help needed: Re Toddler waking
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14613
Printed Date: 22 July 2025 at 10:57am
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Topic: help needed: Re Toddler waking
Posted By: Kazzle
Subject: help needed: Re Toddler waking
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 9:27am
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Oh boy the past 2mths have been a nightmare at night, Rhi is waking 2-6 times a night, wont go down till late...is sleeping about 3 hours in the middle of the day from about 10-1pm.
I take her out during the day to tire her out, we go to the park etc....cant blame her molars, just dont know what to do.. need to stop this coming into our room and waking us, and wanting to get into our bed...maybe im just gonna have to get tough...i CANNOT do the cry out method, its too heartbreaking, and she makes herself so sick with distress that its more trouble than its worth...but any other ideas would be great ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 9:38am
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maybe its time to cut out or limit her day sleep... and you have to be consistent when it comes to night waking... with toby i used to just put him back in his bed but sometimes it was so hard and so tempting to just let him climb in. but if you do that once then they expect it again and again... they are very persistent, more so than their parents i have found, and we just have to take a leaf out of their books, pick a method and stick to it. good luck. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 9:48am
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Charlotte and Rhiannon are about the same age give or take a day or 3. We have always had problems and in the end, we have had to give in and she sleeps with us. Its more for my sanity than anything else, I could not wake up 2-6 times a night and then still get up at 5am to come to work.
I have been told that eventually she will grow out of wanting to sleep with us every night. I do transfer her to her bed sometimes (when I haven't fallen asleep at 8pm with her like last night - oops!) But she has to be in a very deep sleep for me to be able to do it because otherwise its tears and screaming, which like you, I can not cope with - I feel too mean. She will sleep some nights entirely in her own but more often than not, we get her climbing into our bed at about 3-4am. I guess it depends on what you guys can put up with. Unfortunately I cant see a way without the CIO method and at this age, its even more heartbreaking, especially when you haven't done it before. Its like they are being punished and they dont understand why. How long has it been going on for? It sounds a bit habit like and I wonder if you let her sleep with you for a few nights, get into the sleep pattern again then try her back in her own bed? I really dont know (this advice comes from one who puts up with feet in her back every night!) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 9:51am
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Yeah thats the problem, is that we think its now a bit of a habit, as she has gotten into the habit of getting into our bed, and one of us going to her bed....its not fair on Kent when he has to get up for work in the morning.
I think im just gonna have to be tough and go back to what the routine use to be...bed at 7.30pm and if she gets up she gets put back. Of course it probably doesnt help that the last 3 weekends she has been away from home for 3 nights while we have been painting etc...so she really clingy at the moment too. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 1:33pm
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I can't help at all but just wanted to let you know I know what you're going through.
Michaela's just started doing the exact same thing but I barely wake when she comes into our room and DH doesn't share my bed during the week so Michaela just climbs in. Like you I think I just have to get tough and keep putting her back until she gets the idea (but it's easier said than done in the middle of the night and early hours of the morning). p.s. noticed Rhiannon and Michaela are only a few days apart - maybe these ratbags are communicating. ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 1:36pm
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Hey, Charlotte's same age too and doing the same thing. I'm sure it's a conspiracy now - lol. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 1:47pm
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okay so maybe its just an age thing, i must admit i am going to get tough tonight...Rhi is asleep at the moment, as been out for almost 2 hours, so it does mean tonight she will go down a bit later...so the plan is
to hve dinner at usual time, the we are going to mcds playground for an hour or so, home for a shower and into bed...fingers crossed it works ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 1:51pm
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Good luck. Let us know how it goes.
Also, if she's being really persistant on a particular night have you considered climbing into her bed with her so DH can continue sleeping? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 1:56pm
Have you guys managed to convince the girls that the shower is actually ok? I am still having a huge problem with it, I got her in there night before last but it was clingy tears and howls. It just saves soooo much time and water! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Kazzle wrote:Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 1:59pm
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Michaela used to love have showerbaths with me (basically I'd have a shower with the plug in and she'd splash around until I was finished) but we now have a seperate shower.
She hated it initially but I sit on the floor of the shower and take the shower head down so she holds it and she loves it (especially since she can soak me with the shower head). ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 2:03pm
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I am going to try again tonight. I did manage to get her to laugh once the other night by putting my head under and spluttering (the things we do for these kids!) But she still isn't that happy about the shower!
And good luck tonight Kaz - I hope you have better luck than me! (I am faaaar too soft!) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 2:05pm
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A tap shower? Huh? Do you mean a removeable head thingee - we do have that. But no plug cause its a seperate shower.
We haven't given her many showers because of the tears but am going to try twice a week from now. Might get Daddy in there with her too (no, not all of us together - no way we would fit!) 
EDIT - oh for the bath. Gotcha - good idea! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 2:06pm
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when its time for Rhiannon to have a shower we do the following things
we go to the cupboard and get her flannel (she picks 2)..one for her to wipe her face with, one for us to use to wash her. She then picks which stuff she wants to use in the shower, (only give her a choice of 2) we then turn the water on, and undress, when water is warm enough we help her climb in, she then backs into the water, and we just go from there...no tears no dramas, (well most the time...lol) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 2:08pm
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What is it with flannels too - god, we have sooo many, none of which are ever dry or in the place they should be - as soon as I wash them, she takes them away, its an obsession.
Sorry about getting off track! Its nice to know I ain't the only one being driven crazy by a 2 year old! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 19 February 2008 at 9:41pm
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well, we went to mcds, had a play, came home gave her a shower, put her to bed at 7.30pm and she has only been asleep for about 30mins
but at least she went to sleep in her bed and is still there ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 7:46am
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well that lasted until 3am, when i moved to her bed, but i must admit to getting some pleasure in waking her at 6.30am as i need the car today...so she will go down for a sleep about 10ish hopefully, and i can have a nanna nap with her ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 7:56am
LOL I feel the same way when Michaela's been a ratbag. Good that it was only one wakeup and maybe with you moving into her bed she'll get the idea that that's where she should stay and eventually she'll stay there without waking you (that's what I'm hoping for anyway). Having said that Michaela slept through last night and even slept in late this morning - ok, so I'm just bragging a bit now although I really shouldn't because I think she has a cold which'll be why she slept so well. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 8:12am
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bugger for the cold, dont like sick kids, but thats probably because mine gets really clingy and only wants mummy.
yahhh for sleeping through the night though ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 8:51am
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I know, I hate sickness too but so far we've been pretty lucky with her she's only had a handful of sniffles in her life (pretty sure being a stay at home first born helps).
Good luck (for both of us) for a good sleep tonight. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 1:30pm
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Ok, I had heaps and heaps of problems with Jake's sleeping to the point I actaully wanted to hurt him. I got alot of great help, advise and support from a lady called Tracie Martin, who is a "sleep expert". After about 2 months, I had him sleeping through most nights, them we went through a bad patch again over chirstmas, but it only took about 3 nights to get back on top of it. The biggest thing that I have found to help has been making his day sleep (and he still needs one) no longer than an hour and a half and no later than 3pm.
Also, now tht he is older and remembers stuff, befiore I turn the light out, we go through the rules, which are No getting out of bed, no getting into mummy and daddy's bed, no mummy and daddy gettting into my bed and no more milk. He knows them by heart, and if he does wake, he very very rarely gets out of bed, just yells/crys out. Hugs to you. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 February 2008 at 8:54pm
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How's Rhiannon doing with this now? I think being tough is the only way. Kryssi has been starting to wake lately for no apparently reason. I give her a cuddle (without turning lights on, talking, or leaving the room with her) and tuck her back in. It doesn't take her too long to re-settle.
Other ideas are: Wake her after 1 1/2 hrs of day sleep, to help her be more tired at night (we are doing that with Briona) Get her into a firm routine for at least a week and then stay as close to it as reasonably possible. This is bed routine but also rough sleep times at morning/night. It sounds to me like she gets overtired and then makes far more trouble for you. If you can teach her to self-settle - which often can only be done by CIO or she'll just always look to you to settle her - then you'll do everyone a favour. -------------  |
Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 21 February 2008 at 8:01am
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I can't speak for Charlotte or Rhiannon but Michaela was taught to self settle at 10 months old and has been doing it ever since. It's only in the early hours, when I'm most vulnerable, she decides she'd rather have cuddles (cheeky monkey).
How was Rhiannon last night?? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 21 February 2008 at 8:40am
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Rhi settled pretty well last night, i have noticed a pattern though, when she starts to teeth or is starting to come down with something, she stops sleeping through and gets really clingy and grizzly.
I havent been able to be out of her sight for about 4 days now, she screams the house down, and last night, i left her with Kent in teh fish n chip shop and went next door to the dairy, next thing i know, i have this hysterical sobbing/screaming child running past the dairy screaming, "mummy mummy". Everyone just stopped and stared, and when she saw me she screamed "mummy gone". so i think i have a bit of separationg anxiety going on. Which really isnt surprising since she has spent 3 weekends in a row away from home, due to us painting. She is also now able to tell me if she is hurt anywhere, and last night she kept putting her fingers in her mouth and pushing on her gums saying "sore mummy, hurt mummy", so hopefully wont last much longer. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 21 February 2008 at 8:44am
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Oh, poor little lady. Are you pro drugging prior to bed (nurofen or pamol and bonjela) does it help?
Hope she feels well soon and that you manage to get a good nights sleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 21 February 2008 at 10:48am
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She def sounds like she has the seperation anxiety thing going on (and can relate!). Poor girl with the teeth, luckily we haven't had too many problems. But at least now she can tell you whats hurting!
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 21 February 2008 at 11:02am
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pamol and bonjela dont work, the pamol she drinks like lollie water, and the bonjela she hates.
I have made sure that i have spent heaps of time with her this week, and we are keeping her home this weekend, so hopefully this stage wont last long ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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