What No one told you about Birth & Babies
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15630
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Topic: What No one told you about Birth & Babies
Posted By: KABJ99
Subject: What No one told you about Birth & Babies
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 12:16pm
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Hi All
Not sure if there has been a thread like this before and hopefully those who have already been down the path of Motherhood can offer some advice and information for those of us who are first timers so that we are prepared and not so ignorant. Still have 5 months to go until I give birth but since we started telling people that we were pregnant, my sister and a couple of friends with kids have started telling me stories or giving information that they wish they had known before giving birth to their first. ie. A).Use a pump water bottle with tea-tree oil in it when you pee. Helps relive sting especially if had tearing or stitches B). Put vaseline on babys bum for when the first poos come in as that blacky sticky stuff can be hard to remove C). Take lots of undies and bottoms to the hospital, you could bleed a lot after the birth and its not like a period |
Replies:
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 12:45pm
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Have loads of panadol available afterwards cause if you have a normal VB, the bruising is really uncomfy and pandol is your best friend afterwards. I had no idea I would bruise (totally ignorant!) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 1:15pm
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oh and Arnica Spray is great too.
We packed olive oil for Rowan's bum for the mecconium but we didn't end up using it and it wasn't that hard to remove TBH. I didn't know occasional puking was normal for babies as they often have mucous in their gut that needs to come out. So the only time Rowan puked was the only time I rang my MW in a panic sure that I had somehow poisoned her. It's pretty freaky seeing a jet of partially digested milk erupt out of something that small. -------------  
 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 1:24pm
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i agree...and i didnt know about the after pains and that they were normal.. and that babies all snuffle..i thought he was having an asthma attack or something:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 1:26pm
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Remember not everything goes to plan! I never ever thought I would have to have a c section, but after 27 hours of labour, 3 hours pushing I was rushed in for an emergency c section and I am still dealing with emotions involved with that! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 1:35pm
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oh yeah good point...i was fully prepared for a c section....i thought....because i prided myself on having no birth plan really and just going with the flow and being in hospital and induced i figured i would..but yeah it was still hard to deal with.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 1:35pm
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That it's OK not to be instantly in love with the squirming, gunky, bloody, screaming mess that pops out of you, sometimes it takes time to fall in love with them!
That breastfeeding bloody hurts to start with! The Budget super pads are great for maternity pads as they are surfboard thick so offer lots of cushioning to bruised perineums, and you can wear two at a time. Pineapple juice is great for afterpains (my m/w told me this one after I had Maya). I'm sure I will think of more! Oh yeah, not to let DH hold baby first coz if he's anything like my DH, he won't give the baby back! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 1:37pm
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oh i didnt know bout pineapple juice...
also that babies dont just go right back to sleep:)that the whole process gets repeated every few hours and it sucks at first:)! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 1:55pm
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Isn't it funny what you don't know and people don't tell you!!!
How about that it's normal for the baby to sleep for pretty much the whole first day after it is born to recover from the experience. You can bleed for 4-6 weeks after the birth with the lochia. The first poo after giving birth is one of the scariest moments in your life - you think everything is going to fall out but it doesn't 
A newborn babies tummy is only the size of a marble so although it doesn't feel like you are producing much milk to start with it is plenty! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 1:58pm
And that you should sleep then too! I stayed awake for hours watching Maya sleep, the she woke up and was awake screaming for 2 days, I was shattered!
Yep, I was expressing 3 whole ml of colostrum for the gremlins at Birthcare, yet within days my milk came in and I was flooded! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Mum2Sam wrote:Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 2:28pm
Hehe this thread brings back memories!!
Esp that one Maya - its ok not to love them at first sight, I know I didn't it definately took me time to actually find I loved this little person. One of my memories is that straight after giving birth to J I swore I was never doing that again!! lol and here I am, famous last words!------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: thunderwolves
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 2:32pm
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heres one to do with labour.. When your waters break, thats not it, you just keep leaking. I had no idea i though that when they broke and it all came out, that was is, not that it never stops.... ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 2:35pm
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oh and that only 15% of peoples waters break spontaneously. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 3:05pm
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Oh just remembered this one "breastfeeding is so natural"......what a load of bollocks, its the hardest thing I have EVER had to learn to do! I had no idea it takes 6 to 8 weeks to actually learn the art of b/f and only then I would actually start to enjoy it! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 3:35pm
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That babies don't know how to sleep you have to teach them. Even though I have experienced that I still can't believe it, I mean really of all things not to know how to do. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: MelandBri
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 3:53pm
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I was not prepared for the pain I would experience after the birth. Going to the toilet was hell. Ural is another good thing to take, it stops some of the stinging when weeing.
Once your milk comes in, breastmilk is a wonder cure for any scrapes, blisters on your nipples. |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 3:57pm
same as me.........a year and a half later, i'm STILL coming to terms with it 
------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 3:58pm
And that this does NOT mean they will continue to do this the next day and the next!! The sweeling/bruising surprised me - no one told that would happen! Also the biggest one for me was that 1 or 2 pushes does not push a baby out (for most of us!). I never realised that you could push for 2 hours before getting a baby to hold... and that whatever you go through - it will be all worth it in the end! ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 4:32pm
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if you lean over and touch the floor with your hands while weeing it doesn't hurt as much (if you have had stitches or graze)
Drink the kiwi crush it will help that dreaded first poo out. Holding it in is not a good idea. Take nice soft loo paper to the hospital, scratchy stuff isn't so great when you have had stitches. |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 5:27pm
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And if you do have an elective C-section the baby may not sleep through the night as it hasn't had to do as much work.
I never knew that about pineapple juice - I'll definitely have to try that next time. Makes you wonder why they give you orange juice in the hospital. oh and if you're silly (like me) and ignore the advice to sleep or at least put your feet up when the baby sleeps (like me) then it will probably affect your milk. edited to clarify elective c not emergency c -------------
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 5:30pm
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oh yep me too:) and my boy had to go through labour as well so i didnt know that bout c section.. (the things you learn)
oh and that bubs will feed non stop every few weeks because hes going through a growth spurt.. you havent done anything wrong!:)! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: kobec
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 6:28pm
Wow this does bring back memories.  Well here is my list.
* Totally agee about nobody telling you about the afterpains. I almost think they were worse that the labour itself!!! *Take your own panadol as the nurses sometimes treat you as a "slight druggie" if you dare ask for your next lot before the 4 hrs are up!!! *That brestfeeding is the hardest thing that I have ever done (and I had to give up at 3 mths as it still stung everytime I fed) I will definatly be taking my pineapple juice next time. |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 6:33pm
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If you are planning to breastfeed, make sure you get shown time and time again until you are comfortable doing it by the time you go home - my mum told me this and if I didn't continuously ask, I might not have felt as confident at home. Ask the nurses, that's what they are there for!
It was only once I got home (2 days later) that breastfeeding got a bit easier. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 6:50pm
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though if you are at CWH be careful..every nurse tells you different and you end up more confused and upset.....esp if you there for 4 days!! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 6:54pm
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ooh that reminds me - there are lactation consultants in the hospital (well there is at North Shore and I'm pretty sure there's one in each hospital). Use them - even if you think you've mastered it get them to have a look. They're free.
Also when the hospital MW's were helping I would ask them what they were doing and how they did it. Yes you get a lot of different info but I learnt swaddling, burping, bathing, cup feeding, feeding schedules, settling etc. all in the hospital. The Midwives loved to share what they were doing and they were all so lovely. -------------
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Posted By: rosewood
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 7:36pm
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Here's mine...
Babies quite often like to be fed from one breast more than the other initially. Its ok if baby doesnt feed much in the first 24 hours. They will soon feed when hungry. Nipples do get sore (bloody sore) at times. Lansinoh cream worked well for me or a cabbage leaf in the bra. Its OK not to breast feed. I struggled at first but was so determined that I would bf after nothing in my birth plan went the way I wanted it to. I did succeed and bf for 7 months. Friends of mine who couldnt bf felt that there was a lot of pressure from society to bf. You have to do what you are comfortable with. My DD developed conjunctivitis (sp?) at 2 weeks old. I was told that the best cure was to squeeze breast milk into her eye. Weird I thought but gave it a go and it cleared up within 24 hours! ------------- Gill http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 7:45pm
 ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 8:30pm
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Don't tick the orange juice option with your meal - acidic stuff is BAD for stitches! lol
Ask about the lactation consultants, at St Georges I missed out as we got there 4 hours late. That its def OK not to BF. I couldn't (well I could, but Jack couldn't latch and was mucousy). I still expressed for 2 weeks just cos I felt so bad, but it just wasn't going to work. Get a breastpump! It means your not constantly tied to the baby. Totally agree about the bonding thing - I didn't fully appreciate Jack and the love I had for him until he went onto the bottle and got his first proper feed at 3 days old |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 8:44pm
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This is a topic I could write a novel on. I totally agree with Emma. Quick births especially can leave you in shock and your first thought may be "what the f!!! do I do now?". I will add it's ok to ask someone else to take your baby while you push out the placenta/shower afterwards/just take a much needed rest.
The first poo is really scary but putting pressure on your your perenium up with toilet paper while you go helps keep everything in place. Some of the after birth clots are massive - don't worry if you pass a grapefruit sized clot a few days after birth. Even if you've had a drug free vaginal birth you may still need a cathetar afterwards. Bring a change of clothes - your waters may break earlier but there's often more hindwaters that come out in a rush with the baby. Be clear with your support people what you want before the labour/birth as you may not have the time or energy to ask for it during. You're the only one that knows what you're feeling, trust your instincts and even if your midwife/md/support people are telling you your wrong persist until they listen. Your lochia may continue for a month after birth but if it remains as heavy as it was initally you should get it checked - each placenta is different and they can't ever guarantee that it all came out. Mothering is so natural even animals do it, trust yourself and try not to read too many parenting 'bibles'. Ignore all 'averages' your baby is unique and if they don't sleep as much etc it is not a reflection on you. Don't be scared to ask questions, other mums have been there and are always willing to offer advice and support. Sleep when you can. Day or night. Ignore the washing/dinner/dishes etc and sleep. -------------  
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Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 9:11pm
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Buy some mens undies... Perfect size for wearing 2 surfboard type pads for a while during the lochia!
C-Section - Use a sanitary pad on your wound to keep it dry and fresh! Easier to change than having sticky dressings on it First movements after an epidural... Have someone there to hold your hand. DON'T try to move on your own, you'll end up on the floor Have someone you trust help you in the shower for the first few times.. I could barely move below the waist and it STUNG to wash and I got quite dizzy from the meds ASK QUESTIONS!!!!!! -------------  
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 9:18pm
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Oh yeah, another one:
No one told me what an empowering experience birth could be. After an OK but not earthshattering birth first time round I was absolutely shocked to find myself feeling absolutely involved in the whole process and working 100% with my body to birth numbers two and three. I am still in awe of how great it was, it was the most defining experience of my life. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 9:26pm
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the waters breaking thing... i too never knew that it kept going and it shocked the hell out of me...
umm, sometimes stitches arent the best thing and your body can heal better without them. what worked for one person may not work for you, esp in regards to pain relief. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 11:12pm
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I also want to add:
You are not a failure when your babies routine goes to pot! They change constantly. Just when you think you have it sorted - they will change it. Just go with the flow
Being at home alone with a baby is harder than any other job I have ever done! Don't let anyone make you feel like it should be natural and easy and you must be doing something wrong!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 11:13pm
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Oh, and if somebody comes to visit and offers to do dishes/washing or cook you a meal, TAKE THE OFFER!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 25 March 2008 at 11:33pm
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sometimes they cry and cry and cry and there is nothing you can do except put them down make a cuppa or walk to the letterbox...have a breather and come back to it in five mins...
Oh and you have the right to change midwives if the one you originally chose isnt working for you...and when in hospital afterwards, you have the right to request a certain nurse/mw not be assigned to look after you if you dont agree on things, or you think she is a bitch. You have the right to question what your mw or doc suggests you do if you believe it isnt right for you or your baby. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 7:47am
..and sometimes you will cry and cry and cry - you don't need a reason. Also online grocery shopping is a wonderful innovation. -------------
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Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 8:05am
I think I nearly went into shock while in labour with Seb, and nothing seemed real afterwards... I pretty much had my midwife over for an appointment when I was 38+3 and figured I had at least another week to go! she analysed me said I had P.E and bundled me off to the hospital organising for me to stay overnight and be induced the next day... I'm not sure if I'm grateful that first day didn't work and it took another lot of gel, or ungrateful as I hated staying in hospital. To boot his labour was 4 hours from the word go. The pain was really intense as it didn't get a chance to build up really... And I have to say that some of us do only have to push a couple of times! And I had expected it would be long and hard  I don't want to think what kind of state I would've been in if I hadn't had the pain-free (or seemed like it in comparison to transition at least!) pushing stage to clear my head. -------------  
 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 8:21am
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ok when your milk comes in your boobs can feel like rocks use wram flannles and massages to get them flowing again
go in with a open mind not everything will go to plan with your brith ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 8:38am
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Totally agree with Emmas comment about it being an empowering experience - first time was horrible, but second I feel like I basically did it all myself and I'm so proud of that. Managed to cope at home until 9cm, then told the midwife when I was ready to push and she was out 3 minutes later! It still blows me away thinking about how great the experience CAN be.
And trust your instincts with your baby - if you feel something isnt quite right and the health professionals keep dismissing your concerns, find someone who will listen. You are not just a paranoid mother. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:12am
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It's all come flooding back to me!
* They definately grow on you! I was so exhausted after not sleeping for 3 days prior to the birth (due to longgg labour), that when baby finally arrived, it was abit anti-climatic. *Was completly unprepared for how sore I'd feel afterwards (bum, boobs, legs etc). Took about 5 weeks to feel okay again. * Hypercal lotion was great for dabbing on stitches. *Bfing hurts and takes lots of practice and perseverence. Is definately worth sticking at it, as it does get better and easier. *Wear hospital gowns, as there is lots of blood in the days afterwards! * Keep a notebook to write down babies feed, sleeping times etc. *Record your birth experience soon after the event, as you forget details. I'm sure I'll think of more.. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:12am
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That happened to me too, but there are lots of different ways to feed, and lots of advice. You have to pick and choose what suits you best really. I was more concerned by the fact that my DD wasn't interested in feeding, due to being mucousy. Luckily when we got home and my milk came in, she started to feed [/QUOTE]
yes but i was so doped up and in shock after such a 'horrific' as my mw put it birth experience that i as just doing what i was told.. and i had no idea what i was doing..i would follow advice then the next nurse would get me to change:( next time will be much easier but far out i was so confused!:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: KABJ99
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:33am
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Ladies this is great!
Thank you for all the information. Please keep it coming for all of us who are ignorant of these things. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:53am
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Ask your LMC for a copy of your labour and delivery notes, and have a debrief with your LMC afterwards. I found it helpful with "processing" my births afterwards to be able to go over a chronological list of events, and when I was pregnant with the gremlins, found it useful to read over Maya's birth notes to refresh my memory. Friend's who's births didn't go according to plan say it's even more important to get a copy of your notes to help you with coming to terms with things. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 10:43am
I'm just wondering why this would be so? This is something I have experienced after birth, but would like to prepare myself for it needed! Someone also mentioned change your midwife if you feel she isn't right for you. I did this with my 3rd baby. While I felt guilty to start with, I knew it was best for me (and baby) that I had a midwife I liked and trusted to take care of me. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 12:02pm
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Wow this does bring it all back.
I second the toilet paper comment. I got Dh to bring me in roll after roll of it....get the softest stuff you can find. Hospital paper and stitches etc DONT go together. if you have size options on your meals always tick the largest....you might be hungry later. and remember it is hospital food..sandwiches are hard to stuff up, fish casseroles on the otherhand...... 
Shower morning and night....you will feel human again. I would have a long shower when DH arrived in the evening and only a short one in the morning. If bubs isnt settling in hospital in the middle of the night dont be afraid to take him/her out to the MWs...they love to cuddle a baby while you sleep. MWs are there to help you....use them!!!! and keep asking questions. If they get sick of you rememeber you will be out of there soon enough....drive them nuts in the meantime...they are paid! baby blues can go on longer than a day or 2 and they suck! Dh's need to be prepared to take the odd day off just to be with you...its scary being alone with a new bubs |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 12:11pm
So true! I arrived at the hospital with my 4hr baby (transferred) and said that there was no way I would give him away to a nurse for the night... at 2am it was a different story - we all got 4 hours sleep with him sleeping in the nurses station. Also, I found the baby blues went on for nearly 2 weeks. Just cry and let eveyone help - don't worry about crying etc... all normal! ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: MorgansMum
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 1:18pm
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Witch hazel is great to put on pads after birth ( very soothing) ------------- Morgan, Libby http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 1:58pm
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i dont know if this has already been mentioned, but no-one warned me about the "raw chicken breast" looking clots that sometimes follow after birth.(sorry if TMI!) i was absolutely mortified in the shower after giving birth. they continued when i got home too! ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 3:13pm
yes but i was so doped up and in shock after such a 'horrific' as my mw put it birth experience that i as just doing what i was told.. and i had no idea what i was doing..i would follow advice then the next nurse would get me to change:( next time will be much easier but far out i was so confused!:) [/QUOTE] Same here after my "horrific" emerg C/S. You are so out of it for at least a week it really is best you have a support person with you as much as possible to be your brain 
I still only have a very scattered memory of Caitlin's first few days - I don't even remember holding her for the first time 
Also, if you do have a "bad" experience, I can't stress enough how important it is to debrief with your MW or birthing partner/s. I felt fine about it for about 4 months, then it all came crashing down on me, all of the questions and the guilt "surely it was all my fault!!!". I requested my labour notes and a meeting with my FANTASTIC M/W and was much happier about it after that. - Remember YOU need to be looked after too! It's not all about the baby. - If anyone asks if they can help with anything, the main thing I needed but never got was meals! Get people to make you a ton of frozen healthy dinners or else you'll all live on take aways. Not good for the post baby figure or the budget. - Have arnica and rescue remedy in your hospital bag - Have an open mind! Just because you read it somewhere/was told something doesn't mean it will happen to you - C/S mum's don't always have bonding issues! They can BF along with the best of the VB mums - Make sure you have good continuity of care, even after your MW discharges you from her care. Plunket didn't pick us up until Caitlin was nearly 9 weeks old! In the meantime we had a CRAP locum GP, I gave up BFing and C had a reaction to her 6wks jabs
- If you can't BF, no matter the reason, you have NOT failed your child - I was admanent I would not get PND. So made myself get out and about even in the early days. Helped for me. - Go easy on yourself. If you achieve 2 of the 10 things you set out to do in a day, good on ya! Even if those 2 were "have shower" and "get dressed"
- Remember the Daddy is going through this as much as you are. Be there for each other, talk about things that scare you as well as the good stuff. **whoopsies... slight novel **------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 6:22pm
I had not been able to wee for over 7 hours. I didn't feel the urge to go but my bladder was so swollen you could see it pushing out my right hand side and it was preventing my uterus from shrinking properly. My midwife was great and picked up on it straight away, used the smallest cathetar she could find (so as not to hurt me too much) and stayed in the bathroom with me while my bladder drained. -------------
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 7:28pm
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Also remembered if you have a blocked duct a great way to unblock it is to feed your baby so that their chin is kneading the lump - effectively massaging the blockage out. This may mean you need to manouvere into an odd feeding position. My blockage was above my nipple close to the top of my cleavage so I had to prop myself up on cushions and lie Michaela across my body with her legs over my shoulder to get the lump moved but it prevented mastitis and babies are better at massaging milk out of your breasts than anything else. -------------
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 7:52pm
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two blondinis- i totally agree.. to all of it esp the showering and getting dressed bit..week 1 it was hard to do even that.. and the doped up bit sucked..i was prepared for it to not all go perfect but it couldnt have gone much worse:( and as you say the next few days are kinda blurry..
oh and another...people really do mean well when they say it will get easier.. it really will even though at the time you want to hit them everytime they say it:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 8:04pm
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When you send out texts to people to announce the big arrival, DON'T tell them you are up for visitors. The gremlins were born at 8pm, had a shocking first night and the following morning I had 17 visitors all at the same time. They meant well, but damn it was too much for me to handle and I ended up exhausted! I should have told people to hold off visiting till the following day.
Send out food orders! I got brought kebabs, ham rolls, pasta, juice, cream donuts... they DON'T feed you enough in hospital and visitors don't mind bringing food. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 8:14pm
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Another good way to get rid of blocked ducts is to lie baby flat on the bed and sort of hang over them so your boobs are hanging straight down. You may need help with this position or you would want bubs to be able to latch properly.
If you have a really bad night, don't even bother getting fressed and keep sleeping while baby sleeps until you have had enough sleep (even if it means you get up at 7pm) |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 8:20pm
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I agree with Maya - We got DH to include in the text the words 'ring first to arrange a visit' and he was able to screen visitors and also tell them (nicely)to leave when I was starting to get too tired. So so glad he did that.
Also agree with the bonding after a C-sect. I bonded with my daughter the moment she was put on my chest which is something I didn't expect even with a vaginal birth. -------------
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Posted By: thomasina
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:02pm
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Thanks for all this advice! Its great. Keep it coming.. ------------- 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:52pm
I had to do that, my m/w called it gravity feeding and drew my a stick man sketch of how to do it...lol -------------
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:57pm
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When you get home let everyone know your visiting hours. That way you can have an hour when people can visit so that you dont have an overwhelming stream of visitors all day for a couple of weeks after giving birth- exhausting!
If you are monitored for whatever reason through your labour ask for a laxy and empty your bowels at some stage. No one told me and they wouldnt let me because I was too close to giving birth. Oh well, they had to deal with the consequences
Dont be afraid of stitches, they are nothing compared to a graze. I peed in the shower everytime I needed to go for about a week. ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 10:12pm
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-you will feel so much better at 6 weeks. It is a magic date. I would never have believed it but thats about when you feel human (and get rewarded with a smile or two).
-if bubs arrives late in the evening, think about texting in the morning. you forget that all those texts you send are all going to come back and sometimes you just want some peace |
Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 11:18pm
Thanks MrsMojo...I had no idea that could happen!
This can also be a natural part of birthing. I had no urge to go at all with my 2nd, but near the end it happened. I was told this is natural and also means baby is very close to arriving. That birth was also very quick for me (an hour at hosp) and I went into shock afterwards....body didn't go through the transititional stages gradually, did it all at once! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 8:29am
So was I , but it still happened. Its not your fault. Tell people, DO NOT try and cope on your own. Its ok if you cant remeber when you last dusted/vacummed etc! Looking after yoursefl,...resting is more important than housework. But eating well is important too,...dont live on toasties or takeaways.
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Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 9:23am
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I didnt get told alot.
I was told birthing was natural and i knew yeah some have to have csections but i was ignorant to the idea and everythign was sugar coated for me which sucked, esp when i had forceps with episiotomy and yes pump bottle of water great for peeing with stitches. I was told bfeeding is normal, noone told me not everyone can do it so when i couldnt feed james i worked myself up real bad thinking i was a bad mother because i had to formula feed. afterpains after number 2 i wasnt told they were way more painful till AFTER i had james, and noone told me they would last for alot longer to. and i never knew how painful it was when milk came in OUCH!! esp when i couldnt feed james at all at least with haleigh i could for a short while so i got the initial engorging out of the way before i ahd to stop. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 10:27am
| Ooo yeah another one do all your reading about breastfeeding before baby arrives. Once your milk comes in you can't even think about feeding let alone read about it without getting a let down (milk spraying everywhere) which can really hurt to start off with. |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 12:19pm
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During the first few weeks, if you can time your visitors when DH or someone else is around. I found it hard work having 1 on 1 conversations with people during the first few weeks.
At least when someone else was around I was able to zone out. Also don't be afraid to tell someone to leave cos you're tired. I was and it lead to me being extra exhausted for the rest of the day. Have a set window of time for visitors to come to the hospital. My girls were in Neonatal so could only get visitors between 3 and 6. This meant that I had the rest of the day to rest. Also they would only stay in my room for a few minutes and DH would take them down to see the babies then. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 1:01pm
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i never experienced "let down" with my first son while bf. i also never experienced the "ring of fire" with him either... it wastn till my second child that i got any of that... oh and i never got after pains either, with either child.
so expect them but dont be surprised if you dont get them... Oh and babies skin can get quite spotty and ugly. My second child was covered in milk spots and then got a heat rash too, he was the spottiest, blotchiest, baby i had ever seen. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 2:31pm
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I wasn't prepared for how much blood there would be just after giving birth. I didn't make it to Antenatal classes so I had no idea about a lot of stuff to do with the actual birth. I remember having a shower then getting dressed, then the MW told me I had to go wees before I left delivery. I pulled down my knickers and couldn't get onto the toilet seat without blood dripping EVERYWHERE! I didn't realise how heavy it would be and the dumb hospital midwife that delivered Ash wasn't exactly forthcoming with information. When I went to have a shower she handed me 2 maternity pads but didn't actually say to use both at once. I thought she had just given me one as a spare so needless to say I laeked everywhere quite quickly lol! It does settle down after a day or so though or even quicker. But the blood clots are Sorry way tmi but a couple of times I had to go to the loo and get a handful of toiletpaper and physically pull them out ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 4:17pm
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I too was not prepared for HUGE blood clots. I passed one in the shower and had to push it down the plughole with my toes There was nothing else I could do!!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 4:40pm
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If you have a c/s get someone to bring you in an inflatable cushion or some other type of cushion cos I found that my arse would go numb while I sat feeding and cos of the surgery it was near impossible to shift position with baby still latched and was impossible to unlatch baby put him in the bassinet then move etc cos of being so sore and so unable to move about.
If you need to throw up (the concoction of drugs made me spew less than 24 hours after the surgery) then try to hold the wound area either with a pillow or the blankets and if unable to make to the toilet or even get the little spew bucket thing then throw up on the bed it is easier for the mw to clean up than on the floor -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 7:34pm
| hmmm, how about that just because you think your baby is the most amazing to ever be born that not everyone will be thrilled to see yet another set of prints of your little darling....some people just arent "baby people" ( freaks i know haha) |
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 7:57pm
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Remember to drink lots!!!
I didn't drink enough after the birth of Ethan... I felt like I had a double decker bus up my butt..... I was sooooooo constipated... So drink, drink, drink!!!!! ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 8:28pm
Same here! And don't let anyone make you feel guilty for it!! (My MIL told me I wasn't looking after my DD properly cause of this)  ------------- My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 8:33pm
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Your tummy, WILL feel like a mashmellow, it will feel weird, the skin just doesn't bounce back again, it's been stretched and will stay that way, for a fair while probably.
I second the things said about someone helping you to the shower, I remember after having paris i stood up for the first time when i got in the shower, and half way thru the shower felt like all my insides that had been squished up for the past 9 mths just all of a sudden fell back down into place.. It was horrible, Get a chair and sit down in the shower. Some babies dopn't sleep for the 24hrs afterwards, some cluster feed, this is constant, non-stop feeding, you just put them down, they sleep 10 mins, then they're up again. Go with it, this is their way of bringing in your milk - Ayja did this for the first 2 days non-stop, then continued on a fairly regular schedule of 2 hourly feeds for the first 6 days..yeah i was exhausted, but she gained half to full pounds each week for the first month or so. IF you find that around the 6 week mark your previously great BF baby starts screaming at you, choking or p[ulling away, It might be that since your milk supply has increased, your let down reflex has too - I had this both times, with my 1st it was the beginning of the end of breastfeeding it was all downhill from there. With ayja, I learnt that she would pull off just as let down was starting as she learnt to avoid the sudden overwhelming amount of milk that would choke her. I learnt to have a towel handy, place it over the breast for a min or so till the flow settled down, then put her back on. After a week or so she got better and i didn't have to do that anymore. Don't put off feeding baby just cos you have visitors, I found this hard because i couldn't be discreet and didn't want to appear rude. Go into the bedroom and feed baby in there, they won't mind, you may even come back out to find a cuppa waiting for you (you can ask them to make one while you're in there) EAT! breastfeeding makes you hungry, it makes you thirsty, and alot of problems come about when you forget that you're still kinda eating for 2. Once i learnt to have some jam on toast and a milo after my late night feeds, i stopped having problems with low blood sugar etc. If you find yourself feeling blue for far too long, if you find yourself worrying about baby so much you can't sleep, if you find yourself isolated and too scared to leave the house, or sitting waiting for your man to come home cos you're completely freaked out by this tiny thing depending on you - get help, go see your doc, tell someone. It's so not worth trying to deal with it on your own, people won't think you're nuts, you won't loose your baby and life will get better. If you don't know whether to laugh or cry, - laugh, crazily, maniacally, makes it easier to handle things sometimes. Remember in the hardest times that this too shall pass, For the birth - don't always trust that first births will be long, if in doubt, check it out, if i hadn't just gotten my midwife to check me 2 hours after contractions started "just in case" then i'd never have known i was going to be fully dialated 15 minutes later. Trust your instincts too, like others have said, again, had i not just trusted my body, and gone to the hospital anyway even though my midwife had said "come in if it makes you feel better but you don't sound very far along" - I'd have had Ayja on the bathroom floor. Trust in the fact that when your daughter at age nearly 5, starts smelling like "fashion girl" shampoo and strawberry lipgloss, you are going to miss when you used to pick her up and have that whispy hair brushing your cheek, when she smelt like warm milky sweet baby powder, and when the most you had to worry about was how long it had been since the last dirty nappy. Hold your baby tight, and take the time to breathe them in, they grow up too fast and you soon learn that you're not going to be able to sheild them from the world forever (can you tell i'm scared about the speed at which my girl's reaching school age!?) ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 8:42pm
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Good points Janine, I felt many of those things you have mentioned above.
Also if you feel like having a damn good cry, do so, it makes you feel a whole lot better! I cried for nearly 3 whole days, thinking back now, I don't even know why I was crying but it made me feel so much better! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 8:45pm
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[QUOTE=jaxs]Hehe this thread brings back memories!! Same! But 8 weeks after birth I forgot how much it hurt and how scary it is having this little baby totally dependant on you! You will feel tied down no matter how much help you get Oh and if you have a baby girl it is normal to find some blood in the nappy in the first week ... DH and I rang our midwife in a panic! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 9:52pm
OMG Janine, I had an identical moment leaving Ella's room earlier. Hubby is completely baffled by me sitting here all emotional about it now, lol! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 10:10pm
OMG! I had completely forgotten about that! Yep absolutely and those damn hospital beds are not very soft!-------------
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 10:37pm
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I'll second (or third?) the blood clots! No-one told me about them and I FREAKED OUT when I passed a massive one the next day in hospital. I was in the toilet at the time, but panicked and rang the emergency bell they have in there twice and three midwives came running all to find me standing there wondering if they had missed part of the placenta or what was going on. They were not amused - but it was an honest mistake!!
------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 11:11pm
------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 11:18pm
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Sometimes you will hate it, hate it, hate it and sometimes you will be bored out of your skull.
And them something great happens and makes it all ok again. Not every baby sleeps well, not every child automatically sleeps through from 6 weeks, or even 6 months or even 12 months or even two years. It is normal, you are not the only one, it does suck, but its NOT YOUR FAULT.. (well, not much, lol) Your sex drive may dissapear completely You might literally p!ss yourself laughing (or sneezing or jumping, running, bending etc) Your tops will all seem too short You have just done the most amazing thing ever. Congratulate yourself and let your visitors make YOU a cuppa, clever girl. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 28 March 2008 at 7:04am
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Yeeees!
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: chonni
Date Posted: 28 March 2008 at 3:18pm
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your baby may have some milk coming out of its nipples, and if u have a girl mucus like a 'show' may come out and also blood. and thoese after pains i was crying on the ground about a week after mila was born in pain almost went to hospital but they were calming down ------------- 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 28 March 2008 at 3:26pm
I went through this the first day of school a few weeks ago... all those nights wishing she would just be all grown up so i can get some sleep!!! i sat in her classroom on her first day, thinking she'd need me there to hold her hand. She was sitting on the mat and said "mum... you can go now"
------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 28 March 2008 at 9:01pm
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Aww Janine you made me cry I'm scared enough that Jack is nearly half way there.
You may think you are the skinniest thing ever, but weirdly your old clothes don't fit. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 5:04pm
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But , you'll have a radar that picks up all the skinny woman in your sight range...and you will sigh and tug your (too short) top over those extra bits of erm,padding where your hips used to be , and continue on your way
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Posted By: BessieBear
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 5:44pm
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Ok sorry about this but i really have no clue to begin with i had no idea what happend to the cord after it's cut then discovered that it's attatched to the placenta but now i have discovered you have to give birth to the placenta aswell!!! So what is it like pushing out another head or does it simply fall out or what??? It's really actually quite gross when i think about it, ------------- Sarah Mum to, Boy 07/2008, Girl 03/2010, Boy 05/2012, Angel 07/08/2014
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Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 6:10pm
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LOL, sarahbetha, usually you get an injection which helps your body expel the placenta. I don't even remember that part, so don't think any pushing was involved. Some people prefer to deliver it naturally, which takes around 30 minutes. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 6:43pm
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usually? I'm pretty sure the "norm" in NZ is to birth the placenta naturally unless it's taking a very long time. You may not even feel it come out... it's NOTHING compared to a head lmao. your MW will just get you to squat over an ice cream container or something, and push it out. -------------
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 7:36pm
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i remember some pressure with the placenta, but no pain - and I ha stitches with one, and a graze with another.
the placenta is fascinating The umbilical cord is NOT like cutting steak - it's "chewy" um...what else....Calling a baby in utero any name, means it's difficult to call them by their actual name for ages....Taine was B2 for about three weeks. |
Posted By: monster
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 8:10pm
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Sarahbetha - My placenta was 'born' naturally - it only took 6 minutes, one little push and it just slid out. -------------   
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 8:16pm
you what???!!! i never had to squat over anything !!!!
they gave me an injection to help expel it - my choice. and it was over pretty quickly. and i didnt have to squat over anything! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 8:31pm
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Yep, the ecbolic injection is pretty routine to help expel the placenta, but it's part of the birth plan you discuss before the birth with your LMC and you can choose to birth the placenta without it altho it usually takes longer.
I had the ecbolic injection both times and the placentas came really quickly, and it's not anything like birthing another head (thank God!) it kinda just slides out. I've also seen a placenta manually removed after it got stuck and let me tell you, it wasn't pleasant to watch, I can only imagine what it was like to actually experience! And yep, like Liz said, the cord is tough as boots, I cut Maya's, and my friends wee boy's, and it's the weirdest thing. One thing I do want to know tho is what happens with the placenta when you have a c-sect? Do they just peel it away or do you have to have the ecbolic shot or what? ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 8:39pm
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Emma they lift the baby out and cut the cord, then they pull out the placenta by hand and give it to the m/w for an inspection as normal!
No ebolic shot or anything as far as I am aware (or what I can remember anyway)! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 8:49pm
I agree! Stuff having to squat over something just after you have pushed out a baby! I imagine it would feel like your insides are coming out lol. All 3 times, I was still on my back for the placenta delivery (I had all 3 kids on my back, couldn't manage other positions). ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 9:54pm
Everyone is right when saying its not like pushing another head out....but you can experience more contaction pains while the placenta is coming away from the uterus. You may find that your mw will help it by gently pulling the cord to assist. But when it comes out, its soft and doesnt hurt like a head. More like jelly. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 11:02pm
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I had ecbolic both times to expel the placenta, first time because I was exhausted after long posterior birth and second because it was taking a while to come naturally.
Midwife was most amused when she injected me and I said "Freaking OW!" She was like "You just gave birth and you're complaining about a tiny needle?!" LOL ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 11:32pm
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I birthed the placenta with no injection, just breast feeding (which releases hormones to help expel the placenta naturally). I actually found it quite an effort to push out, but nowhere near as much effort as that required to push DD out! And it is soft. I just wasn't expecting it to be such an effort, everyone told me it should come very easily. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 7:38pm
Yes! That happened to me, my midwife said "it sounds like you still have quite a while to go" and I got there and was 8cm dilated, and she was born not that long after! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 8:04pm
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I didn't have the injection but it just fell out eww it was gross. I was in the bath and I just stood up and it came out so then I got on the bed. It can't have been very long cos I hardly got to hold bubs before it was placenta time. I guess either way is pretty similar.
Oh yeah the cord is blue |
Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 1:16pm
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I remember having to push quite hard to get placenta out but it wasnt painful like a bubs head. Apparently I got the ecbolic injection but I cant remember it as I had had an epidural. And yes, I still could feel pain with delivering bubs even with an epidural but it was bearable and gave me notice of when to push on the contractions - I actually enjoyed that part (I know Im crazy).
Did anyone find their bub vomited a clear mucous about approx 6 hrs after birth? I panicked as nobody had told me that it could happen and we were alone in the car travelling 2 1/2 hours across country from the hospital to a maternity unit. To make it worse we were in the middle of nowhere and didnt even have cellphone coverage - we just cleaned up and had to keep on driving. Scary stuff! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  [/url http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 2:40pm
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I just thought of one more! Once they learn to self settle then when they wake up don't rush in and pick them up if they aren't grizzling or crying. Took me a while to realise that if I just left her alone she'd go back to sleep quite happily and sleep just as long again (usually). -------------
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