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Babe 
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Location: New Zealand
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 Posted: 25 September 2011 at 1:36pm |
 newme wrote:
LivMcD wrote:
So my question is - is putting your own health at risk (stress related) worth giving your bubs breastmilk if Ive proved formula can be just as good? My goal for the future is to make formula a NON taboo subject and stop making mums feel guilty about using it.
Thanks for all your answers and comments  |
You have proven formula can be just as good??? No. It is not. You have not proven that. Study after study after study have proven that breastmilk is best. It is the normal way to feed an baby, and breastmilk is the perfect food for a babys body. They are always finding out more and more benefits to breatfeeding and breastmilk. Breastmilk is vastly superior to formula. I agree that in some cases breasfeeding doesn't work, and in these cases formula has its place, for sure. But no, it isn't just as good.
It sounds like you have pretty much decided you want to formula feed, so if you want to make it non-taboo, then why don't you just go ahead and do it, and be proud of your decision? |
Ergh this type of talk is what puts the pressure on to BF in the first place! Yeah breastmilk has more benefits in *MOST* cases (if the mother is eating right, drinking enough and not taking anything that could harm the baby - I make that point because people often have really crap diets, don't drink enough water and yes these days there are a high precentage of mothers who take either illicit drugs or even just meds that aren't brill for baby) but actually formula IS just as good at making sure the babies tummy is full, they have the basic nutrients required and they thrive. It really annoys me when people, intentionally or otherwise, push the breast is best guilt trip. IMO its causing alot more unhappy, guilt-driven mummies than it is causing great BFing bonding experiences.
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LivMcD
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Joined: 16 February 2010
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 1:38pm |
Hey thanks to the ladies for the last couple of comments! I love the lactating cow comment! Very true about eating alot and I did try my best coz I was always so damn hungry! I guess 2 weeks is probably a bit too short but I guess Im just not one of those women that like/enjoy breastfeeding so I guess getting it into my head that as long as they get the colostrum, Im happy with my descion that if it doesnt work Im happy with formula.
As for Plunket, already decided I am not going to them with this little one - I hardly have seen them anyway with DD but when I did they are so bloody judgemental of everything I did grrr!
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Hopes
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 1:43pm |
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For what it's worth, I did NOT enjoy breastfeeding in the first two weeks - probably for the first month, in fact. And although I have nothing to compare it to, I tend to consider myself as having had no more than the 'average' learning curve with both Bubs and me getting the hang of what to do. So if it helps, I don't think you need to assume you're 'not one of those women that like/enjoy breastfeeding' because you didn't in the first two weeks. I think it would be rare woman who did love it from the word go, learning any new skill is hard work at first.
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LivMcD
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 2:51pm |
Thank you Babe! That is exactly why I got my defences up, I feel exactly the same as you. Yes most of the time breast is best, but what if you dont have enough of it to feed your child?? Thats what happened to me.
And Hopes if you read my first post, I wrote that actually breastfed for 4 months with DD and would have gone longer (because plunket, other mums etc guilt trips) but DD decided to wean herself off and everytime I tried to latch her she would scream. So I do understand those first two weeks are the hardest even the first month, sore nipples, getting the hang of it etc. But because after every b/f (which would usually last 40 mins) she would still be starving, I found it hard to enjoy because my baby wasnt getting the sufficeint amount of nutrients. I shudder to think what my happy healthy DD would be like today if my MW didnt suggest I tried supplementing her with formula because I didnt have enough milk. I think a happy and healthy mum = to a happy and healthy baby.
I am really hoping by some miracle that this time around ill have an abbundance of breast milk and I wont have to top up, but if I do, I know it works :)
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Hopes
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 3:39pm |
I did read it, but the other day... and I'd obviously misread because I'd thought you'd only breastfed for two weeks. My bad 
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LivMcD
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 4:14pm |
All good Hopes, just dont want people to think I didnt give it a good go :)
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InthemiddleMummy
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 4:54pm |
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liv
meant to say that with the nipple shields (use the smallest size for newborn) you dont get sore/bleeding/cracked nipples) and it doesnt hurt like a vice clamp is on your nipple each time you feed. The MW "gave them to me as last resort" day 3/4 in hosp when she still wouldnt latch, I got told how they reduce your milk flow and blah blah bad for nipple confusion waa whatever. Another good thing about nipple shields is baby doesnt gag from milk spraying into there throat as it "pools" in the teat part of the shield.
Anyway with DD2 i feed the colostrum without them then once milk in I definately needed them and I recommend them, although like anything there are many against them. I found they worked well for me & my first 2 babys.
Anyway might be something to try if it interests you, Start using them before the soreness settles in, IMO> remeber thou this is just one mum to another mum, im not the LLL who properly shun them, I just wanted to let you know BF was made less painful and simpler by me by using nipple shields and routine feeding, but each to there own choices, you the mum and its your baby, you decide whats best for you both.
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InthemiddleMummy
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 4:57pm |
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And at the end of the day a HAPPY MUMMY makes a HAPPY BABY, So if BF or FF makes you HAPPY then go with what works.
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Hopes
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 5:31pm |
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Nipple shields were a lifesaver here, too - although I'd be a bit reluctant to use them with an already low milk supply. I had excess, so it didn't really matter, and they really helped Jacob latch.
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Puddleduck
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 5:41pm |
No advice for you really Liv, just wanted to day good luck
I'll be taking formula to the hospital next time. With DS I didn't sleep for 3 days after he was born because he was literally starving and fed constantly. He lost 500g in the first 3 days and I was super stressed. When he was finally given formula on day 4 we both got a much needed sleep. After that one top up we managed to sort ourselves out and breastfeed successfully (still going).
So anyways I'm trying to say that maybe a little topping up in the beginning might help? It sounds like you had a hell of a time first time round though - getting to 4 months must have been a mission and I can completely understand not wanting/being able to do the same with a toddler in tow.
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Babe
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 5:56pm |
Haha yeah I wondered if that was where you were coming from Liv. I hated BFing with #2, he stopped growing at 36 wks and was born with no fat stores so it was constant feeding, constantly and while he latched on like a trooper, I had tons of milk, no sore nipples (except for an excruciating bout of thrush - o.m.g!!!) and everything went smoothly the constant having to stop what I was doing to top up his tummy did my head in. I felt like I never had any breathing space and personal space - what was that? I either had a baby latched on, a toddler needing some love or a DH wanting some cuddles and quality time (just time y'know not BDing lol) and I felt soooo trapped. The guilt outweighed it all though. I felt so awful that I didn't have any issues yet still hated it, I felt like I was failing Ty by weaning him and I felt like 'breast was the ONLY best'. It was such a relief when he went onto a bottle at 8.5 monthes!!!
I believe breastfeeding is a wonderful way to feed your child and yes I will attempt it again with the next bubs because FX this time baby will have good fat stores (like DS1) and not need to feed every half an hour!! But I really feel strongly that the breast is best mantra has been taken too far.
With nipple shields I used them with #1. We only BF'd for 6/7 weeks and I couldn't get him latched without them (undiagnosed tonguetie) BUT as a warning to anyone using them I wasn't told that the shields aren't effective in draining the breast so I got a horrible case of mastitis, ended up on ABs and poor Jake had a massive penicillen reaction and ended up in hospital at which point I was a wise mama and said screw this and put him on a bottle  my advice and what I would do if I used them again would be to pump out my breasts every couple of days. Worth keeping in mind anyway 
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LivMcD
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 6:47pm |
Thanks for that Puddleduck, I was in exactly the same boat as you were!
As for the nipple shields, I would be definitly up for trying them if I have a latching problem, but with DD it was more of a low milk supply than anything.
And thanks Babe for the great advice, I am also under the impression that the breast is best mantra has gone far to far and new mums are so guilted into doing this and nothing else. I felt absolutly guilty and like the worst mum in the world when I had to buy that first tin of formula, but when I saw how well DD reacted to it, I was hooked! At least I know now that I cant be guilted into doing something that wont benefit myself or bubs if its just not working.
Lets hope in say 10 months time I can come back on here and let ya's know how it went!
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Raspberryjam
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 7:08pm |
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you know Im just gonna put it out there....
Breastfeeding Mums dont go without there fair share of advice, comments, hardship and predjudice either, so Im not really into he breastfeeding mums just think they are so much better the FF mums blah blah. The predjudice i only there if you choose to jump on that bandwagon.
Know your rights, make your decision based on educated information and just do what feels right for you.
In my case, with both breastfeeding and bottle feeding, I made a decision and got on with it.
If you are blaming others for feeling guilty stop taking their bull on board.
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Plushie
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 7:20pm |
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I swear i am not some crazy league pusher but they're not shunning nipple shields, in fact there is a woman at my local still feeding a 2 year old with shields. I really only came back in to check i hadnt inadvertantly offended someone. Its such a sensitive topic. Liv, good luck!! I hope things go well for you both x
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TheKelly
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 7:49pm |
LivMcD wrote:
Basically, this is probably just a rant but Im 10 weeks pregnant and this time I have decided that Im going to give breastfeeding two weeks, and if its not working for me or if baby is not happening, Im going to give bubs the next best option - formula, which as you can imagine has come with even more criticsm. My question is - has anyone else had a easier/better time the second time around? I do not want to run myself into the ground like last time just because people gave me the guilts.
Thanks everyone |
Hey chick,I had a crappy time when feeding my first daughter,persevered and made it to 13 months,but she was on formula topups from a few weeks old.
My son though,latched on at birth and fed like a dream until he self weaned himself at 9months,was like night and day....
My third baby was a nightmare to feed,I had mastitis and thrush and was too sore to even walk around (which resulted in me getting a blood clot in my leg) when the MW suggested putting her on formula as well I was all for it,formula definitely has its place,I couldn't have gotten through the first couple of weeks without it.
I think you will find that being a mum for a second time,you are a lot better at knowing its noone's business how you feed your baby but yours and just because people have advice,or views and opinions,doesn't mean you have to listen to them,at the end of the day,formula or breasfeeding,you are getting your child fed,and thats what counts
Edited by TheKelly
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troutpout
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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 8:46pm |
First, huge huge praise for you for doing all that you could to give it a good go, and even though it didn't work out you tried everything and that's what I think matters
I was very lucky, and actually had an oversupply, so I had my own issues to deal with due to my oversupply causing DD to frequently projectile vomit because her little tummy couldn't swallow it quickly enough! But I know plenty of people who had the opposite problem like you, and I know how heartbreaking it was.
Anyways, here is a link to a pretty interesting article on the subject, hope you find some helpful stuff in there. low milk linky
Huge hugs, and best of luck with your new bubba!
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Dally
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Posted: 26 September 2011 at 11:09am |
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You have to do what is right for you & baby. "Happy mum = happy baby" is my moto!!
I too had an oversupply so had to deal with constant engorment for 5 months until things finally started settling down (so much for 6 weeks like everyone said!)! I will certainly be introducing a bottle next time round & I'm not fased wether its EBM or formula! I made the mistake of not doing that with DS & I had NO freedom until we started weaning which was a 4 and a half month process!
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pudgy
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Posted: 26 September 2011 at 1:55pm |
The best thing you can do is educate yourself Go to a LLL meeting now, before you have baby. Gather all the information you can. Get a support network in place, people to cook meals, clean the house, fold washing etc.
Check out this Kellymom
Learn how breastfeeding works, supply- demand etc and how introducing tops ups and affect supply. I personally don't think two weeks is a fair shot, more like 6-8 . Prepare yourself mentally.
Have a plan in place with your mw and gp ( Is it the gp who can prescribe the llikes of domperidone ? ) in case it doesn't work well. Make sure befo the birth you have protein rich snacks available, nuts, eggs etc. Make some la tation cookies and buy some complan.
Educating yourself is the best way to prepare. That and having a plan you can follow.
Breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby , and being able to breastfeed is worth working for
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Breastfeeding
