Vent about moronic opinions
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Category: Support
Forum Name: Coping with infertility
Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22612
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Topic: Vent about moronic opinions
Posted By: Emily281
Subject: Vent about moronic opinions
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 10:26am
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Just needed to vent about something I read last night and figured this was as good a place as any to do it as you guys might understand.
Anyway I was reading this editorial/blog on a news site last night where the author had received a letter asking for advice. It was from a woman who described herself as a naturalist (hippy not nudist!) and she had this lesbian friend who had decided to have IVF with her partner using an anonymous sperm donor. The hippy had a problem with this not because the friend was gay but because she is against all forms of IVF and creating 'artificial' babies. Anyway the author explained that IVF was a wonderful thing and the babies weren't artificial but were created in the same way as all babies (ie. egg+sperm=baby) and not created using some combination of plastic, paper and chewing gum etc blah blah blah. Anyway this particular blog generated a number of comments and as you can imagine most of them were about gay people having children. BUT some people focused in on the issue of IVF in general. one guy said that IVF was wrong because infertility was nature's way of telling you shouldn't have children. Now when I read that I just had steam coming out of my ears  . I mean seriously how dare he condescending arrogant pr*ck.
What makes him think that it's ok for Nia Glassie's or the Kahui twins' parents to have children just because nature let them while kind decent caring people like my husband and I shouldn't because I have endometriosis and that's natures way of telling me I shouldn't have children. If all life was still about survival of the fittest and weeding out the weak then wouldn't nature make it so that the junkies, paedophiles and child abusers were infertile instead of people who look after themselves and have the kind of personality that allows them to have good stable jobs and actually WANT children. And to go to an extreme (and I don't beleive this at all I'm just trying to show how stupid this guy's comment was) wouldn't 'nature' prevent people who have certain genetic traits that create hereditary diseases from having children. Anyway that's my vent - the guy just made me so made that I wanted to slap him ------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Replies:
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 10:54am
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OMG. I want to smack him too. What an ass! You're absolutely right, if nature weeded out unfit parents then undoubtably you'd have a child and Nia Glassies mother would be sterile. Good luck with TTC. -------------  
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Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 11:36am
Me too what an absolute b@stard!!!
good news your last lap was clear all the best for TTC after your next AF fingers crossed for you chick! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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MrsMojo wrote:Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 5:05pm
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That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard some people just talk for the sake of hearing thier own voice... or read thier own words in this case. It's hard to believe there are people that moronic in this world.
* shakes head * Good luck hun and you have every right to be mad with that statement from a BAS***D ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 5:15pm
 I cannot believe some people have such stupid ideas. I'd want to slap him too
Good luck with the TTCing 
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Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 12:14am
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What a complete tool! It makes me SO ANGRY that ignorant people mouth off like that! Uneducated, arrogant fools who need to put their 2cents worth in when they have absolutely no idea what peoples circumstances are! Its ian ncredibly hurtful comment!
All the best TTC ladies! What stupid people blurt out of their pathetic mouths is their problem!
*still ranting* WHAT A MORON! ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com"> 
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 12:21am
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Wonder if his opinion would be different if he desperately wanted children and him and his partner were infertile? Ignorant tw*t! ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: choco69
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 7:42am
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this guy is a complete idiot! I agree with Jennz if it was him and his partner who couldn't conceive i bet he would feel a whole lot different.
It is so annoying when people who have no idea of the emotional burden TTC is for some of us decide they know better and judge those who don't conceive at the drop of a zipper! Emily am really glad your Lap was clear here's hoping there is a sticky baby in the near future for you |
Posted By: Emily281
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 9:33am
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I knew you ladies would agree!!
It just made me so mad because as the author pointed out if IVF is artificial so is all medical intervention - chemotherapy isn't exactly natural but I bet he wouldn't tell a cancer patient that it was wrong for them to have it because it was natures way of controlling the population. Why is it that because IVF isn't life threatening or something that makes you really sick people don't think that its a legitimate medical condition. Other comments on the article were about how the government shouldn't pay for IVF because it's not something that's medically necessary
And thanks for all the good wishes - I hope all you who are still TTC get your BFPs soon ------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 12:19pm
Hope you do too Emily281  ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com">
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 3:53pm
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Agghh!! That makes me so mad too! some people just don't know when to keep their mouth shut. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: gannet
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 5:42pm
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I have wanted to write something like that about parents like the Kahui's twins and Nia Glassey's, but I wasn't sure if it would be too un-PC, so good on you Emily for doing it.
My job puts me in contact with a lot of parents like them and I just want to throttle the majority of them as they don't realise what a gift they have. Some peoples ignorance and close -mindedness is astounding. Edited so it made sense. |
Posted By: Emily281
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 6:45pm
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Hi Gannet
I was too mad to be PC!! Besides I don't think it necessarily is un-PC as such. I was watching TV the other day and they had someone on there who said there are 60,000 cases of reported child abuse in NZ each year. Even if you were extremely generous and said that 90% of those were unfounded, or repeat offenders, etc that still leaves 6000 child abusers out there. It's just beyond me how people like that can procreate at will (or even without will) while decent people have to struggle for years with infertility and fertility treatments. One thing this journey has taught me is that you never take anything for granted and you appreciate everything you have even if (or especially if) you don't have everything you want. So for some moron to say that it's nature's way of telling us we shouldn't have children just pisses me off. ------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Posted By: kobec
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 7:43pm
| Oh my goodness. Do not even get me started with the Nia Glassie thing. Those creeps are the worst people in the world. How dear they be so cruel to such a precious little princess when soooooo many people would have loved to taken that little girl into their homes and brought her up in the most loving home..........Agrrrrrrrrr. |
Posted By: JenCal
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 1:57pm
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ARGGGHHHHHHHH
I get so upset by these ill-informed idiots.... My initial reaction would be to ask if that means that people who are diagnosed with terminal illnesses are not supposed to live??? It's truly hurtful and pathetic... I had one friend say to me that she hoped that I didn't have to do IVF so that I could have a real baby... WTF!!! These people are seriously demented. I purposely stay away from any public stuff about infertility because it is usually too hurtful to read. |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 2:27pm
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WTF? Does she think IVF means you're off to see Geppetto to get a wooden puppet? I hope she took her foot out of her mouth long enough to apologise for that thoughtless comment. One of my daughters friends was concieved by IVF, I must pinch her to check whether she's real -------------
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Posted By: JenCal
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 2:46pm
 apparently so... and she didn't apologise, she honestly didn't get why I was offended or what was wrong with her comments.
I have given up trying to educate people... |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 3:28pm
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Oooh that would have made me wanna throw the nearest object at whoever wrote that...
We had to use drugs and 'alternative therapy' to get our long awaited and very much wanted baby... and anyone who tries to tell me this baby is 'unnatural' will get a swift kick in THEIR baby making equipment...
and as for chemo... its blardy useless when you need it to work anyways... MIL has been looking forward to being a nana for the first time for so many years... and now she finally has her first on its way... she got told in the same month the cancer is back, and its so aggressive this time that she wont meet this one cos even chemo cant give her long enough.... yet people in prison who are diagnosed with cancer and go on chemo go on to live full lives...grr... sorry for the offtrack rant there... I fully agree that those who have never experienced infertility in any degree have NO idea how hard it is... I was one of those blissfully ignorant of the issues fertility problems can cause until we started trying for this one as DS was quite the suprise... ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 3:28pm
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I get what you mean. Sometimes it's not worth wasting your breath. -------------
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Posted By: AngieBabe
Date Posted: 25 November 2008 at 6:58pm
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FFS I just don't know what to say about thoughtless idiots who have no idea of the heartache of infertility and the yearning for a child when it's proving difficult to conceive! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Some people just don't think before they speak and have absolutely no point of reference for fertility issues so just don't know when they're being extremely hurtful... I got it growing up about being adopted and now I get it about infertility - I do my best to 'educate' by being open about both subjects but there's only so much people will take in and often it's not the emotional things. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Posted By: chickpea
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 9:56am
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I wanna slap the dumb ass too... Some people I guess are just not taught to think before they speak!!
When I was doing IVF I never had any comments about IVF or infertility but my DH did. He came home from work really pst off because some one had told him that IVF was wrong because "creating 'perfect' children was wrong" . I guess they thought we were were going to choose the baby's sex/hair colour/eye colour. SOOOOO IGNORANT!! |
Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 1:33pm
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Unbelievable. The arrogance of some people. I had a lady at my work place say very loudly one day that she does not agree with ivf and told me that I should try for longer. For starters, this lady had only just started working there, we have been trying for many years and oh my gosh!! if we thought we could have babies naturally, does she really think I would put myself through ivf. Some peoples arrogance is mind boggling. What's worse, is when I asked if she even knew what was involved with ivf, she said she had no idea.
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Posted By: Minnie001
Date Posted: 07 December 2008 at 12:32am
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I seriously don't understand some people - ignorant I guess. Scary thing is that sometimes it seems like the real morons are the ones who have NO problem popping out child after child and then indoctorinating the kids into being mini-morons with the same ignorant ideas.
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