Those with toddlers close in age
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23129
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Topic: Those with toddlers close in age
Posted By: Maya
Subject: Those with toddlers close in age
Date Posted: 14 December 2008 at 2:40pm
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How do you deal with sibling rivalry and one child being violent towards/picking on the other?
The gremlins are forever scrapping and it often gets physical. Mercedes is rougher than Sienna, if she doesn't get her own way or Sienna has something she wants she'll push or bite her or pull her hair, but Sienna does give it out occasionally - this morning she bit Mercedes coz Mercedes took her toy. I'm trying to be really consistent and putting the instigator into their bedroom immediately for 2-3 mins even if it means putting lil miss down mid-feed to deal with them (coz of course they always play up when I'm busy feeding!). And after 2-3 mins I go into the bedroom and sit with the instigator and explain why they are in their room and that they can come out when they're ready to play nicely. I don't think they get it tho - the other day I was trying to explain it to Mercedes but she was too busy giving me the lowdown on her soft toys. I'm also trying to distract them so that they don't argue in the first place but that's easier said than done. They fight over everything - if Sienna has a dirty nappy and I go to change her, Mercedes will attack her coz she wants *her* nappy changed first, even if it's not dirty. And if one picks up a toy/book, the other inevitably wants it and snatches it and if I intervene and give it back to the one that had it first the other will attack. They even pinch each others food. I'd love to hear how others handle this sort of behaviour coz atm it seems like Mercedes is a bit of a boomerang backwards and forwards from her room, she spends more time being put in time out than playing. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Replies:
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 14 December 2008 at 6:28pm
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I have a friend with twins the same age as the gremlins and she makes them trade, if they fight over a toy. But they are quite mellow boys and don't fisically fight. Otherwise no idea as I have no experience ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 14 December 2008 at 8:32pm
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I try to spend one on one time with each of them regularly, to help reduce (I hope!) some of the rivalry. I've also been looking at the kids' personalities: Kryssi loves attention and to make people happy, so removing her from the limelight is the best thing for her. Briona is quieter and just wants everyone to be friends so she is a better one to negotiate with/on behalf of.
But ugh... I don't really know what I'd do with two Kryssies!! Twins are my scariest nightmare  ------------- |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 15 December 2008 at 10:46am
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My two scrap all the time as well but I'm no help cos I don't really know how to handle it. Jack understands so he gets sent to time out but then Caprece doesn't so she goes looking for him. I guess they are almost at that stage where they really undertstand so if you keep up what your doing they may stop?
Do they have much time apart? My MIL takes Jack sometimes and it really helps them having time apart. They actually miss each other and play quite nicely when he comes back. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 December 2008 at 9:08pm
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They don't actually have any time apart. I could take one out at a time when the nanny is here but then the one that stays at home gets really upset and they fret for each other. It's funny coz they are so, so close, if Sienna is crying, Mercedes will come up and hug her even if it was her that made Sienna cry in the first place! But they are also totally vicious. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 15 December 2008 at 9:43pm
| Aww thats so sweet, maybe even get the nanny to do something with one and you do something with the other still at home but kind of apart? |
Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 15 December 2008 at 9:45pm
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Emma, i know Anne used to pay attention to the Twin that had been bitten & totally ignore the twin that bit. In her case it was because G was talking & J wasn't (or vice versa, can't memba) so J would bite G cos she was jealous that G could get the message across better than she could. -------------   
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 December 2008 at 9:46pm
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Hmmm, could be worth giving a go. I think that they hate to think they are missing out on something the other is getting. Today they got furious coz Maya and I were in her room working on a project and they had to stay in the lounge with the nanny. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 15 December 2008 at 9:59pm
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oh goodness, well maybe giving attention to the one that was hurt might work then? at least that way the one that did the hurting is actually missing out. i think from memory Anne used to be very obvious about the attention she was giving i.e. obvious that the other one was missing out. -------------
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