stressed, exhausted, bored!

Hi there everyone,
I am 25 years old and this is our first, and unexpected, baby. We have recently moved back to NZ from Aussie, starting fresh and staying with family until we find our feet.. which I am trying to come to terms with.

I am around 30 weeks pregnant, and have been blessed to have a pretty non-eventful pregnancy so far. Things have been going great, I didn't have much morning sickness, my tummy isn't HUGE yet, baby girl is kicking routinely and in my 2nd trimester I even had that burst of energy to keep me going.

But now I find myself getting emotional at the drop of a hat, feeling completely freaked out about the ideas of both giving birth (at a birth centre, as we are rural...) and of having a baby and the life-changes that will bring, and constantly freaking out about thing especially MONEY MONEY MONEY. I find myself turning into this nagging, control-freak person at least every couple of days no matter how hard I try to keep it 'together' and taking this out on my poor, understanding partner or breaking down completely bursting into teary, panic-attack style frets.

Money is VERY tight but we have family support at the moment, we are currently living on around $300 a week and even though DP is really supportive & would never let me go without, I find myself freaking out about how DP spends his part of the money, thinking "how are we going to do this in future when DP goes back to study, me with a baby, living on sweet-f-all?!"
I was earning my own decent wage in Aussie and now have to rely on the Govt handouts for a while, I feel completely at a loss and wish there was a way I could handle this! I have been trying my best to keep busy but just end up completely exhausted physically and am not sleeping the best either.

I guess what I am asking is, is this normal? Will these sort of panicky feelings go away after I have the baby? Will I ever feel like my carefree self again? I'm scared I will end up with Post Natal depression the way I am going now... should I talk to my LMC's about this - I feel like they will just tell me 'all will be fine' & that's not what I feel like!

The 'baby books' tell me I should be having LESS mood-swings and anxiety now... but it honestly seems to just be getting worse.
:(

Just to add - are you managing a small walk each day? It will help get blood flowing, and help you feel better, my LMC is always encouraging me to get out for a bit of exercise.

I think as soon as your wee girl is born things will come into perspective a lot. I found myself stressing MAJORLY before DD was born, about much the same as you have talked about. When she came along all of a sudden my mind was way more occupied (so it couldnt wander into dark, depressing thoughts anymore), and I realised that having money for cool things was all fine and good - but I didnt have time to spend money! And all of a sudden the stuff I was stressing about were irrelevant and I just got on with being a mum

And yep I dont have any problem with people getting paid by tax-payers to cover gaps in their lives where they can not support themselves. My DH earnt too much for me to get any kind of benefit (and trust me, the threshold isnt that high!) but we still recieved the tax credit of $1200 which was a great help.. So you will get that at a bare minimum. I know that me working 14hrs/week from when DD was 5mths old has really kept my brain alive and given me that extra spark

Thanks to ALL of you for your replies. I have been feeling like SUCH a nagger lately, and then I break down & apologise to my DP who tells me everything will be fine... then I feel like an idiot for acting so out of sorts!

LMC has recommended I try taking Evening Primrose Oil capsules : has anyone found these help for the stress/hormone-mood-swing thing?
I will be taking this on top of iron supplements and a pregnancy multivitamin... I am taking so many things I hope they help!

CrazyCass - thankyou for being so kind! I had been walking each day, but lately it's been pouring with rain and now we have over 2 feet of snow! I will definitely continue as long as I can with walks though when the weather permits.

GirlsRock - are you talking about the Parental Tax Credit payments? I am not sure if I am eligible for this, as I was working O/seas and not in an NZ job for the last few years and my DP is only working a seasonal job which will end before baby is born - therefore meaning we will have to go on the UB again!

Isabella wrote: I think as soon as your wee girl is born things will come into perspective a lot. I found myself stressing MAJORLY before DD was born, about much the same as you have talked about. When she came along all of a sudden my mind was way more occupied (so it couldnt wander into dark, depressing thoughts anymore), and I realised that having money for cool things was all fine and good - but I didnt have time to spend money! And all of a sudden the stuff I was stressing about were irrelevant and I just got on with being a mum And yep I dont have any problem with people getting paid by tax-payers to cover gaps in their lives where they can not support themselves. My DH earnt too much for me to get any kind of benefit (and trust me, the threshold isnt that high!) but we still recieved the tax credit of $1200 which was a great help.. So you will get that at a bare minimum. I know that me working 14hrs/week from when DD was 5mths old has really kept my brain alive and given me that extra spark

Thanks for this Isabella, I hope that I'm the same as you and once baby girl is here I will be TOO busy to let those dark thoughts back in!