early scans. Any words of advice for getting through the first 12 weeks without turning into a nut case????? ------------- 4 x m/c - Sep 08, Mar 09, Oct 09 & Feb 10 |
Replies:
Posted By: Kicker
Date Posted: 10 August 2009 at 2:14pm
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No advice as i am a fellow nut case, i guess i just try to rationalise my nerves. After each scan i just think thats another week down.
I hope you are able to enjoy some of your pregnancy and hopefully after you pass the time of your last losses things will get easier. -------------  
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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 10 August 2009 at 2:22pm
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Advice...you *think* you'll be sweet when you get to 12 weeks. BUT you're not. You NEVER stop worrying. Best of luck, I hope this one is "the one" for you! ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 10 August 2009 at 2:39pm
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I hope everything works out for you! I have no advice either..i was a nervous wreck till 12 week scan esp with some spotting..but i got through it..it sucks for some of us we dont get to enjoy the early part of pregnancy!:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 10 August 2009 at 3:19pm
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Nupe - I was a complete wreck until I start feeling this little guy moving around in here.
I did have loads of HCGs - I figured it was good to see things ticking along in there and if something was going to go wrong at least I'd know. I was in two minds about having the early scan at first - too closely associated with the MC. But I changed my tune when the time came and while its a relief I did still worry. Fingers crossed for you hun - its a rough few weeks ahead of you - but we are all here if you need to vent! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 10 August 2009 at 8:34pm
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Yup I worried right up until I had the little bugger in my arms!!!!! In fact i was slightly removed the whole pregnancy as I just couldnt let myself get hurt again.
I had serial scans and still couldnt look at the screen at 38 weeks until I was told all was good even though I could feel him kicking the sonographer LOL. My point, its normal and I am hoping this little bean is a sticky one! I have everything crossed for you!!!! -------------   
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Posted By: karenm
Date Posted: 14 August 2009 at 9:33am
Had a blood test on weds which confirmed pregnancy  but because of previous m/c's my doc has ordered serial HCG tests and I have an appointment to see her next week.
I really hope she doesn't want me to have an early scan because I just don't want to go there. I know from previous experience that seeing a heartbeat is no guarantee the little one will stick (last m/c saw heartbeat at 6 wks, baby died at 7wks) so I'd rather wait until we're at least 8 weeks before the first scan. Probably sounds a bit like I'm sticking my head in the sand but i figure what ever will be will be and having an early scan isn't going to change the outcome. ------------- 4 x m/c - Sep 08, Mar 09, Oct 09 & Feb 10 |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 14 August 2009 at 10:47am
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Yay for it being confirmed!
I get the whole not wanting the early scan thing, waited for 7+ weeks myself. I wouldn't want to go any earlier - it would just freak me out too much. At first I thought I'd wait for at least 8-9 weeks but found I couldn't hold out that long. I found having a mountain of HCGs done good - at least I was able to see the numbers going up and would know as soon as something wasn't ticking along as it should. Hugs hun - its a rough time for you - excited about the pregnancy but trying to protect yourself just in case. Sticky vibes being sent your way!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Newbie26
Date Posted: 14 August 2009 at 5:09pm
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Hi karen - good news to hear you are preg again.
I am supposedly 12 weeks today after my mc last year and several months of no success. I'm also insanely paranoid about everything - if my boobs don't feel sore or I don't feel sick I freak out - you're not alone! I too opted to not have a scan until about 7 weeks or so, but just had the HCG tests every week, sometimes twice a week... I have AB+ blood type, they found something in my blood test that suggests I have antibodies something-a-rather - so they put me on aspirin. I am crossing all my fingers and toes for you. |
Posted By: karenm
Date Posted: 14 August 2009 at 9:33pm
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like the idea of weekly hcgs instead of scans - will def be suggesting that to the doctor.
we're going to Raro on the 28th Aug for a friends wedding. Be about 7 weeks by then so hoping 7 days of R&R and sunshine helps junior stick around. ------------- 4 x m/c - Sep 08, Mar 09, Oct 09 & Feb 10 |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 17 August 2009 at 8:13pm
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Join the ranks of us nutters. I am in a similar position as you Karenm except mine were only picked up at the 12 week scan. No signs or warnings. Just assumed everything was fine. I don't have any advice. I am a nutcase. I refuse to talk about it yet at all (except for my dreadful morning sickness) with my partner as I don't want to get excited again. I've got my 12 week scan on Wed and I've been having nightmares the last 3 nights about it. I suspect I'll weep my way into the ultrasound and I'm going to be to scared to look. But - I'm hoping if all is well at this scan I will start to relax a bit. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: Newbie26
Date Posted: 19 August 2009 at 9:44am
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Hi Sasha, I so know what you mean. I have my 13 week scan tomorrow and last night had dreadful nightmares about it. I think once you experience a scan after missed m/c you are never the same. I am a basket case at the moment.
It's certainly not the happy, shiny time you think it's going to be... Good luck girls
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 19 August 2009 at 12:45pm
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i had 4 miscarriages before i had my precious little man.
I spent the whole pregnancy being detached, and honestly it wasnt until we got home from teh hospital that i let myself believe that he was here... I total understand how you feel and its normal, i got through the first 12wks by pretending it wasnt real (while all the time watching what i was eating and drinking etc) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: X
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 5:27pm
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I am in the same boat as you. I have had two miscarriages this year, both at 6 weeks. The doctor says they are not connected in any way (which seems a bit strange to me since they both happened at exactly 6 weeks). I have one healthy 2 year old son. I found out on friday that I am pregnant again. Tomorrow I will be 5 weeks, so only 1 week to go till the dreaded 6 week point. This time round I haven't allowed myself to get excited at all. The apst 2 times I worked out the due date, started thinking about names etc, but this time I'm really detached. It's almost as if I've already decided it won't work out.
My doctor is no help at all. He won't let me have any blood tests or an early scan because he doesn't see the point. He thinks those things will just give me false hope & iot could still all go pear-shaped. I think I'd feel better if I could see hcg levels going up & a heart beat, but he won't budge. Anyway, no you're not being silly-you're just guarding yourself from the disappointment if it doesn't work out. I can understand that. Fingers crossed it really is third time lucky for us! |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 8:03pm
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Oh my god Odenttenz, your doctor is a bit insensitive! I went to a midwife's walk in clinic at week 6 and to reassure me they immediately did an US then arranged serial HCG's. My 12 weeks scan was all good - so maybe it is 3rd time lucky! C'mon little ones. Stick. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 21 August 2009 at 8:19am
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Odettenz - your GP sounds very insensitive - I think I would be considering changing to someone else. I mean you probably wouldn't have a scan until 7 weeks but he should let you have HCGs, esp given your history!
Hugs hun! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: karenm
Date Posted: 21 August 2009 at 8:55am
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Odettenz - I agree with littlestar, you should seriously consider changing GP's. Your doctor should've set up the serial HCG's for you as soon as you told him you were pregnant.
I've had 3 HCG tests now and they were all good so feeling better but know that we're not out of the woods yet. DH and I were talking last night and he said he doesn't feel excited yet either. Pisses me off that m/c not only robs you of a baby but takes the happiness out of subsequent pregnancies 
Scan date booked for 8th Sept - be 8 weeks by then. Fingers crossed.... ------------- 4 x m/c - Sep 08, Mar 09, Oct 09 & Feb 10 |
Posted By: X
Date Posted: 24 August 2009 at 4:04pm
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Yeah definitely time to change GPs. I wasn't going to go back to him when I found out I was pregnant this time but I thought I should just for continuity's sake. If I need a referral to the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic if things go wrong again I thought it might be easier if I had only seen one doctor for all three MCs.
Anyway, I rang my midwife this morning & she said the GP is being an idiot & she is going to post me a form for an early scan right away. She said probably best to wait for next friday to do the scan just in case my dates are a bit wrong. I should be 7 weeks next fri (if I make it there) Anyway, don't know why my GP is being such an insensitive jerk. I'll have to find a new one...maybe a woman. Keep fingers crossed everyone. I think I'm sicker this time than I was the past 2 times, which is a good sign....I hope. |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 1:07pm
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Yay for your MW!!! common sense prevails!!
I changed GPs a few years back when I was at my wits end knowing there was something wrong and always being told there was nothing. Anyways changing GP was the best thing ever - got taken seriously and had all sorts of tests and within a couple of months was all sorted (nothing baby related) Hugs hun - I'm so glad you're feeling sick!! Fingers crossed for you! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 4:36pm
I got my next BFP the very next cycle and i thought i would wait until 8 weeks as it seemed like "most" MCs happen around the 6-7week mark and after people had had scans so they didnt find out until sometimes their 12 week scan.....so that was my theory and it worked for me......i honestly knew this one was gonna stick, and i also knew my last one wasnt going to........and this one i used a total of 25 preg tests to help ease my mind (they were cheap internet ones i bought in bulk so wasnt so bad) but its what helped me get through until my 12 week scan. Good luck and hope this one is a sticky bean for you!!!! |
karenm wrote:Posted By: karenm
Date Posted: 07 September 2009 at 12:43pm
Have my scan first thing tomorrow morning and am fair shi*ting myself 
Have sore boobs, the odd queasy moment and get a metalic taste in my mouth every now and then but other than that no MS. Trying not to read anything into it (my mum said she didn't have any when carrying me or my brother) but it's hard not to second guess every little twinge or hunger pang. Fingers crossed Junior's decided to stick around... ------------- 4 x m/c - Sep 08, Mar 09, Oct 09 & Feb 10 |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 07 September 2009 at 3:11pm
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Hugs and sticky vibes.
Good luck for tomorrow - we'll be thinking of you  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: X
Date Posted: 07 September 2009 at 6:24pm
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Will keep fingers & toes crossed for you Karen. I had my scan on friday & it was such a relief to see a baby & a heartbeat there after my two miscarriages. I know it doesn't mean we are completely in the clear but it did make me feel much better.
Let us know how you get on ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: karenm
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 8:58am
Am happy to report that the scan was all good  Baby measured 8 weeks and hearbeat was 144bpm so looks like this one might be a keeper.
Still doesn't seem quite real though and guess it won't till I start feeling baby move but for now we'll just keep taking one day at a time. ------------- 4 x m/c - Sep 08, Mar 09, Oct 09 & Feb 10 |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 10:04am
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that's awesome...congrats!:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 12:57pm
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YAY!!
I'm so happy for you - I remember what it feels like. I certainly didn't feel at ease until bubs started moving. But - yay, congrats and hugs ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 17 September 2009 at 8:04pm
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I'm so pleased for you!
My fingers and toes are crossed for you!!
Shack  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: karenm
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 4:23pm
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Hi Shack
Thought you might find me on here. Now you know why I wasn't drinking at dinner the other night
Met with my midwife the other day and she's referred me to the specialist. Will book in for 12 week scan at the beginning of Oct - then we'll tell everyone. Can't wait!! ------------- 4 x m/c - Sep 08, Mar 09, Oct 09 & Feb 10 |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 6:53pm
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Don't worry my lips are sealed!
But I must say I had my suspicions when I saw you not drinking! Anyway, it was great catching up and we shouldn't leave it so long next time. All the very very very best! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: karenm
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 12:10pm
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now i know where the saying "you shouldnt count your chickens before they hatch" comes from....
Unfortunately we lost this one as well. Really bad back pain and stomach cramps on sunday then heavy bleeding (incl clots) on Mon & Tues. Off to the doctors tomorrow to get ball rolling on a referral to a specialist. Fingers crossed they can figure out what's going on. ------------- 4 x m/c - Sep 08, Mar 09, Oct 09 & Feb 10 |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 12:15pm
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I'm so sorry Karen
(((HUGS))) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 12:40pm
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oh no:( I'm so sorry to hear that.. *hugs* ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 1:20pm
| Wow I'm so sorry. That must really suck after having a good scan. |
Posted By: Pook72
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 2:46pm
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Oh, my heart goes out to you karenm, so very not fair.
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Posted By: MB1970
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 6:38pm
| So so not fair. Lots of hugs and thoughts heading your way, Karen. |
Posted By: jo1979
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 7:22pm
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I'll add my sorriness to the pile.
Very sorry for your loss and wishing lots of strength for you for the days ahead. But howling too when required. Sometimes only howling will do. |
Posted By: EcoMummy
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 2:28pm
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Thank everyone so much for the things that are written here - it gives me some small amount of hope - I am presently going through my 2nd MC - I just had the healthy 7.5 week wonderful scan with photos and a strong heartbeat and now its friday and we are losing him/her. I know exactly how you feel Karen.
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Posted By: EcoMummy
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 2:31pm
| ps - for those of you with gp's that arent letting you have the scans or tests you want - then I highly recommend ShoreBirth on the NorthShore in Auckland - they never question your feelings and give you everything you want to make you feel secure - I got two scans within 3 days of each other at 7.5 weeks because I wanted it - and although it was bad news it was better than being surprised at work - we now have time to prepare and grieve. |
Posted By: jo1979
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 2:45pm
| So sorry to read about this EcoMummy. I hope you have some good support etc. But I know there's no short cutting grief and ripped-offness.... Hugs. |