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Aroz View Drop Down
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    Posted: 20 July 2011 at 1:59pm

Hi guys I don't come on here often but it seems I may need some advice and haven't had much luck elsewhere! My DD is 2 1/2 and still BF which was never a problem for us before now. I know my DD loves it (in fact she's extremely attached) but now she is moved out of mummy and daddys bed and into her own bed in big sisters room she is waking up constantly. At first feeding her back to sleep seemed the easiest and only option but after getting up every hour or two, I would usually end up falling asleep next to her in her single bed while she feeds throughout the night and waking up in the morning with serious back pains. I feel like I'm ready to wean her but don't know where to start. She is fine during the day when she is at daycare but as soon as she comes home she is straight to it. I thought maybe dropping the night feeds first might be a good way to start and only feed her when I am putting her to sleep? She sometimes has a day nap too so she still feeds occasionally during the day. The night feeds are the most difficult as I am constantly having broken sleeps and back pains and not to mention no time with my partner! Has anyone else had to wean an older toddler and how did you do it without feeling guilty? Sorry if it's a bit lengthy!

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AandCsmum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AandCsmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2011 at 2:21pm
I take it you don't offer & she does ask?

Maybe when she asks, say Mummy is busy right now maybe later, & distract her with water or milk from the fridge, say have this for now if you are thirsty?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mum2ET Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2011 at 2:25pm

I weaned DD when she was 2. It was actually really easy- I dropped all the feeds at the same time and started in evening. Before she went to bed I explained that she was a big girl now and she could have a milo before bed and that Mummys milk was all gone. She was perfectly fine with it and I made sure that I gave her a snuggle before bed. Then when she woke at 5am and asked for milk I explained there was no more milk and she went staight back to sleep (first time ever). I think for the next 2 days she asked for milk every now and then and again was fine when I told her "no more milk" and gave her a cup of milk instead. Before I weaned her she was waking at least once a night for a feed but staight away started sleeping through.

 

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Aroz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aroz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2011 at 2:31pm

I try to distract her as much as possible during the days. Occasionally she will be easily distracted but when she is really determined she can become very stroppy and we have had the occasional screaming tantrums if she can't have it right away.

Btw she has no problems going to sleep if its nan or aunty babysitting and she sleeps all night, but when I'm the one putting her to sleep she has to be bf and wakes up constantly. My partner is recovering from a back injury too so is limited in what he can do to help

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aroz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2011 at 2:39pm

I have been trying to explain to her for a few days now that big girls don't bf and ask is she a big girl she tries to say yes but then still wants it straight away. Her big sister has been telling her too but she is adamant she is still allowed it lol. The hardest part is getting her to understand why she has to stop without her getting too emotional about it. She has been v clingy the last few days when dropping her at daycare refusing to let me go

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sarasal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2011 at 11:07pm
My son is the same age and I've been gently encouraging him to cut back since around the time he turned 2. It's going well - he's down to just comfort-nursing for a minute or 2 before bed. He still sleeps with us though - I found he got more clingy when I tried to put him in his own room.

Basically, what I've been doing at night is saying no to him, at first only between midnight-6am, and telling him he could have some in the morning, that the boobs were sleeping. If he got really distressed, I'd just feed him because it wasn't worth the time it would take to calm him down. Depending on how awake he was, I'd offer him other things instead - a cuddle, a whispered story, a drink of water or milk in a cup, a song, or I'd let him just hold the boob, which seems to comfort him just as much as nursing. Once he was able to fall back to sleep without the boob in his mouth, things quickly got better and he's been sleeping through the night for a couple of months now. Good luck & hope you get some good sleep soon :)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote millemama Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 July 2011 at 2:56pm
Have you read thru the extended breastfeeding thread, could be helpful. I had a very similar story to you and wanted to give up the night time feeding (we are co-sleeping), so had to bite the bullet and told DH to go sleep in the other room for a few nights as his impatience was more distracting than DD crying. I BF her to sleep (she has done since birth) but after that refused to BF when she woke, which was several times a night, sometimes more.

It was very hard at first, she cried for about 30mins first refusal, then repeated this a few times thru the night, with lessor crying times. Everytime I offered her "cuddle and kiss", and kept repeatng this 'mantra' to her, no other words. I did this over a few nights and during the day explained how she is a big girl etc and doesn't need boobie to sleep.

Anyway it did work and it didn't take nearly as long as I expected, a few days and it was done and we haven't looked back.

The next thing we have tried about 2wks ago is weaning completely, this was mainly aimed at the BF to sleep and the BF to wake. That was also achieved - much to my amazement - fairly easily. It took about 2 nights to get that sorted with just a few small setbacks and I have started to read a book to her instead then cuddle her to sleep, doesn't take long.

Yes it was heartbreaking at times, had a cry myself, she is a boobie girl too, but I did have extra motivation to stop as I am pregnant and couldn't see it working too well with both demand feeding and knew it would make me a happier and ultimately better mummy.

But kept the main goal in focus and said that once I started, I wasn't going to stop until success, as I knew she was old enough to stop.

We are still co-sleeping but this is the next step for us to conquer. Sorry for the novel but know just how you feel, any question please feel free to ask. GL

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aroz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 July 2011 at 4:19pm

Thanks so much for the advice guys. I will definitely try some of the ideas on here. Have just been a bit to nervous to try in case I gave in to easily. I'm such a sucker when she cries. I think I'll start with feeding her to sleep then if she wakes during the night will try just giving cuddles etc. My only concern is that her crying may wake her sister but I may just have to bite the bullet and try. I suppose it could be worse trying to wean her if she was still co-sleeping with us - her daddy has no patience either

I think she is gettting better at holding out longer during the day too, or maybe I'm just getting better at distracting her, even though she can still be a bit clingy at times, but fingers crossed we make it through the night!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nztui Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2011 at 7:11pm
Sounds like a good plan :)
I'd be inclined to start with weaning at night first so it's not too overwhelming although probably that'll be the hardest hurdle. I was in a similar situation with bf my daughter every 3 hrs for months on end and just knew I couldn't continue with the disrupted sleep. It took a long time to do because I wasn't able to be consistent but once my husband was finally on board and we stuck to settling her without a bf it went ok. She still woke but often not every 3hrs.
I also started trying to wean in the daytime when my daughter was 28months as I was going away for over a week so wanted to prepare her. It was much easier in the daytime as there's so much else to do and distraction is easier. I tried changing things a bit at the times she'd typically ask for a bf so it wasn't the normal routine which helped.
And if you do change your mind it is possible to go back to bf after you've stopped! I thought I had finished completely when I was away from DD for nearly 2 wks but she started bf again after I was back and then gradually cut back herself when she was ready. It's amazing how resilient our bodies are!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nztui Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2011 at 7:13pm
Ooops the other thing I meant to say is try and give your daughter lots of positive attention during the day to try and help replace the comfort she would normally get from bf. If that makes sense?
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